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Thread: weather is lousy, it is cold, nothign much to smile or to do,so i was digging up some old jokes...

  1. #16
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    (The guy behind him has a case of beer in his shopping cart)

    Have we reached the ultimate stage of absurdity where some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, while other people are not held responsible for what they themselves are doing today?

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  3. #17
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    new joke, ladies, no offense meant....

    "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."
    They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year. " The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
    They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's rib, said, "That's once a day.You could REALLY learn something from this one."
    The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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  5. #18
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    [QUOTE=TheInterocitor;1492563](The guy behind him has a case of beer in his shopping cart)

    his grand children will be using them for many a year to come...what an idiot!
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

  6. #19
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    [QUOTE=Benedikt;1492566]
    Quote Originally Posted by TheInterocitor View Post
    (The guy behind him has a case of beer in his shopping cart)
    Quote Originally Posted by TheInterocitor View Post
    his grand children will be using them for many a year to come...what an idiot!
    A real "hardass"
    Have we reached the ultimate stage of absurdity where some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, while other people are not held responsible for what they themselves are doing today?

  7. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benedikt View Post
    his grand children will be using them for many a year to come...what an idiot!
    So he is going to die soon?
    If we estimate that there is 1200 rolls of toilet paper and one roll last for 3 days, then ..... 10 years, if one roll last one day, then app. 3 years.

    Some years ago, well it was many years ago, my brothers and me bought a pallet of toilet paper, way more that we see on this picture, it was a great deal from an economic point of view, but storage of that many "tickets for the final destination" is a pain, so it was a one of event, but they lasted for some years.

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  9. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hans.KK View Post
    ...
    If we estimate that there is 1200 rolls of toilet paper and one roll last for 3 days, then ..... 10 years, if one roll last one day, then app. 3 years...
    Looking at the photo, it appears that there are 160 sheets per roll. If one roll only lasts 3 days, that's more than 50 sheets per day. The guy is going to die of something else first.

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  11. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigBear View Post
    Looking at the photo, it appears that there are 160 sheets per roll. If one roll only lasts 3 days, that's more than 50 sheets per day. The guy is going to die of something else first.
    Ever heard about large family's with more than 2 persons?
    And marketing can make many things look impressive, reality is that there is a huge difference on the quality of toilet paper, if you are lucky then one sheet may do the trick, unlucky, then you need way more than one sheet, and on top of that, when it comes to wiping **** your mileage may vary a lot.

    And we have around 26 rolls of the magic paper and unknown reasons two toilet rooms, they were both present when we got the apartment, this is still a mystery why the previous owner made two, and they are side by side.

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  13. #23
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    time for a new joke, no toilet paper, no hand sanitizer, but things like that do happen?

    Wife calls husband- my computer is not working-.
    Husband – did you press that big -on- button?
    Wife- yes i did, but nothing going-
    Husband- is the computer plugged in, you know the plug is under the computer table?
    Wife – wait a moment, i get the flashlight to have a look-
    Husband- why do you need a flashlight-?
    Wife – i can see nothing. Because we have no electricity and it is dark under the table-
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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  15. #24
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    [COLOR="#FF0000"][QUOTE=Hans.KK;1492570]So he is going to die soon?
    If we estimate that there is 1200 rolls of toilet paper and one roll last for 3 days, then ..... 10 years, if one roll last one day, then app. 3 years.


    from what one can read, most of it is not even toilet paper, these are kitchen towels. if the towels -there + are the same size like -ours - here, on towel has the size of 4 pieces of toilet paper. maybe the guy will sit at home, cut up the towels into pieces? will keep him busy and he does not have to use his brains much..
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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  17. #25
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    The paper towels are thicker than the thin toilet paper. They will sop up a lot of moisture. He must be a real "hardass"!
    Have we reached the ultimate stage of absurdity where some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, while other people are not held responsible for what they themselves are doing today?

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  19. #26
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    a guy cries over a grave:
    'why did you pass away so early and young at age'
    'who are you mourning ask a sympathetic bystander?'
    -i am mourning my wife's first husband'...
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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  21. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hans.KK View Post
    So he is going to die soon?
    He's planning to take it with him? Wonder if the coronavirus has infected the afterlife? Will we have to wear masks?

    Okay, I'll shut up.
    Have we reached the ultimate stage of absurdity where some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, while other people are not held responsible for what they themselves are doing today?

  22. #28
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    a little bit a not quite political correct one... though i do recall Kanzler Kohl from Germany saying- I am German,i speak German and do not need to know any other language-.

    If someone who speaks 3 languages is trilingual, and someone who speaks 2 languages is bilingual, what do you call someone who speaks 1 language?
    American!
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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  24. #29
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    as old as the hills, but i still like it,

    English might be the most widespread language in the world but there’s still no ham in hamburger, no egg in eggplant and neither pine nor apple in pineapple.
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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  26. #30
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    And we have around 26 rolls of the magic paper and unknown reasons two toilet rooms, they were both present when we got the apartment, this is still a mystery why the previous owner made two, and they are side by side.[/QUOTE]

    maybe he was a person who likes to read a book while having a -meeting-? ( i do...) or one toilet was the -gust toilet-?- sterile and impersonal- and not giving away any personal details? books, maybe a glass with a drink or the likes?
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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