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Thread: weather is lousy, it is cold, nothign much to smile or to do,so i was digging up some old jokes...

  1. #91
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    Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert? ( answer is further down...)









    A: Lost
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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  3. #92
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    and another short one, easy to remember...

    what is the best about Switzerland?
    their flag, it is a big plus...
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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  5. #93
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    and one more, again a short one...

    Life is a lot like toilet paper.
    You're either on a roll.....or you're taking shit from some asshole.
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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  7. #94
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    once more, raining outside, so, something to cheer -us - up...


    Suzie: Mom, I’m doing Geography homework. Where are the Andes?
    Mother (not listening closely): How should I know? If you’d put your things away where they belong, you’d be able to find them when you need them.
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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  9. #95
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    a little bit a -racist - one...

    weather is still lousy, raining, cold, so lets have some more to smile at...
    Attached Files Attached Files
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

  10. #96
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    Got all your other jokes, enjoyed them. But this one couldn't be downloaded...the joke that got away.

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    Benedikt (02-06-2020)

  12. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by xt-tsi View Post
    Got all your other jokes, enjoyed them. But this one couldn't be downloaded...the joke that got away.
    I think this is it:

    https://scontent-arn2-2.xx.fbcdn.net...15&oe=5EF851A6
    Have we reached the ultimate stage of absurdity where some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, while other people are not held responsible for what they themselves are doing today?

  13. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheInterocitor View Post
    indeed it was,thank you for helping our...
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

  14. #99
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    i still can laugh about - ourselves -

    A group of Austrians, embarrassed of the Swiss engineers, approach them with a request to build a bridge in the Sahara. "We want to build the most beautiful bridge, with perfect precision, workmanship, and quality to last a thousand years".

    The Swiss Engineers, intrigued by the challenge, go to work. Six months later, they present the Austrians with their timeless bridge in all its glory!

    "Hahaha, you dumb Swiss, there's no water in the Sahara, we made you build a useless bridge", teased the Austrians with great fervor. "Now tear it down"

    Reply the Swiss engineers: "We would, but there's a group of Austrians fishing off it".
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

  15. #100
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    suppose as old as the hills, but very actual these days?

    A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.
    A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
    “Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”
    Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”
    He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”
    Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
    She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”
    The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful.
    Now listen very, very, closely: “Are – my – test – results – back?”
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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  17. #101
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    haven't one of the -knock knock - ones, so here is one..

    Knock! Knock!
    Who's there?
    Voodoo.
    Voodoo who?
    Voodoo you think you are, asking all these questions?
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

  18. #102
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    WW2 is over now,what 75 years?

    The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. "Of course, my son," said the priest.
    "Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."
    "That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest.
    "It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man.
    "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest.
    "Thanks, Father," said the old man.
    "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?"
    "Of course, my son," said the priest.
    The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?".
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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  20. #103
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    one for dog owners...
    have you ever seen your dog up a tree? not me. ..
    Why do dogs bury bones in the ground? A: Because you can't bury them in trees!
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

  21. #104
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    weather sucks once more, after yesterdays sunshine...

    How does a rabbi make coffee? Hebrews it!

    Rest in peace boiling water. You will be mist!

    How do you throw a space party? You planet!

    Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I'm still working on that one.

    Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

    I hate Russian dolls… they're so full of themselves!

    Talk is cheap? Have you ever talked to a lawyer?

    Why did the gym close down? It just didn't work out!

    Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw!

    A plateau is the highest form of flattery
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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  23. #105
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    and also here a last one...

    When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?

    Because when you find it, you stop looking.
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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