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Thread: weather is lousy, it is cold, nothign much to smile or to do,so i was digging up some old jokes...

  1. #106
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    A teenage boy was shopping in a supermarket when he noticed an old lady following him wherever he went.

    When he stopped, she stopped. And when he moved, she moved.

    Then the old lady approached him and said: “I hope I didn’t creep you out or anything, it’s just that you look a lot like my son.”

    “It’s all right,” the boy then said.

    The old lady continued, “I know this is silly, but if you could just say ‘bye, mom’ as I leave the store, that would make me very happy.”

    “Sure,” replied the boy.

    Later, as the old lady was leaving the store, the teenage boy said “goodbye mom.” The old lady just smiled and waved at him.

    The boy was happy thinking he had made her day. He went on to pay for his bill. The clerk then said, ”Your total came out to be $1,011.88.”

    The boy was very confused because he only bought around 10 items. The clerk then told the boy that he would be paying for his mother's bill as well.

    She really played him good!
    Have we reached the ultimate stage of absurdity where some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, while other people are not held responsible for what they themselves are doing today?

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to TheInterocitor For This Useful Post:

    Benedikt (18-07-2020), Hans.KK (17-07-2020), WhiteLight (23-07-2020)

  3. #107
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    weather is bad indeed, still, once more, again ( though no rain at the moment...)... might as well carry on...


    A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He said, "Explain the kids!"
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Benedikt For This Useful Post:

    TheInterocitor (19-07-2020), WhiteLight (23-07-2020)

  5. #108
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    Last edited by TheInterocitor; 26-07-2020 at 12:18.
    Have we reached the ultimate stage of absurdity where some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, while other people are not held responsible for what they themselves are doing today?

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to TheInterocitor For This Useful Post:

    Benedikt (27-07-2020), Hans.KK (27-07-2020)

  7. #109
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    just got home with the dog in time. it is DARK outside and there will be a great thunderstorm... my clever dog is already under the bed... so i told him the story about a REAL clever dog....

    Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter. “My dog is so smart,” says the first owner, “that every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese, stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed.” “I know,” says the second owner. “How do you know?” the first demands. “My dog told me.” ( thank you Readers Digest...)
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Benedikt For This Useful Post:

    TheInterocitor (27-07-2020)

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