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Thread: Can i exercise paternity rights here?

  1. #1
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    Can i exercise paternity rights here?

    My girl friend delivered a boy a year ago.
    Not exactly planned.
    She went on to deliver despite my initial objection to us having a child.
    I saw the kid ( allowed to see the kid, i should say) when he was six months old.
    I have become very attached to the fellow.
    We do not live together.
    The mother uses her threat of not allowing me to see the boy every time we have an argument. This is getting on my nerves, to put it mildly. She is extremely thick skulled and intransigent.
    I support the kid.

    I am in parallel now trying to find out if i can assert my paternity rights through the local courts. The boy docs bear no mention of my name anywhere.

    Any idea whether this is an option in this country?

  2. #2
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    Russia is a -matriachial- society

    don't know if the spelling is correct, but meaning, the courts are in many if not most cases on the side of the mother.
    except if the mother is a junkie, alcoholic, abuses the kid and the like.
    and not being sarcastic, but who are you? a foreigner,correct me if i am wrong, you are not married, are you working, have an apartment, do you have a residence permit and the like.And after the latest cases of child (adoption) abuse in the USA, any court will be for sure NOT sympathetic towards a foreigner.
    to go to court and fight it will be difficult. apparently there is a good family lawyer around on the site ( she was mentioned as a divorce lawyer but when checking out the site i saw she does family law as well). Katya Kalashnikov...
    good luck to you and your kid!
    and remember, it is the kid(s) who are suffering most in family squabbles.
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaltungo View Post
    My girl friend delivered a boy a year ago.
    Not exactly planned.
    She went on to deliver despite my initial objection to us having a child.
    I saw the kid ( allowed to see the kid, i should say) when he was six months old.
    I have become very attached to the fellow.
    We do not live together.
    The mother uses her threat of not allowing me to see the boy every time we have an argument. This is getting on my nerves, to put it mildly. She is extremely thick skulled and intransigent.
    I support the kid.

    I am in parallel now trying to find out if i can assert my paternity rights through the local courts. The boy docs bear no mention of my name anywhere.

    Any idea whether this is an option in this country?
    Well, as a father, you absolutely DO HAVE your rights and you should fight for it. The first thing you should do is demand a DNA test done - since you are not married, this is the only way to establish the child is actually yours. Now, you may want to talk to her about this, but given what you say here she may not agree to this willingly. In that case you go to court and the court, based on your claim will force her to go through DNA test. Once it is established that the child is in fact biologically yours, you go to court again to sort out your visitation rights.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaltungo View Post
    I support the kid.
    How?

  5. #5
    Lost in moscow is offline Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
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    pretty sure that means he pays child support...gives the mama of his boy money.
    I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lost in moscow View Post
    pretty sure that means he pays child support...gives the mama of his boy money.
    It can mean anything. In the current situation the term "child support" doesn't exist.
    In case he becomes officially the father after DNA test he will be obliged to pay 25% of his income to the mother's pocket.

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    Most probably, the mother of the kid feels crossed with you as you didn't want the kid in the first place. Try not to argue too much and establish a semi-decent contact with the mother. At least.

    As a father, foreigner or not, you got the legal right to visit your son. If you absolutely cannot agree with the mother, seek legal advice. Hayley is right. A DNA test is an option in the worst case scenario.

    Also, once providing the support, try the money transfer, not the cash in hand, as the former is documented.

    As everywhere else, solid documentation is a key if you are to go in a legal battle. You won't get the custody of the kid and I don't think, you would want that either, but really try to get on functioning speaking terms with your ex. At least for your kid's sake.
    "Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Potty View Post
    It can mean anything. In the current situation the term "child support" doesn't exist.
    In case he becomes officially the father after DNA test he will be obliged to pay 25% of his income to the mother's pocket.
    That is only just and fare.

    But, he still got the visitation rights.
    "Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly."

  9. #9
    Lost in moscow is offline Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Potty View Post
    It can mean anything. In the current situation the term "child support" doesn't exist.
    In case he becomes officially the father after DNA test he will be obliged to pay 25% of his income to the mother's pocket.
    Seriously? 25%?! that's a horrid way of calculating it. Apparently the more the father makes, the needier the child is...
    I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus.

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    [QUOTE=Lost in moscow;11662Apparently the more the father makes, the needier the child is...[/QUOTE]
    well it's only one of points of view )

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaltungo View Post
    My girl friend delivered a boy a year ago.
    Not exactly planned.
    She went on to deliver despite my initial objection to us having a child.
    I saw the kid ( allowed to see the kid, i should say) when he was six months old.
    Sorry, sensitive subject, I guess (personal experience and all) but if you're so attached to your son, why talk about your initial objection in this manner? Objection to her having the child rather than an abortion after you made her pregnant? (I assume, you weren't drugged? ) Just doesn't sound good..

    As far as the original question, think it's been answered as best it could be by non-lawyers. I'll repeat anyway Talk to the mother, try to sort it out without the courts - you could sign some sort of an agreement about 'child support'/visits at the notary, if you can't trust her word. In case she objects, tell her you have no choice but to go to the courts as you love your son and want to see as much of him as you can. A DNA test may be required, yes. If you prove to the courts you pay 'child support' regularly (25% here, I think, as has been mentioned), you have the right to see your son regularly as well. It's a hassle, but a hassle worth going through if all else fails. Good luck.
    Go where you are celebrated not tolerated.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lost in moscow View Post
    Seriously? 25%?! that's a horrid way of calculating it. Apparently the more the father makes, the needier the child is...
    The law is in that way, sorry.

    But given the fact that many get one part of there income as "white" (the one they have to pay the 25% from) and an other as "without tax", then it is possibly to "adjust" how much to pay, and fathers do so.

  13. #13
    Lost in moscow is offline Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hans.KK View Post
    The law is in that way, sorry.

    But given the fact that many get one part of there income as "white" (the one they have to pay the 25% from) and an other as "without tax", then it is possibly to "adjust" how much to pay, and fathers do so.
    That's just wrong when looking at both ends of the scale, it's a horrid way to calculate when the father's making say 250+K USD a year, since no child needs over 50K USD a year in financial support to survive. But when considering those who make under 20K USD a year, 5K a year for a child is horrifically low.

    I feel that, maybe it's just me personally, but the budget of the child should be discussed yearly if not at a monthly basis, since a 5 year old's expenses can't be comparable to a 15 year old's. But that's a perfect world scenario...
    I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lost in moscow View Post

    I feel that, maybe it's just me personally, but the budget of the child should be discussed yearly if not at a monthly basis, since a 5 year old's expenses can't be comparable to a 15 year old's. But that's a perfect world scenario...
    I think it's a nice idea. Let the topic starter get a list from the mother with all monthly (yearly) necessary baby stuff and prices (including medical care, apartment costs etc ), and then he will decide whether he needs DNA test or not

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    Quote Originally Posted by natlee View Post
    Sorry, sensitive subject, I guess (personal experience and all) but if you're so attached to your son, why talk about your initial objection in this manner? Objection to her having the child rather than an abortion after you made her pregnant? (I assume, you weren't drugged? ) Just doesn't sound good..

    As far as the original question, think it's been answered as best it could be by non-lawyers. I'll repeat anyway Talk to the mother, try to sort it out without the courts - you could sign some sort of an agreement about 'child support'/visits at the notary, if you can't trust her word. In case she objects, tell her you have no choice but to go to the courts as you love your son and want to see as much of him as you can. A DNA test may be required, yes. If you prove to the courts you pay 'child support' regularly (25% here, I think, as has been mentioned), you have the right to see your son regularly as well. It's a hassle, but a hassle worth going through if all else fails. Good luck.
    In fairness, some men are lead to believe their partner is on birth control, when they are not. If they were only using condoms, well that is not as preventive and he should have considered the risk. In this case, we do not know the situation.
    I do not though think it is right to pressurize someone into an abortion. Conversely, if she lied about being on the pill, she should not expect automatic support, she should have considered her actions.
    It does sound like she is using the child as a bargaining chip.
    Get a DNA test, preferably abroad where she cannot bribe the testing agency.

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