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Miss B
31-05-2004, 19:11
if:
1. You have to think twice about throwing away the empty instant
coffee jar.
2. You carry a plastic shopping bag with you "just in case".
3. You say he/she is "on the meeting".
4. You answer the phone by saying "ah-lo, ah-lo, ah-lo" before giving
the caller a chance to respond.
5. You save table scraps for the pack of wild dogs living in the
courtyard.
6. When crossing the street, you sprint.
7. In winter, you choose your route first by determining which icicles
are least likely to impale you on the head.
8. You are impressed with the new model Lada or Volga.
9. You let the telephone ring at least 3-4 times before you pick it up
because it is probably a mis-connection or electric fault.
10. You hear the radio say it is just at or below freezing outside and
you think it might be nice day for a change.
11. You argue with a taxi driver about a fare of 40 rubles ($1.10) to
go 2-3 miles while it is snowing.
12. You win a shoving match with an old Babuschka for a place in line
and you are proud of it.
13. You hesitate to put on your seat belt to avoid offending the
taxidriver and the impending 5 minute conversation to explain why
you are putting it on.
14. You are pleasantly surprised when there is actually toilet paper
in the bathroom.
15. You look at people's shoes to determine where they are from.
16. You're anxiously concerned because you forgot your "just in case"
disposable hypodermic needle in your other coat.
17. You "automatically" hand in your pepper spray at the door before
going through the metal detector.
18. Your day seems brighter after seeing that goon's Mercedes run into
by a pensioner's "Moskvich".
19. You are thrown off guard when the doorman at the nightclub is
happy to see you.
20. You wonder what the tax inspector really wants when she says
everything is in order.
21. You give a 10% tip only if the waiter has been really
exceptional...meaning he/she smiled or said hello, got up from
thier chair to take your order, got your order right, and the
restaurant actually had what was on the menu.
22. You plan your vacation around those times of the year when they
turn off the hot water.
23. You're offended when your American friend gives you a "dozen"
roses.
24. You don't notice that Sony sticker on the front of your t.v.
25. You are relieved when the guy standing next to you on the bus
actually uses Kleenex.
26. You are envious when your friends door keys fit in their pocket.
27. You ask for no ice in your drink.
28. When you stop using "poshol" as a "to go" verb.
29. When you go mushroom and berry picking out of necessity, not
recreation.
30. When you develop a liking for beets or cabbage.
31. When you eat hot dogs for breakfast.
32. When you drink the brine from empty pickle jars.
33. When you can read bar-codes.
34. When you start shopping for products by their country of
production.
35. When you start to "feel" public transport and bridge opening
schedules.
36. When you know more than 60 Olgas.
37. When it doesn't seem strange to plublicly relieve yourself.
38. When the question... "Would you like fries with that?" has been
replaced by.."Would you like bread with that?".
39. When your soup arrives with mayonaise in it and you like it.
40. When you go to a restaurant and you play with the kitchen cat.
41. When you realize you have eaten an entire plate of meat product
and not questioned its origon.
42. When your internet connection hits 40K and you are excitied
because it hasn't been that high in over a month.
43. When you buy a bottle of Panteen Pro-V and you are shocked when
the shampoo that comes out IS actually Panteen Pro-V.

DPG
31-05-2004, 19:23
44. When you read all of the above and just go "hmmmm".

[Like I just did - damn it!!:)]

rosieredwood
31-05-2004, 19:26
...for several years now, but is still rather entertaining and insightful.

The brine, proper brine - not the vinegar from "marinated" pickles/gerkins - does wonders for hangovers. It's brilliant.

I was in Helsinki recently, and Finns too carry around extra plastic bags - it's a European conservation thing.

kak
31-05-2004, 19:31
8. You are impressed with the new model Lada or Volga.

i just picked up one... but this post made me smile a lot ;)

DPG
31-05-2004, 20:34
Kakrout - Which did you buy?? Volga or Lada?? Hope it has a heated rear-windscreen for when you have to push it down the road!!

DPG
31-05-2004, 20:41
You look at people's shoes to determine where they are from.

It's amazing how often it's accurate, isn't it!!

Your day seems brighter after seeing that goon's Mercedes run into by a pensioner's "Moskvich".

Haven't seen it yet and I'm not planning on leaving Russia until I do!!:p

When your soup arrives with mayonaise in it and you like it.

NEVER! I here-by give permission for anyone dining with me to shoot me on the spot if I should do this!

When you can read bar-codes.

A skill developed within 5 minutes of taking that packet of bacon to the checkout after a few months here and nearly fainting as the price of about $25 came up on the till!!:eek:

Miss B
31-05-2004, 20:43
:)

DPG
31-05-2004, 20:43
Should I change my signature??;)

kak
31-05-2004, 20:53
Originally posted by DPG
Kakrout - Which did you buy?? Volga or Lada?? Hope it has a heated rear-windscreen for when you have to push it down the road!!

mmm i think i made an error while writing my comment i wanted to say that i have picked up a sentence from beauty's post, not a lada or volga ;) this will never happen my friend ;)

Miss B
31-05-2004, 20:53
Originally posted by DPG
Should I change my signature??;)
oh please don't
otherwise no one will understand why I posted it
:D :D :D

Viagra Girl
31-05-2004, 21:27
Originally posted by DPG
Should I change my signature??;) :D

gadfly
31-05-2004, 21:28
Three words - "Say to me"

Viagra Girl
31-05-2004, 21:30
Dear ppl,
I don`t do at least a half of the above... Does it mean that I live in Moscow for too long?

gadfly
31-05-2004, 21:32
Your day seems brighter after seeing that goon's Mercedes run into by a pensioner's "Moskvich".

Haven't seen it yet and I'm not planning on leaving Russia until I do!!:p


I was content to watch a police cruiser chase down a 600-series for using its 'blue light special' to ignore basic traffic laws.

DPG
01-06-2004, 01:09
Originally posted by beauty
oh please don't
otherwise no one will understand why I posted it
:D :D :D

OK, at least not until this thread is nearer the bottom of the page...I'm getting bored of this signature and need to change it. I am however rather flattered that you found a picture which goes with it!!;)


Girlwithacat - If you don't yet do half of them it means that you haven't been here long enough...


Kakrout - Mate, I'm glad that you say you haven't bought one, was getting worried about you there!!:)

zerkalo
02-06-2004, 17:24
Here's one for Poika!

You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.
It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00.
Your front door step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
You think it's normal that 22 year olds need fake ID
When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a. he is drunk
b. he is insane
c. he is American
d. he is all of the above
You don't think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry.
A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer "Oh, I'm going to Europe!" meaning any other Western European country outside Scandinavia.
You no longer scrunch up or fold your paper money. You always put your money in your wallet.
Silence is fun.
The reason you take the ferry to Stockholm is:
a. duty free vodka
b. duty free beer
c. to party...no need to get off the boat in Stockholm;
just turn around and do it again on the way back.
d. all of the above
Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than 10 scoops per pot.
You pass a grocery store and think "Wow, it is open, I had better go in an buy something!"
Your native language has seriously deteriorated; you begin to "eat medicine", "open the television", "close the lights off", and tell someone "you needn't to!" Expressions like "Don't panic" creep into your everyday language.
You associate pea soup with Thursday.
Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no WALK symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.
Your notion of streetlife is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of Helsinki railway station on Friday nights.
Your bad mood becomes your good mood.
Sundays no longer seem dull with all the stores closed, and begin to feel restful instead.
"No comment" becomes a conversation strategy.
You finally stop asking your class "Are there any questions?"
The fact that all of the "v's" and the "w's" are together in the phone directory seems right.
Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.
Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.
You begin to understand Jussi Jyylanpaarvi's broadcast of the hockey game.
You refuse to wear a hat, even in -30 degree weather.
You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:
a. they are drunk
b. they are Swedish-speaking
c. they are American.
You give up on trying to find fat-free food and pile on the butter, cream and sugar.
You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.
You eat herring in 105 ways.
You no longer look at sports pants as casual wear, but recognise them as semi-formal wear.
You can now reconstruct the missing letters on a building. For example MERI.........LIITTO OY.
You have undergone a transformation:
a. you accept mustamakkara (Black-blood sausage) as food
b. you accept alcohol as food
c. you accept.
You understand why the Finnish language has no future tense.
You no longer have to search for the flushing mechanism on the toilet.
You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with loafers.
You no longer correct people who say MAC Donald's.
You just love Jaffa.
You've come to expect Sunday morning sidewalk vomit dodging.
You know that "I got a new boyfriend." means "I got laid last night."
The next day when they say "We broke up." you know it means " He didn't call."
You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed."
You enjoy salmiakki.
You know that "mens public bathroom" is another phrase for sidewalk.
You know that more than three channels means cable.
You get all the Swedish jokes.
When you're hungry you can peel a boiled potato like lightning.
You've become lactose intolerant.
You accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking hot.
You don't think twice about wearing sandals indoors and Wellington's outside.
You stand in a bus if you can't find a vacant pair of seats.
Finland winning a medal at the world hockey championships is less important than beating Tre Kronor.
You pass the point of spending more than 50% of your salary on phone calls and alcohol.
The only couple talking in a tram or a bus always seems to annoy you.
You refuse to cross a totally empty street until there is a green light.
You are immediately suspicious when somebody starts talking to you in the street.
You no longer have a problem accepting money from someone bumming a cigarette.
You seriously consider visiting the sauna more than three times a week.
You're training for Vasaloppet.
YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIVE ANYWHERE BUT IN FINLAND!!!!

Polia Ivanova
02-06-2004, 18:07
http://www.bratok.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7141&highlight=%EF%F0%EE%E6%E8%EB%E8

In Russian this one.

That is the one where Russians in England discuss the same, like you live here long enough if you started to roll your own cigarettes and your favourite dish is boiled carrotts.
I think the one from France says that they make a brew with hot tap water (Do they really?)

Viagra Girl
06-06-2004, 01:33
...
Originally posted by zerkalo
Here's one for Poika!

You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.
It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00.
Your front door step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
You think it's normal that 22 year olds need fake ID
When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a. he is drunk
b. he is insane
c. he is American
d. he is all of the above
You don't think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry.
A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer "Oh, I'm going to Europe!" meaning any other Western European country outside Scandinavia.
You no longer scrunch up or fold your paper money. You always put your money in your wallet.
Silence is fun.
The reason you take the ferry to Stockholm is:
a. duty free vodka
b. duty free beer
c. to party...no need to get off the boat in Stockholm;
just turn around and do it again on the way back.
d. all of the above
Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than 10 scoops per pot.
You pass a grocery store and think "Wow, it is open, I had better go in an buy something!"
Your native language has seriously deteriorated; you begin to "eat medicine", "open the television", "close the lights off", and tell someone "you needn't to!" Expressions like "Don't panic" creep into your everyday language.
You associate pea soup with Thursday.
Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no WALK symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.
Your notion of streetlife is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of Helsinki railway station on Friday nights.
Your bad mood becomes your good mood.
Sundays no longer seem dull with all the stores closed, and begin to feel restful instead.
"No comment" becomes a conversation strategy.
You finally stop asking your class "Are there any questions?"
The fact that all of the "v's" and the "w's" are together in the phone directory seems right.
Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.
Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.
You begin to understand Jussi Jyylanpaarvi's broadcast of the hockey game.
You refuse to wear a hat, even in -30 degree weather.
You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:
a. they are drunk
b. they are Swedish-speaking
c. they are American.
You give up on trying to find fat-free food and pile on the butter, cream and sugar.
You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.
You eat herring in 105 ways.
...
YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIVE ANYWHERE BUT IN FINLAND!!!!
Except the last one...
Oh dear!!! I`ve never thought I am Finn!!! 100 % Finn!!!:eek: