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peyote
31-05-2004, 16:32
kakrout! that thing for your american friends was a bad joke, buddy! i'm taking my freedom fries somewhere else! :mad:

alright. i wanted to say after meeting some of the enemies and seeing they are cool i have decided to publicly apologise for my anti-american ramblings: i have seen we can share the same mind numbing music. i said music! ok? so it's not you, my fellow american, working class hero, it's your government and its gifted grace for pissing me off. mind you, like all governments... but yours, what a coincidence, is best. probably related to this thing about being the best in the world, right?

to the point: now i support the war, liberation and bringing the blessing of democracy to iraq. i applaud those who understood all this from the very beginning since i have to acknowledge i did not. i would like to recommend those who stand against us raising peace signs and picking on mr. george w. bush's grammar abilities to give peace... a second thought!

i have been born again! gimme a gun! :mad:

Fa-Q!
31-05-2004, 16:34
Easy, killer! Guess it's time to fire one up and throw on some John Lennon and Yoko Ono songs...

sfjohns67
31-05-2004, 16:46
Dear Che/Pedro/Hector/Manuel,

I am writing to express my extreme gratitude for your kind correspondence and to accept the humble apology you made therein. It is so nice when non-Americans demonstrate forthrightly that not all third-world countries are bastions of illiteracy and inbreeding. I am especially happy that our respective countrymen share similar tastes in music; some of my office staff asked me to pass along their particular thanks to you and yours for that great "La Cucaracha" song they love to hum whenever they want to annoy "the boss" when he's working weekends.

Regarding the war in Iraq and its many blessings, I can only say that perhaps someday your country, too, will be given the opportunity to slip the yoke of its tyrannical leadership and join the fold of those who are free to eat at McDonalds, drive gas-guzzling SUV's, and laugh at the rest of the world from atop the pinnacle of wealth. After all, inside every Communist is a good American struggling to get out.

In closing, please accept my warmest regards and support of your never-ending search for hot water and softer toilet tissue. If I can ever be of assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours truly,
G.W. Bush

PS: Do you have any sisters? Laura and I are looking for somebody to do some light housekeeping in exchange for a Green Card.

Ghost
31-05-2004, 17:01
Haha! Awesome, SF...

peyote
31-05-2004, 17:02
LOL
easy soldier!
i can see that besides music, we share humor. i'm glad to acknowledge that... must be the relaxness of chemical warfare... ;)

sweet home alabama
where the skies are so blue
sweet home alabama
lord i'm coming home to you...

here i come! alabama!

much better than la cucaracha... ;)

rosieredwood
31-05-2004, 17:04
Originally posted by sfjohns67
Dear Che/Pedro/Hector/Manuel,

I am writing to express my extreme gratitude for your kind correspondence and to accept the humble apology you made therein. It is so nice when non-Americans demonstrate forthrightly that not all third-world countries are bastions of illiteracy and inbreeding. I am especially happy that our respective countrymen share similar tastes in music; some of my office staff asked me to pass along their particular thanks to you and yours for that great "La Cucaracha" song they love to hum whenever they want to annoy "the boss" when he's working weekends.

Regarding the war in Iraq and its many blessings, I can only say that perhaps someday your country, too, will be given the opportunity to slip the yoke of its tyrannical leadership and join the fold of those who are free to eat at McDonalds, drive gas-guzzling SUV's, and laugh at the rest of the world from atop the pinnacle of wealth. After all, inside every Communist is a good American struggling to get out.

In closing, please accept my warmest regards and support of your never-ending search for hot water and softer toilet tissue. If I can ever be of assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours truly,
G.W. Bush

PS: Do you have any sisters? Laura and I are looking for somebody to do some light housekeeping in exchange for a Green Card.

Far too coherent and concise for GWB's prose.

sfjohns67
31-05-2004, 17:06
Originally posted by peyote
LOL
easy soldier!
i can see that besides music, we share humor. i'm glad to acknowledge that... must be the relaxness of chemical warfare... ;)

sweet home alabama
where the skies are so blue
sweet home alabama
lord i'm coming home to you...

here i come! alabama!

much better than la cucaracha... ;) Yes 'tis much better, and even nicer to know you appreciate skynyrd. Good on ya!

peyote
31-05-2004, 17:12
Originally posted by sfjohns67
Yes 'tis much better, and even nicer to know you appreciate skynyrd. Good on ya! ah! big fan, my friend, big fan!
the booze is on me next time we meet... ;)

rosieredwood
31-05-2004, 17:33
I can't rid myself of the image of Forrest Gump "dancing" to this tune with Jenny Curran in the parlour of his former slave estate in "Green-bo, Al-a-bam-a!"

koba65
31-05-2004, 17:57
Their is know weigh that war a reel letter - they're wasn't any mistakes in the leter. This is some sourt of frad. Doesn't trust him Peyote. He is certunly some kind of evil-doer...

boscoe
01-06-2004, 02:10
I would love to respond to your post SFJhons, but frankly, as a humble servant of her majesty I am far too ‘literati’ to imagine you would understand my prose…. Keep on trying though we think it’s quaint ;)

DPG
01-06-2004, 02:21
Originally posted by boscoe
I would love to respond to your post SFJhons, but frankly, as a humble servant of her majesty I am far too ‘literati’ to imagine you would understand my prose…. Keep on trying though we think it’s quaint ;)

Sir Boscoe, fellow servant of her majesty:

It behoves one to at once love, repsect and admire the way that "literati" and spelling the American chap's name incorrectly combine to exemplary and powerful effect in one's post to resolutely prove (irrevocably), that we humble servants of the throne of England are indeed standing upon that pinnacle to which our cousin of the former-colony referred in his muse...if in nothing but from a literary and linguistic standpoint!!;)

I am sir your humble(d) servant,

DPG

boscoe
01-06-2004, 02:44
As I am sure you will agree sir DPG, the misspelling a colonial’s name is so inconsequential that it is hardly worth mentioning as a ‘faux pas’ amongst gentlemen.

DPG
01-06-2004, 02:51
Sir Boscoe, I most certainly do agree with you sir.

After all, they are but a rather backward nation, still playing cowboys and indians from what one hears from one's connections in the Foreign Office.

Any nation which refuses to embrace cricket as it's national sport, even after hearing of the numerous gentlemanly traits of this most graceful of games, does rather have to have some somewhat serious questions asked of it.

Whatever next? Putting pay to afternoon tea and scones? No pictures of the Queen in offices??

There is serious work to be done my lord Boscoe, and this is only the beginning...

By the way, will Lady DPG and I be seeing Lady Boscoe and your noble self for refreshments in our marquee at Henley as usual this summer?? We should be delighted to receive you.

boscoe
01-06-2004, 03:07
Sir DPG, one would be honoured to accept your most gracious invitation to Henly. As for the colonials it saddens me to say, but I fear it may be a battle lost… to use a rather vulgar, but apt, expression I purloined from the help… “how ever hard you try, you just can’t polish sh*t.”

DPG
01-06-2004, 03:13
Hmmm, you might well be right in your most gloomy of predictions my lord, one is of the most definite opinion that this form of revolution must be quashed with blistering pace and unrelenting exactitude starting at the nearest time the troops can be rallied (after the changing of the guard, tea and the final test at Lord's on Friday I should imagine) or else it could spell the beginning of the end for the British empire and all her dominions.

Where would you and I be if that were to happen? Defrocked I shouldn't wonder, stately homes and country seats removed after centuries.

No sir, I shall not allow it to happen, not until my dying breath and that of all my men, and indeed the empire itself.

boscoe
01-06-2004, 03:30
Lord DPG!!! How can you utter such blasphemy? End of the empire… never Sir!... I say never could such a calamity happen… even the untutored colonials know that that would spell an end to civilisation and development for the entire world!

… Could they be THAT short sighted and absurd, to think... no…not even THEY could be... no...I cannot stomach even the thought!

DPG
01-06-2004, 03:47
I must apologise with some haste for my remarks methinks Lord Boscoe.

That dreaded gout induced by that mammoth port-swilling session last summer where I, along with your noble self, Lord Cairstairs-Smythe of Norfolk and the Earl St John-De la Cour-Fotherington of Staffordshire polished off 7 cases of 1892 vintage Cockburns tawny is playing up at the moment, not to mention the fact that one just seemingly isn't able to hire anywhere near decent man servants these days.

All together it makes one's life far from easy and even further from harbouring the peace, luxury and comfort that should be afforded to an aristocrat and peer of the realm.

The servant situation is perfectly outragous. Why just today at high-tea, my butler no less, remarked to me that the cellars have not been cleaned by the head winekeeper for some months now, and that some of the 19th century Bordeaux magnums are beginning to show signs of possible corkage - right ahead of the conference of colonial nations (which as well as playing co-host to, you well know is being held at Brannington Manor). Being rendered unable to provide the correct service and refreshment to guests as distinguished as those who shall attend, could prove simply disasterous for our collective reputations.

I should think that these assorted stresses were the reason behind my rather less that patriotic remarks in our earlier corresponance.

I shall seek council with the Rt Hon Prime Minister, the minister of defence and the Queen at the earliest opportunity to enquire as to whether some re-inforcements can be arranged for the most troublesome and independantly-thinking colonials, just so that we feel we are in no danger tomorrow at the polo match between the Buckinghamshire constabularly and the Herefordshire Regiment afoot.

Please disregard all thought of our empire ever seeing it's sunset Lord Boscoe, it is after all the largest in world history, not even that of those cunning Romans spanned the 30 percent of the globe that ours has reached.

God save the queen and the empire she shall rule forever!!

J.D.
01-06-2004, 07:16
Hey Boscoe, did you ever stop to think just what that sh*t was that YOUR servants were trying to polish?

kniga
01-06-2004, 08:00
DPG,

Ah, yes, the superiority of your knowlege of the "real" English language is certainly demonstrated with your quaint spelling of "repsect," which in a single self-inflicted blow you have destroyed the claim made in your retort.

Boscoe,

Unless you have a dual personality, the proper form of "literati" you should have used when referring to yourself would be "literatus". But then, your claim to superior knowlege of English is equally as bogus as DPG's.

sfjohns67
01-06-2004, 08:39
How 'bout you two bluenosed twinkies try this on for size and literary merit (vernacular intact): eet mah shorts!

boscoe
01-06-2004, 11:03
:)

Innosranets
01-06-2004, 11:23
Wankers

boscoe
01-06-2004, 11:36
peeping tom!

:)

DPG
01-06-2004, 12:48
Boscoe - What was it we were always saying about "them" just not getting "us"!?!;)

Kniga - It was at about 3 in the morning - and I was reeeeaaaallly tired!!:shame:

Innosranets - You said 'wanker' hehehehehe!!:)

boscoe
01-06-2004, 12:58
colonials... tish!

:)

boscoe
01-06-2004, 13:04
BTW Kniga, 'knowlege' has a 'D' in it (no reference intended to the final grades you attained during your education) ;)

J.D.
01-06-2004, 13:31
colonials... tish!


Shhh . . .
Do want the Russians to know that we are not really expats and to figure out what we are really doing here?

Innosranets
01-06-2004, 13:58
J.D., you're the last person I expected to see in this thread !

DPG
01-06-2004, 18:57
LOL!!!

peyote
01-06-2004, 19:05
LOL

can't believe this shit is still going on!

DPG
01-06-2004, 19:07
I can't bloody believe that it wasn't all taken in the humourous, tongue-in-cheek manner it was intended!!

kniga
01-06-2004, 21:46
Knowledge is power...guess my ran out! :-)