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plastique
27-05-2004, 09:38
can anyone help advise how they got over a really bad time where it seems that everything crashes around you all at once...that has been my past few days... the only bright spot is that i have great friends....YEA... and i already know boscoe...get pissed...

Ghost
27-05-2004, 09:43
For me, I slow down, take a day off where I do nothing but walk and think. I redevelop a game plan of goals and what I want in life. Refocus. Examine what went wrong, how it went wrong and what - about me - caused it to go wrong. Admit my own failures and weaknesses that cause this stuff to happen to me. I ask myself if this situation looks familiar because it's happened before. If it has, then I examine myself further to determine what I do that causes it.

I don't know what's going on in your life, Plastique, but if everything has come crashing down on you, then you - in this humble Ghost's opinion - need a day of reckoning and understanding. A personal one where you don't deal with anyone but you.

That's what I'd do.

sfjohns67
27-05-2004, 09:45
I'd say you hit the nail on the head all by yourself - your friends. You're more than welcome to come out this weekend and join me and my family for a nice long walk in Kuskovo Park, followed by shashlik and beer at an outdoor cafe there, more walking, then more (lots) beer by the side of the lake as we all watch the sun go down. If basking in the presence of my charming and beautiful daughter doesn't cheer you up, not to mention proximity to my own glowing wonderfulness, then your problems are, indeed, seriouser than both our abilities.

Ledka
27-05-2004, 09:48
I do think friends r those who help us to go through bad times. Katrina, I am sure that u r very strong and u will survive. It's neither ur first nor last time when you feel bad and think that it's the end of the universe. God sends us sufferings in order to value the happiness he has in store for us. Never say die! soon you will forget it as a nightmare.

Remember, problems make us STRONGER!

If you will need my help you know that you can always rely on me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just give me a call!

plastique
27-05-2004, 09:53
thanks ghost, but i keep getting assured it is nothing i have done, and dwelling on it makes me more upset, but i really see the validity in your point...

as always love you ledka, and may take you upon that sf...

Moscow Wolf
27-05-2004, 10:04
Reckon you have to identify what is getting you down in the first place. Like you say drinking only suppresses the problem it doesn't identify the route cause. If you can identify the problem then you are more than half way of finding the cure.

Write it all down on a piece of paper, the things you reckon that get you down, when you've done that come back to me and I'll tell you the next stage. I'm just too pi$$ed to write anymore now!

Alethea
27-05-2004, 10:12
Originally posted by Moscow Wolf

Write it all down on a piece of paper, the things you reckon that get you down, when you've done that come back to me and I'll tell you the next stage.

plastique,

it's a good thing to do.

I do it quite often, especially when I'm angry with someone .

I write a *hate* letter to this person and then burn it down. It helps to relieve frustration without confronting my opponent.

writing down your problems will help you to be more assertive.

Sadie
27-05-2004, 10:49
Originally posted by plastique
i keep getting assured it is nothing i have done, and dwelling on it makes me more upset

It happens too. When you are not the reason of all the troubles going on with you in the first place, then perhaps you are not able to improve things. Just leave it. Things will work out this or that way. What you need is a replacement of this smth, missing in your life, distraction. I personally find it in my work, unless your problems are not connected with work. Just sink into work or something else that brings positive into people’s lives. This at least brings you a feeling of satisfaction and inner strength. Friend’s support is priceless, don’t stay alone these days. But after all, it will be only you to make the necessary decisions. And whatever it is, just remember that everything goes. Like my parachute jumping instructor said: “Nobody stays in the air” :).

And this is my Aguilera’s fav song, though it’s more about personal problems of course but still very true in many situations:

it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter.

;)

Alethea
27-05-2004, 10:50
and I would add to Sadie''s post :

You can be as strong as you wish to be.

polly
27-05-2004, 11:38
sometimes taking a long walk all over really helps to get my mind off the poo and enjoy a nice day outside. stop in shops when you feel like it, go whichever direction you feel like.
i agree you gotta lean on your friends, but personally for me, it really helps just to get outside with no particular "goal" for however many hours and really separate myself from what's getting me down.
hope you're feeling better soon =)

Ignia
27-05-2004, 12:35
Yes, taking a walk is really helpful. Whem I feel like breaking down I take my walkman and as mush music as I can, switch my mobile into 'silent' mode and just go out. My fav is Bitsevskiy Park and the center of Moscow inside the Garden Ring. Some hours alone - and I am ready to fight again :)

Plastique, take care!

Vanilla
27-05-2004, 12:39
I guess universal remedy doesn’t exist here. IT is your personal hell and only yourself can handle it. First of all stop thinking and looking for a reason – it seldom exists. Keep yourself busy: sport, friends, vacations, clubs, work – make your life hectic for a while and when you return to your normal self – all your worries won’t matter any longer. And cheer up, whatever it was – now it is history.

Ghost
27-05-2004, 12:41
Or go dancing! It's a great stress relief and you can get lost in the music - or a good dance partner. :)

Vanilla
27-05-2004, 12:50
Dancing is really good. Boozing, dancing. It won’t make you happy, but … I donno may be wanted. When I feel lousy I always escape to clubs, all these happy – laughing – dancing – good looking people make me think that the only place where my problems exist – it is only my head. And in the morning the sun is shining again.

Thing-Fish
27-05-2004, 13:45
Never underestimate the power of offensive music, cranked to the point where your stereo starts to smell, while singing along -- out of tune, preferably -- at the top of your lungs. Guaranteed improvers of mood include (in no particular order):

1) NWA -- anything from Straight Outta Compton is good but nothing beats "**** Da Police."

2) Bloodhound Gang -- "I Hope You Die." If you aren't laughing and feeling better by the end of this one, seek medical help.

3) Anything by Rammstein -- "Hier kommt die Whateverthe****iskommting." Who cares what these guys are singing? Remember that the Krauts INVENTED the word ANGST. Just close your eyes and imagine the piles of burning books and you'll feel at peace. Einsturzende Neubauten is also good in a pinch -- no real words but the finest German mental illness set to music money can buy.

4) Zappa (of course). If you're too squeamish for the imagery in "Broken Hearts Are For Assholes", "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?", or "The Illinois Enema Bandit", try "Man From Nowhere", "Titties And Beer", or "Stick It Out" (which, as with Rammstein, has the added advantage of being in German). Stay away from "Watermelon In Easter Hay", arguably the most beautiful guitar solo ever written, unless you want to cry harder or (worse) become completely converted to Zappaphilia (not a bad fate actually). If all you are looking for is music and not words, march along to "Peaches En Regalia" -- the tune will stick to you and put a smile on your face all the time.

5) Anything by the Meat Men, Big Black, the Plasmatics or the Pajama Slave Dancers, if you can find them. If not, Dead Kennedys' "2 Drunk 2 ****" might be just what you're looking for.

6) The Who, but be careful. If Townshend is singing, it will be too soft, and most albums have one or two sad songs. Look for anything Entwhistle wrote ("My Wife") or anything Daltrey sings where the word "love" or "rain" do not appear ("Dr. Jimmy and Mr. Jim" being your best bet, since the word "****" is used a lot and there are a lot of references to violence, sex, violent sex, and sexy violence, all of which are very therapeutic.)

7) Talking Heads' "Burning Down The House." Kickass music about fire and mayhem. What more could you ask for?

8) Al Stewart: four songs off of Indian Summer -- "Here In Angola," "Running Man," "Roads to Moscow" and "Nostradamus" Not really obnoxious but the first two are great for Tom Cruise-style home-underwear-aerobics and the last two will make your hair stand on end they are so damned good lyrically.

9) Warren Zevon's entire Excitable Boy album.

10) Randy Newman's Trouble In Paradise Album: "Christmas In Cape Town," "My Life Is Good," "I Love LA," "Miami," and "There's A Party Going On At My Place."


Stay away from heroin-inspired music (too sad), disco (which is unacceptable simply because it is disco), or music by out-of-the-closet homosexuals and Ricky Martin (too good to be really obnoxious). Strong bass lines are preferable as a general rule to fancy guitar solos, and don't go in for keyboards unless the elegance of the piano player is outshadowed by the antisocial venom of the lyrics. Remember -- if your Russian neighbors don't understand or are not offended by the lyrics YOU'RE JUST NOT PLAYING IT LOUD ENOUGH.

jheisel
27-05-2004, 13:55
I second the Big Black, and can loan you the brilliant "Songs About ****ing" if you need it. Also, Shellac is very good for this purpose, particularly "Prayer to God" or whatever the first track on their last album is called.

Kshisya
27-05-2004, 14:12
Plastique, dear, don't take your problems too close to heart and spend some time by yourself for calming your heart down and understanding what you really want. Share your thoughts with close friends but don't throw yourself around as even if friends are really a good and essential in bad time, you are the only one who can get yourself back to your normal ((((KISS))))
Have temporary obstacles been blocking your way? This is not always a bad thing. Obstacles, difficulties and even setbacks which are eventually overcome often become assets. ;)'

The obstacles you have are not permanent, yet okAY they are in the way. However, temporary obstacles must be seen for what they are -TEMPORaRY - and should not be allowed to take on too much significance.

There is nothing that a person couldn't overcome in this life but death. You are strong enough to go through bad times without destroying yourself for the better of good times;)

A positive aspect of even the most difficult obstacle is that it may cause you to turn inward, and gain greater depth and character. Through this type of introspection, obstacles become a means for personal growth and self-listening :)

Try not to be overly concerned. Think bout the aspects of you that had been neglected, sacrificed, sublimated, destroyed, lost or simply undiscovered. Restore them, love yourself MORE! :)

Spend some good time with your best friends, collective endeavor provides extra energy when there are too many things going on at one time :)

You should outgrow 'victim consciousness. Learn to look out for yourself. We all have a vulnerable side that can be intimidated. In the best of all worlds we would not get bruised and discouraged so easily. In truth, however, it sometimes takes a setback to teach us to be more alert to troubles. Things are not as simple as they seem, however they are not that complicated as well. Once you appreciate this, you can gain strength even from a painful experience.

However, remember hon one advice - the less dependent you are, the less vulnerable you are.
NO way loose confidence in yourself -you are such a lovely!:gorgeous: Cute! And cool personality! Don't look for any confirmation of that from other ppl! You should just know it and go on! You'll get relationship and a man you deserve one day! Don't ever question that and be patient :)

Reduce your risks and exposure to the possible negative effects of others. Stick to YOUR ppl ;)

VSJO budet KHOROSHO! :inlove:

sfjohns67
27-05-2004, 14:44
Originally posted by jheisel
I second the Big Black, and can loan you the brilliant "Songs About ****ing" if you need it. Also, Shellac is very good for this purpose, particularly "Prayer to God" or whatever the first track on their last album is called. I'll pay you $10 and a couple of beers next time we're out if you'll burn me a copy of BB/SAF. Helldamfire, I'm just happy knowing I'm not the only one who ever heard of them!

jheisel
27-05-2004, 14:46
Dude, just the beers is fine...I'll try to take care of it this weekend. Unfortunately, the rest of my Big Black albums are on vinyl and thus in a closet at my parents' house in the US. Have any interest in Shellac (Albini post-Big Black)? I've got two of their albums too...

Thing-Fish
27-05-2004, 15:27
Originally posted by sfjohns67
I'll pay you $10 and a couple of beers next time we're out if you'll burn me a copy of BB/SAF. Helldamfire, I'm just happy knowing I'm not the only one who ever heard of them!

Dude, I'm from Massachusetts. If it rocks, I've definitely heard it, probably learned it, and quite likely spraypainted it on the side of a railroad bridge.

Penguin Snacks
27-05-2004, 19:42
Do people from Massachusetts say Dude?

earl
27-05-2004, 19:48
Plastique,

Hope you're doing better. My little bit of home calls what you need a mental health day. You should take one.

And there is a nice park right across the street from MSU. Lots of trees, fairly quiet except for mothers and their babies in strollers, blue (why blue?) benches, and lots of dandelions. The Universityet station, turn left towards MSU, school on your left, circus on right, walk 0.5k, cross street away from the cast iron fence surrounding the school, relax!

Poika
27-05-2004, 19:49
I am from Helsinki! I say Terve!

Jet
28-05-2004, 09:37
Plastique, I think you a have a great warm personality. You are very good at what you do, I have witnessed how efficient you were in gathering expats for the film shoot. I also saw some pictures of your work in the film - it was great!

Do you know that because of you, some people have touched their dreams? I really enjoyed my time on the movie set. DJ Biscuit had an opportunity to remember his good old days as an actor and he was very good on the movie set. Now his going further on this path. Giyom (don't know how to spell his name right) was able to find some work thanks to the film shoot. Anyway, thanks for everything! :)

plastique
28-05-2004, 15:25
thanks guys for everything and i am feeling a bit better now... i am concentrating everything on healing and finding a job. i need to throw myself into something. the best piece of advice i have heard is when you are at the end of the rope, let go and enjoy. this is a very scary time, frustrating, nervous etc..but not all of those things are bad as i am coming to realize....and jet li, you almost made me cry, but in a good way...this is like a "it's a wonderful life" moment. you guys are the best....

sfjohns67
28-05-2004, 15:33
It's just cuz we love you, sweetness!

Ledka
28-05-2004, 15:33
Originally posted by plastique
thanks guys for everything and i am feeling a bit better now... i am concentrating everything on healing and finding a job. i need to throw myself into something. the best piece of advice i have heard is when you are at the end of the rope, let go and enjoy. this is a very scary time, frustrating, nervous etc..but not all of those things are bad as i am coming to realize....and jet li, you almost made me cry, but in a good way...this is like a "it's a wonderful life" moment. you guys are the best....

Will u come tonight to "Kult"?

plastique
28-05-2004, 16:02
have a bbq at the embassy first but will try to make it. if the party moves can someone call me????

Ledka
28-05-2004, 16:10
Originally posted by plastique
have a bbq at the embassy first but will try to make it. if the party moves can someone call me????
ok, I'll sms u in that case

Thing-Fish
31-05-2004, 11:31
Originally posted by Penguin Snacks
Do people from Massachusetts say Dude?

Ayuh, but only in the beginning of the sentence Just like we only say "hey" at the end of practically sentence, hey. (Kind of like the Canadian habit of putting "eh" there, only we aspirate to force us to breathe in before starting the next sentence, otherwise we'd probably asphyxiate while talking.) Other words that we have basically invented, such as "wicked," "pisser," and "packy," may be found anywhere in a sentence, but are usually found at least once.

Thing-Fish
31-05-2004, 11:33
Originally posted by Poika
I am from Helsinki! I say Terve!

Massachusetts Suomesse-to?

Penguin Snacks
31-05-2004, 12:16
Thing-Fish

Good response. I used to live in Massachusetts. I remember 'wicked' was popular.

If you like Big Black check out English band, Yourcodenameismilo: All Roads to Fault. Produced by Steve Albini. It rocks!

gadfly
31-05-2004, 15:08
I've always resorted to these standard approaches:

1. Whining about it.

2. Hiding at home behind my computer and refusing to pay my mobile bill so nobody can call me.

3. Taking lots of naps.



Originally posted by plastique
can anyone help advise how they got over a really bad time where it seems that everything crashes around you all at once...that has been my past few days... the only bright spot is that i have great friends....YEA... and i already know boscoe...get pissed...

DJ Biscuit
31-05-2004, 15:19
I am pretty good at the feeling sorry for myself, moping about bit, and yes sleeping is good, always is. Then the greatest thing is after a particular period of listening to sad 'appropriate' songs, winging and feeling sorry for yourself you come out of it, suddenly, feeling fresh, new, reinvented and ready for everything and anything.

gadfly
31-05-2004, 15:27
By 'appropriate,' would you mean The Smiths or Mahler?

jheisel
31-05-2004, 15:35
Red House Painters works as well

DJ Biscuit
31-05-2004, 15:50
Originally posted by gadfly
By 'appropriate,' would you mean The Smiths or Mahler?

Joy Division