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DPG
14-04-2004, 17:51
...treads on my shoes, walks slowly in front of me, knocks my legs with huge bags packed with empty beer bottles, suddenly stops with no warning, procrastinates so much upon getting on/off the metro that it stops me getting on/off, decides to change direction with no warning causing me to walk into them or walks into me without even seemingly noticing...

...I will be forced to retaliate in the swiftest and most brutal manner musterable. I realise that I am heavily outnumbered but I have anger and insanity on my side and I will take at least 12 million of you with me!

Thank you for your time [resists urge to scream in frustration]

DPG

[Ok, urge too much...screeeeaaaaaammmmmsssss]

sevan
14-04-2004, 17:56
maybe you should pay better attention to where you are going! ;) :p

allice
14-04-2004, 18:00
[holding DPG's arm]

I used to feel the same until I went through intensive therapy with Dr. Limitchik. He is quite an expert on the pshycological problems which could result from the use public transport in the city of Moscow. I suggest you take timely action, brother. Before it's too late. :D

lochnessmonster
14-04-2004, 18:24
Mate, you forgot to mention making eleven missed calls and my sleeping through all of them - sorry chief.

CaliforniaAngel
14-04-2004, 18:25
I feel your pain.

DJ Biscuit
14-04-2004, 18:43
Me too. Sometimes violent urges take over, and the urge to be as ignorant as the rest.

Get yourself a drink. According to your comments on me in another thread then I probably owe you one for my alleged 'spying' :D

I did a smiley!

CaliforniaAngel
14-04-2004, 18:46
Ok, if you show up friday, come buy me a drink. ;)

Random
14-04-2004, 18:52
What I do is go home. Pour myself a healthy measure of malt whisky and sit in the peace and quiet of my flat.

Raise the glass to everyone and say to hell with em !!!

DaveUKagain
14-04-2004, 19:28
DPG, you`ve just hit on my pet hate there. ;-)))) I reckon I should be armed with a Japanese katana and given the right of "killing and going away" - usually offered to *hatamoto* (high borne) samurai - anyone stops dead in front of me in the Arndale Centre to gawp in a shop window, I just lop their head off and continue on for a cup of sake and some terse haiku. You KNOW it makes sense..... :D

ZANUDA
14-04-2004, 19:32
Stop lights and indicators are to be fitted on all metro users from next year. A good business idea there somewhere!

DaveUKagain
14-04-2004, 19:36
Just behead the lot at the entrance - "God knows his own" as Torquemada once said...... :D

ZANUDA
14-04-2004, 19:45
I think your idea will only work at Serpuhovskaya, finish off with the hammer. In good old Soviet tradition. :-)

geofizz56
15-04-2004, 08:10
It's always a shock to me when I go out of country and encounter courtesy in crowded places. I think my next posting is to Malaysia, where even teenagers are polite. On my last trip, a boy had stepped in front of me to get on an escalator. When he realized what he had done, he turned to me and apologized! I almost laughed at him, which would have been extremely rude. I'm going to have to un-learn a lot of the survival behaviors I've picked up here, like "creative elbowing" and "avoidance of eye contact".

DaveUKagain
15-04-2004, 08:12
Interestingly, well, nearly, it IS one of my posts after all, I heard that the reason Russians appear so morose, unsmiling and constrained in public is becaaaaaaaause of 75 years of an "informer culture"....... no one wanted to stand out in public. Whether it`s true or not, no idea.

Ghost
15-04-2004, 09:44
DPG, if you want to borrow my car, you can drive around and do what I do - drive through people crossing and force them to stop until you pass. It's pathetic, but at least feels like you're getting even.

Limitchik
15-04-2004, 09:52
Ghost's adjustment-to-Russia period is now officially over.

DPG
15-04-2004, 12:43
Ghost-ster:

I don't have a licence, but that does sound theraputic to say the least - any chance I get the passenger seat, you do the driving and I'll bring a few good CDs to listen to as we mow through large groups of people at zebra crossings?!

Ditto the above - now you're a moscovite!

Ghost
15-04-2004, 12:52
I have plenty of CDs. Just bring yourself, we'll put Limit in the back for peanut gallery commentary and bring plenty of rubles for the GAI.

Limitchik
15-04-2004, 12:56
Originally posted by Ghost
I have plenty of CDs. Just bring yourself, we'll put Limit in the back for peanut gallery commentary and bring plenty of rubles for the GAI.

Hey, I can be of legitimate use ! DPG, I drove without a license for two years, and I don't think I'm bragging too much if I say that I'm somewhat of an expert in GAI-haggling.

Let me at 'em !

DPG
15-04-2004, 12:56
Sounds good to me! How does Sunday afternoon suit? Is it ok if I bring something that fires rubber bullets too - I'm sure I can pick one up at Gorbushka on Saturday!

DPG
15-04-2004, 12:59
Originally posted by Limitchik
DPG, I drove without a license for two years

You do surprise me!

But I'll wager that you mean that you knew how to drive and simply lacked the piece of paper in your wallet, yes?

With me it's more of a "what does this pedal and this wheel here do then" situation...

Ghost
15-04-2004, 12:59
Too bad no one has a Dacha we can raid. I hear Sunday will be nice.

Limitchik
15-04-2004, 13:02
Originally posted by DPG
You do surprise me!

But I'll wager that you mean that you knew how to drive and simply lacked the piece of paper in your wallet, yes?

Indeed. License was stolen, and I never coordinated my trips to leave time for a run by DMV (department of motor vehicles).

The stories I came up with to explain its absence were gems.

Ghost-Dog, Jazzy-DPG and DJ Limitchik in the 'hood !

DPG
15-04-2004, 13:03
I'm sure if we drive far enough we'll be certain to find one!

The ultimate in therapy - the Anglo-American dacha-jackers! Due to our collective nationalities, we'd probably even make the news back home! Heck, if we were successful, we'd find ourselves in Basra before the week was out...ok, let's not do it!

"We here-by commandeer your dacha for our recreational Sunday use, you are not getting a lawyer or any compensation, but you can make us all a cup of tea and share our shashliks later should you wish...."

DPG
15-04-2004, 13:07
Originally posted by Limitchik
The stories I came up with to explain its absence were gems.


Oh go on then - DO TELL!!

In fact knowing you, I'm sure some of 'em are absolute corkers!

<<Ghost-Dog, Jazzy-DPG and DJ Limitchik in the 'hood !>>

Dats DA hood, yo!

Limitchik
15-04-2004, 13:22
Not so fast, cowpoke ! Those stories saved me infinte amounts of money ! I ain't gonna give 'em away for free. You can take Limitchik's "How to Avoid GAI and Fines" training course for a small fee, where all my tricks--with a little effort and experience-- will be at your disposal.

DaveUKagain
15-04-2004, 13:24
He means "buy a bicycle". There. Saved you ten bucks. ;)

Limitchik
15-04-2004, 13:28
Originally posted by DPG
Dats DA hood, yo!

My whiteness rears its ugly head.

DPG
15-04-2004, 13:30
Dave you don't know him - bicycle hah!

He means phone some number for 36/minute where someone on the other end speaks very slowly as the entire balance of your credit card is transferred to his offshore, numbered bank account...

...the training course does sound quite interesting though...

DPG
15-04-2004, 13:32
Originally posted by Limitchik
My whiteness rears its ugly head.

I was only taking a wild guess myself!

Lady Marmalade
15-04-2004, 18:03
DPG, is that you really? The guy who got me home with such patience for my zero knowledge of anywhere last Friday? By the way, thanks for getting me there safely, much appreciated. Just so you know, you can join me at anytime in line for the next chick that asks for a few kopeks at the grocery store while I hand her my wallet and sing "small change got rained on with his own 38" and let her pick through for what she wants. Anyway, my advice for walking, being Canandian and all, is strap on your choice of portable music, the louder, the better when you are out and steamroll them all with a little smile on your face that says you don't know any better. Works for me, then again I've been here four and a half weeks so what do I know? Caro:p