View Full Version : A Woman's (real) Prayer:

29-03-2004, 15:48
Now I lay me

Down to sleep.

I pray the Lord

My shape to keep.

Please no wrinkles

Please no bags

And please lift my butt

Before it sags.

Please no age spots

Please no gray

And as for my belly,

Please take it away.

Please keep me healthy

Please keep me young,

And thank you Dear Lord

For all that you've done.

Five tips for a woman....

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Foot Note:

One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

29-03-2004, 16:03
Poika, why are you pandering? Hitch your boots up, unpucker those butt-smooching lips, and be a man!

The real five tips for a woman...

1. Don't bug me about the housework - I make enough money to pay for a maid, so use the extra time I've bought you and get your butt to an aerobics class once in a while.

2. I don't mind making you laugh, just as long as it ain't happening every time you see my penis.

3. Of course you can count on me and I won't lie to you - don't I always tell you after I've slept with your little sister?

4. I love you dearly, but if you think you're getting another set of diamond earrings after you lost half of each of the first two pairs, you're psychotic. Be happy I still part with the bucks for the maid.

5. How about you hooking me and the boys up with some sandwiches and beers while I deal out the first stud hand? And hey, did you remember to pick me up another box of Cohibas while you were out?

29-03-2004, 16:16
The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "you are right." ;)

29-03-2004, 16:17
"Yes dear" covers both of those quite well, I find.