View Full Version : Classic Menu Translations

28-03-2004, 17:29
Ok, we have all seen them. We get handed the English menu whether we want it or not. Some of the translations are funny to downright wierd. This is not to poke fun a Russians but to look at the lighter side of the expat world.

Please include the name of the pectopah and location if you can that we may all be on the lookout. I have seen many but this is a classic I saw just this past week.

Here is mine,
From Kolbacoff Restaurant at 21 Taganskaya
German Sausgage & Kraut

The header for the Sauage Dishes (in 36 font)

Our "Firm Sausage"

Now what kind of "firm sausage" we talkin' about here??

Anybody else?

28-03-2004, 18:10
Well, not foodstuffs, but I saw a great one on a Russian furniture website once......

"Dear Customer !! -
Our furniture brings JOY !!!!!! "


(this is what happens when you don`t employ an expat to do your international marketing ) :)

Nothing about firm sausages, though..... they weren`t THAT far gone. ;)

28-03-2004, 18:20
One of the best that I have ever seen was at "Mesto Vstrecha" on Tverskaya:

"One Year Endurance Salmon in an acute Tabasco Sauce"

Despite having a hospitality/restaurant background even I was dumbfounded as to exactly what that was!!

Their whole menu in fact was composed of similarly outlandish items, but that is the one that stuck in my mind (possibly because I almost collapsed laughing when I read it!):).

I went back a few months ago to see if I could have a copy of that menu to send to some people still in "the industry" in London but alas they had obviously had it checked by someone who spoke English and there were no funny things left!:(

One I saw in Prague about 6 years ago still comes to mind too - "Italian pasta needles in meaty sauce" - otherwise known as Spaghetti Bolognaise to the rest of the world:!)

28-03-2004, 18:52
Also, it doesn't only pertain to menus - go to the freezer section of your local supermarket and have a look at the pink coloured packet of pork flavoured pelmenis (I think the brand name is 'Dario' or something like that)...look at the ingredients written in English and be prepared for some pretty barbaric mental imagary when you read:

"Flour, spices, salt, minced PIGGY MEAT...."

I have this image of a cute little piggy wiggy.....and a mincing machine.....

28-03-2004, 20:16
I can't get enough of the 'hot bird meat' at the German place on Malaya Dmitrovka

28-03-2004, 21:36
My ex once confused the words "Ham" and "hamster" with hilarious results...... ;-))))))

28-03-2004, 22:02
Uncle Sam's near Paveletskaya is a must-see menu-wise. I was in too much of a hurry to note anything except "moves with french fries"....

28-03-2004, 22:19
Originally posted by ReturnOfBroadmoor
Uncle Sam's near Paveletskaya is a must-see menu-wise. I was in too much of a hurry to note anything except "moves with french fries"....

You are right, I seem to remember that menu being pretty funny as well. If the service was better I would go again and check it over.

29-03-2004, 01:38
a good friend of mine visited a cafe in Poland allegedly serving "Penis on Rye."

29-03-2004, 01:49
Polly - Please say that your friend ordered it just to find out what it actually was...or perhaps mores to the point, to ensure that it actually wasn't!!?

29-03-2004, 13:56
A menu at a restaurant in Yaroslavl described bisque as a "cancerous soup" in English. Stole the page from the menu if there are any non-believers who want to see it...

29-03-2004, 14:06
Actually, I was in the Uncle Sam's on Myasnitskaya when I saw the great menu - but I am sure the other 2 locations have the same one.