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SalTheReturn
06-03-2008, 19:13
So teacher gave us stuff other classmates wrote and we need to edit. I ended uop having this poorly written film review and edited it doing my best.

Could you guys have a look pls? Do not worry about the trailer, the movie, etc...it is just about lexic and grammar being used correctly.

Thanks a lot

Sal

Here you are:

FILM REVIEW


C’era un cinese in coma is a comedy directed by Carlo Verdone, who is also one of the main characters, as always happens in his movies. This film focuses on the difficult relationship between success (and work in general) and other values like family and friendship.

Ercole Preziosi (Carlo Verdone) is a low-profile showman. His last open-air show, a beauty contest, turns out to be a total failure. Moreover his family relationships are also problematic: Ercole is an “absent” father and husband, and Maruska (his daughter) and Eva (his wife), treat him badly (for example they often speak in russian to each other, despite of Ercole's inability to understand).
His show agency is in decline by now and his only hope is a Sicilian comic actor named Rudy. Just a few minutes before a show, Rude meets with an accident and thus Ercole decides to invite his chauffeur Nicola onto the stage to tell jokes. The first joke Ercole was thinking about tells of a Chinese man in coma.
Against all expectations Nicola has incredible success and the show becomes the beginning of his successful career.
With such great success Nicola loses his head, he treats Ercole badly, makes him become his chauffeur, begins to take drugs and, above all, he seduces and then dumps Maruska. As soon as Ercole discovers this, his disappointment becomes anger, he goes to Nicola’s house, beats him up and burns his brand new car. At the end of that, coming back home, in the hope of reconstructing his family life, he finally tells the joke about the Chinese man in a coma.

This movie is different from the others directed by Verdone, but the two main characters are quite good and the relationship between them is useful to understand the problems dealt within the movie. Sometimes the movie can appear banal but, nevertheless, it is able to provide some interesting food for thoughts.

MissAnnElk
06-03-2008, 19:18
Is this AFTER you edited it? I hate to do your work for you. But I will answer specific questions.

SalTheReturn
06-03-2008, 21:04
Is this AFTER you edited it? I hate to do your work for you. But I will answer specific questions.

yes i edited the poor crap i was given

but if you hate doing the job for me, you can skip on that

no problem at all

MissAnnElk
06-03-2008, 21:09
What I mean is that I am reluctant to do your homework for you . . . it seems a waste of your tuition money . . . you won't learn anything . . . I already speak English.

But I or many of the other ESL teachers here will probably help you.

bluemidnight
06-03-2008, 21:36
The second-to-last sentence has an error. I also see a few proper nouns that have errors.

I'm assuming you weren't asked to edit the punctuation or run-on sentences (meaning sentences that are too long and don't make a lot of sense)?

MissAnnElk
06-03-2008, 21:37
And once there's RUDY and another time it says RUDE.

SalTheReturn
06-03-2008, 22:20
What I mean is that I am reluctant to do your homework for you . . . it seems a waste of your tuition money . . . you won't learn anything . . . I already speak English.

But I or many of the other ESL teachers here will probably help you.

pls let me decide whats better for me and not

if you can help i appreciate

SalTheReturn
06-03-2008, 22:21
The second-to-last sentence has an error. I also see a few proper nouns that have errors.

I'm assuming you weren't asked to edit the punctuation or run-on sentences (meaning sentences that are too long and don't make a lot of sense)?

no just grammar and lexic

can you help?

Lady Marmalade
07-03-2008, 08:09
In Reply to your Post 357138:
Nobody should have to do your homework, it's quite silly that you ask, and then chastise people. You seem to make a habit of this. Aren't you 28 now? For the record, your movie review should look similar to this. And also for the record, it wasn't me that posted this even if it appears that way, my forum name has been hijacked!:wavey:



“C’era un cinese in coma” [2000] is an Italian comedy directed by Carlo Verdone. As well as directing, Verdone, similar to his fellow countryman, Roberto Benigni, is known for acting in his films as well as directing. In this particular film, Verdone portrays one of the main characters, ‘Ercole Preziosi.'

This film focuses on the difficult relationship between success (and work in general) and other values like family and friendship. The protagnonist, Ercole Preziosi, is a middle of the road talent agent whose business is in decline and his family relationships are not doing much better! Ercole is an “absentee” father and husband, and his daughter Maruska and wife, Eva, often treat him badly. To torment him, they will often speak in Russian with one another despite Ercole's inability to understand the language.

As fate would have it, just before an important show, Ercole’s star talent, Rudy, ends up in a serious car accident. With only a few minutes to spare before the show, Ercole offers up his driver, Nicola, as a last minute replacement. Little does Ercole know that by inviting his chauffeur onto the stage to tell jokes, he’s creating a celebrity sensation! Against all expectations to the contrary, Nicola is an incredible success and the show marks the makings of a new star. However, what changes will Nicola’s new fame have on his relationship with Ercole?

Nicola, drunk on his own success, loses his head and pretty soon Ercole’s new star is beyond his control and making him miserable. Nicola makes his former boss become his chauffeur and begins to take drugs as well and then he descends to new lows and seduces Ercole’s daughter and dumps her. When Ercole discovers the latter development, his disappointment in Nicola turns to rage. He goes to Nicola’s house, beats him up and sets Nicola’s brand new car on fire in retaliation. On his way back home in hopes of reconstructing his family life, Ercole ruminates on the joke about the Chinese man in a coma. It is a punch line that is mentioned throughout the movie, but it is only at this moment that we, the audience, finally understand what its relevance is.

This movie is a departure from previous films directed by Verdone and perhaps because of that, not as successful. However, the two main characters are quite good and the relationship played out between them is useful in understanding the problems dealt with within the movie. Although the movie can appear quite banal at times, it is still able to provide some interesting food for thought.


Don't forget to indent the paragraphs in the real version and perhaps you should get Bels to do you up a real nifty version so you can compare style, grammar and wording as you consider him your teacher in all things English. And I would probably switch out 'against all expectations to the contrary' to simply, 'against all odds.' :snoring:

Gypsy
07-03-2008, 08:21
Excellent C, the only change I would make would be at the start with "the protagonists (plural) are...."
Can you have only one protagonist?
G

Lady Marmalade
07-03-2008, 08:23
Excellent C, the only change I would make would be at the start with "the protagonists (plural) are...."

G

Did it already, I edited it as soon as I posted it and could see it on screen. I always edit in context! LOL! OOops but I didn't edit what you mentioned and I don't think I really have to, I'll explain why, to answer your question, a protagonist to me is always the single character, usually the main one. For example, "A protagonist is the chief figure in a drama whose actions are the primary focus of a story." :11157: In Hamlet, the protagonist is obviously, duh! Hamlet!!!!! LOL! You could always say the main protagonists are... however, I'm simply introducing Ercole as the central protoganist and I would have to say in this case, Nicola is probably more his antagonist! Dammit! I have to keep hijacking myself here! No fun I tell you!

SalTheReturn
07-03-2008, 18:33
In Reply to your Post 357138:
Nobody should have to do your homework, it's quite silly that you ask, and then chastise people. You seem to make a habit of this. Aren't you 28 now? For the record, your movie review should look similar to this. And also for the record, it wasn't me that posted this even if it appears that way, my forum name has been hijacked!:wavey:



“C’era un cinese in coma” [2000] is an Italian comedy directed by Carlo Verdone. As well as directing, Verdone, similar to his fellow countryman, Roberto Benigni, is known for acting in his films as well as directing. In this particular film, Verdone portrays one of the main characters, ‘Ercole Preziosi.'

This film focuses on the difficult relationship between success (and work in general) and other values like family and friendship. The protagnonist, Ercole Preziosi, is a middle of the road talent agent whose business is in decline and his family relationships are not doing much better! Ercole is an “absentee” father and husband, and his daughter Maruska and wife, Eva, often treat him badly. To torment him, they will often speak in Russian with one another despite Ercole's inability to understand the language.

As fate would have it, just before an important show, Ercole’s star talent, Rudy, ends up in a serious car accident. With only a few minutes to spare before the show, Ercole offers up his driver, Nicola, as a last minute replacement. Little does Ercole know that by inviting his chauffeur onto the stage to tell jokes, he’s creating a celebrity sensation! Against all expectations to the contrary, Nicola is an incredible success and the show marks the makings of a new star. However, what changes will Nicola’s new fame have on his relationship with Ercole?

Nicola, drunk on his own success, loses his head and pretty soon Ercole’s new star is beyond his control and making him miserable. Nicola makes his former boss become his chauffeur and begins to take drugs as well and then he descends to new lows and seduces Ercole’s daughter and dumps her. When Ercole discovers the latter development, his disappointment in Nicola turns to rage. He goes to Nicola’s house, beats him up and sets Nicola’s brand new car on fire in retaliation. On his way back home in hopes of reconstructing his family life, Ercole ruminates on the joke about the Chinese man in a coma. It is a punch line that is mentioned throughout the movie, but it is only at this moment that we, the audience, finally understand what its relevance is.

This movie is a departure from previous films directed by Verdone and perhaps because of that, not as successful. However, the two main characters are quite good and the relationship played out between them is useful in understanding the problems dealt with within the movie. Although the movie can appear quite banal at times, it is still able to provide some interesting food for thought.


Don't forget to indent the paragraphs in the real version and perhaps you should get Bels to do you up a real nifty version so you can compare style, grammar and wording as you consider him your teacher in all things English. And I would probably switch out 'against all expectations to the contrary' to simply, 'against all odds.' :snoring:

i do not get who hijacked your nick

anyway it is not yr business the way i choose to relate to people here, if i treat them bad i will get crap if i treat them good it will pay off

will never lick the EDITED of someone just have a review corrected, above all when these people only exists on the internet

thanks for editing, i have some more job coming up and remember that making or not making homework it is my free choice

SalTheReturn
07-03-2008, 23:48
In Reply to your Post 357138:
Nobody should have to do your homework, it's quite silly that you ask, and then chastise people. You seem to make a habit of this. Aren't you 28 now? For the record, your movie review should look similar to this. And also for the record, it wasn't me that posted this even if it appears that way, my forum name has been hijacked!:wavey:



“C’era un cinese in coma” [2000] is an Italian comedy directed by Carlo Verdone. As well as directing, Verdone, similar to his fellow countryman, Roberto Benigni, is known for acting in his films as well as directing. In this particular film, Verdone portrays one of the main characters, ‘Ercole Preziosi.'

This film focuses on the difficult relationship between success (and work in general) and other values like family and friendship. The protagnonist, Ercole Preziosi, is a middle of the road talent agent whose business is in decline and his family relationships are not doing much better! Ercole is an “absentee” father and husband, and his daughter Maruska and wife, Eva, often treat him badly. To torment him, they will often speak in Russian with one another despite Ercole's inability to understand the language.

As fate would have it, just before an important show, Ercole’s star talent, Rudy, ends up in a serious car accident. With only a few minutes to spare before the show, Ercole offers up his driver, Nicola, as a last minute replacement. Little does Ercole know that by inviting his chauffeur onto the stage to tell jokes, he’s creating a celebrity sensation! Against all expectations to the contrary, Nicola is an incredible success and the show marks the makings of a new star. However, what changes will Nicola’s new fame have on his relationship with Ercole?

Nicola, drunk on his own success, loses his head and pretty soon Ercole’s new star is beyond his control and making him miserable. Nicola makes his former boss become his chauffeur and begins to take drugs as well and then he descends to new lows and seduces Ercole’s daughter and dumps her. When Ercole discovers the latter development, his disappointment in Nicola turns to rage. He goes to Nicola’s house, beats him up and sets Nicola’s brand new car on fire in retaliation. On his way back home in hopes of reconstructing his family life, Ercole ruminates on the joke about the Chinese man in a coma. It is a punch line that is mentioned throughout the movie, but it is only at this moment that we, the audience, finally understand what its relevance is.

This movie is a departure from previous films directed by Verdone and perhaps because of that, not as successful. However, the two main characters are quite good and the relationship played out between them is useful in understanding the problems dealt with within the movie. Although the movie can appear quite banal at times, it is still able to provide some interesting food for thought.


Don't forget to indent the paragraphs in the real version and perhaps you should get Bels to do you up a real nifty version so you can compare style, grammar and wording as you consider him your teacher in all things English. And I would probably switch out 'against all expectations to the contrary' to simply, 'against all odds.' :snoring:

why i love english?

because things like "to mark the makings of a new star" sounds wonderful.

definitely we are dealing with the most beautiful language of the world

dunno whats the big deal about italian language:-(((