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annasophia
31-05-2015, 12:10
I love the dry Russian humor.

Reading in another place today I saw several jokes that were from Radio Armenia, I don't know what that means in a deeper sense? It seemed to be a significant thing that other people knew about.

Anyway, here is one of the jokes:

- -This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the difference between capitalism and socialism?”

We’re answering: “In a capitalist society man exploits man, and in a socialist one, the other way around.”




:applause: Need more!

FatAndy
31-05-2015, 12:37
There will be no war, but such a hard struggle for ww peace, that no stone-on-stone remains...;)

annasophia
31-05-2015, 12:57
I showed up for work one morning in Moscow, my boss was an old soviet. We had a shop meeting every morning where we were directed for the day's duties.

This one morning my boss went off his rocker ranting some stuff about Poland, I had no idea what he was on about except that he was really pis*ed off about Poland. I couldn't make any sense of. Poland, what? We're groundskeepers.

A few years later I saw a Russian joke about Poland that went something like this:




--In a Russian prison cell a new inmate was tossed in. The Russian men who were already there questioned their new cellmate as to his crimes. He told them his sad story and explained that he was Polish.

They looked and listened to his story shaking their heads and said "So young, and already a Pole."

vossy7
31-05-2015, 13:06
So two chukchas were working on a road in the center of Moscow and they saw a guy drive up in a Rolls Royce and one says to the other
"why him and not us, I'm going to find out" so he follows the guy into his office and said to him.....
"why do you have such a great car and all your money and we have to work hard on the roadworks all the time for very little money?"

so guy say "it's called intelligence "
"what's that "
So the guy put his hand up against the wall and said " hit my hand as hard as you can "
and the Chukcha says "I will hurt you very much as I am a big strong man"
"don't worry I can take the pain"
So the Chukcha stands back and aims a very fast punch to the man's hand ....as soon as the punch nears the man's had he takes it away
"@#$%^&**&^^%^%%$$ " screams the Chukcha .....
"now that's intelligence " the man says to the Chukcha running out of his office in pain....
He get back to his pal on the street and his pal says "so what did you find out ?"
"he says whimpering " it's called intelligence "
"what's that "

"hit my hand as hand as you can " as he puts his hand in front of his face :beerbros:

Nobbynumbnuts
31-05-2015, 13:24
So two chukchas were working on a road in the center of Moscow and they saw a guy drive up in a Rolls Royce and one says to the other
"why him and not us, I'm going to find out" so he follows the guy into his office and said to him.....
"why do you have such a great car and all your money and we have to work hard on the roadworks all the time for very little money?"

so guy say "it's called intelligence "
"what's that "
So the guy put his hand up against the wall and said " hit my hand as hard as you can "
and the Chukcha says "I will hurt you very much as I am a big strong man"
"don't worry I can take the pain"
So the Chukcha stands back and aims a very fast punch to the man's hand ....as soon as the punch nears the man's had he takes it away
"@#$%^&**&^^%^%%$$ " screams the Chukcha .....
"now that's intelligence " the man says to the Chukcha running out of his office in pain....
He get back to his pal on the street and his pal says "so what did you find out ?"
"he says whimpering " it's called intelligence "
"what's that "

"hit my hand as hand as you can " as he puts his hand in front of his face :beerbros:

..isn't that an Irish joke, vossy? :10475:

vossy7
31-05-2015, 16:47
..isn't that an Irish joke, vossy? :10475:

Ah come on Nobby weren't the Chukchas from Ireland like the rest of the world:beerbros:

TolkoRaz
31-05-2015, 21:15
Soviet Jokes are best:

A man walks into a grocery store with a notebook.

"Do you have sausage?"
"No."

He makes a note.

"Bread?"
"No."

He makes another note.

"20 years ago, they would have shot you for making notes like that," says a woman waiting in line.
"No bullets either," he writes.

TolkoRaz
31-05-2015, 21:16
A Frenchman, a Brit, and a Soviet Russian are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.

The Frenchman says, "they must be French, they're naked and they're eating fruit."

The Englishman says, "clearly, they're English; observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit."

The Soviet Russian notes, "they are Russian, of course. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and they think they are in paradise."

TolkoRaz
31-05-2015, 21:21
Comrade Brezhnev was hosting a Chinese minister who asked him how things were going with the Soviet economy.

“Let me put it this way,” replied Brezhnev. “Reagan has 100 advisers, one of them is a spy, but he doesn’t know which one.”

“Mitterand has 100 mistresses, one of them has AIDS, but he doesn’t know which one.”

“I have 100 economists, one of them is smart, but I don’t know which one.”

TolkoRaz
31-05-2015, 21:26
An old Jew is reading a Hebrew book in a Moscow park. A KGB agent walks up to him and asks "Why are you reading a Hebrew book?"

The old man replies, "Why, I want to learn Hebrew in case I go to Heaven."

"Aha," the KGB agent says, "But what if you go to the other place?"

"Well, Russian I already know."

TolkoRaz
31-05-2015, 21:27
Two Russians meet in a Moscow park.

One says, "Did you hear...Pavlovic has died."

The other replies, "I didn't even know he had been arrested."

TolkoRaz
31-05-2015, 21:30
Why do ex-KGB officers make the best Moscow taxi drivers?

Because you only need to tell them your name and they'll already know where you live! :10310:

penka
31-05-2015, 21:40
Why do ex-KGB officers make the best Moscow taxi drivers?

Because you only need to tell them your name and they'll already know where you live! :10310:

Gee, Tolko, you are quite nostalgic tonight!:D

Nobbynumbnuts
31-05-2015, 22:01
A Frenchman, a Brit, and a Soviet Russian are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.

The Frenchman says, "they must be French, they're naked and they're eating fruit."

The Englishman says, "clearly, they're English; observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit."

The Soviet Russian notes, "they are Russian, of course. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and they think they are in paradise."

..the best of the bunch! ;)

TolkoRaz
31-05-2015, 22:03
Gee, Tolko, you are quite nostalgic tonight!:D

Some of us like the K Gee B! ;)

vossy7
31-05-2015, 22:27
Ah TR......you should be on the stage......brilliant:10518:

TolkoRaz
31-05-2015, 22:39
Did you ever read Krokodil? :book:

TolkoRaz
31-05-2015, 22:41
Ah TR......you should be on the stage......brilliant:10518:

Thanks, I have been on a few and fallen off a few! ;)

annasophia
31-05-2015, 23:53
:tv:

penka
01-06-2015, 07:16
Some of us like the K Gee B! ;)

:)