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turkgida
17-02-2008, 17:52
Lets we post the worst jobs we ever witnessed/heard/done.

Hopefully gonna be a relief, next time we 'll complain about work :)

Anything gross is ESPECIALLY welcome...

turkgida
17-02-2008, 18:06
ok, as the thread opener, i'll have the honours:

once my ex-bf mentioned a guy in their cable network company, who watches x-rated movies 9 to 5, so as to determine which ones are "qualified" to be broadcasted on their after-hours porn channel!
imagine, hard-core sh..t 8 hrs/day, 5 days/week, 12 months.... yikessss!!!

curious what's the title on his business card? :eh:

MissAnnElk
17-02-2008, 18:15
ok, as the thread opener, i'll have the honours:

once my ex-bf mentioned a guy in their cable network company, who watches x-rated movies 9 to 5, so as to determine which ones are "qualified" to be broadcasted on their after-hours porn channel!
imagine, hard-core sh..t 8 hrs/day, 5 days/week, 12 months.... yikessss!!!

curious what's the title on his business card? :eh:

So he decides what is "hotel porn" and what we get on STREAM? Funny.

When we live din Buenos Aires, we discovered, by accident, that at 11:00 the Farm Channel and the Tango Channel switched, mid sentence, to adult programming. For a week, no one slept. It was fascinating. Eventually it got boring, and we started saying, "Oh, let's watch a Seinfeld rerun . . ."

SalTheReturn
17-02-2008, 18:50
worst job is the guy who, in country where motorways are not free of charge, hav to charge drivers

you can see him on new years eve in his cabin watching a small tv, whilst driver are happily heading for their holidays

Miracle77777
17-02-2008, 22:41
Nice Thread, Turkgida ^^
For me - the worse job is to sell in a street-markets....
I do not know whether it is very profitable...as many of people doing this....
But when I think about standing there in winter, automn > snow, wind and rain - thanks....not interested in at all......:10220: :ignore:

SalTheReturn
17-02-2008, 23:11
Nice Thread, Turkgida ^^
For me - the worse job is to sell in a street-markets....
I do not know whether it is very profitable...as many of people doing this....
But when I think about standing there in winter, automn > snow, wind and rain - thanks....not interested in at all......:10220: :ignore:

ridicolous

turkgida
18-02-2008, 00:23
... standing there in winter, automn > snow, wind and rain - thanks....not interested in at all ...

true Miracle but compared to refinery, mine and chemical plant workers, street workers are QUITE lucky. flu or cancer anyone? (and many other horrible diseases we can't even pronounce, let alone imagining the pain and suffering)

Willy
18-02-2008, 03:20
3. Playing Larry of The Three Stooges.
That guy took so many face slaps, even Sal will never catch him.
You can see in some scenes his face is already red from multiple takes.

2. My cousin worked for the fire department and was a diver.
It was his job to go fish the drowning victims out of the water.
Once he worked a plane crash and was just picking up pieces.

1. A moderator on expat.ru

lech
18-02-2008, 04:14
i heard of a guy working in Singapore zoo, collecting sperm samples from animals for a scientific study. without going into detailed description, let me say that he had to procure the samples from animals by whichever means...

lech
18-02-2008, 04:19
here's a link: Zoo sperm bank worker Mohd. Binatang bin Goncang wins "Worst Job in Singapore". | ShsWeb (http://www.shsweb.fi/forum/1/17414/17425/)

pjw
18-02-2008, 05:05
here's a link: Zoo sperm bank worker Mohd. Binatang bin Goncang wins "Worst Job in Singapore". | ShsWeb (http://www.shsweb.fi/forum/1/17414/17425/)
:11033::alien::11033:
Hello there Lech, my friend. What´s going on? Do you wanna talk with someone? :11033::alien::11033: Am here if you need me buddy! This zoo stuff? Is it really you man?:11033::alien::11033:
:11033::alien::11033:

MickeyTong
18-02-2008, 21:09
I used to work on a hospital ward for "behaviourally disturbed elderly mentally ill": that is people with Alzheimer's disease who couldn't be managed at home or in a normal dementia unit, because they wandered, were aggressive or were bed-ridden. These people needed total personal care - most needed to be fed, dressed, bathed and toiletted. Bathing and toiletting people who don't know who you are or what you are doing is a very labour-intensive activity, usually requiring 2 people to restrain the patient while another nurse deals with the business end of things. If these patients are not regularly toiletted they tend to pee and poo as the mood takes them. And, like young babies, poo can be an interesting toy for them.
Every winter a norovirus will hit the hospital and, one-by-one, these patients will develop vomiting and diarrhoea and need extra-special cleaning up and bathing.
I was undressing one bed-ridden old lady who had filled her nappy.... She was fully dressed, including pantyhose, and there was liquid poo everywhere. Infected human poo has a particularly noxious odour and I was breathing through my mouth, struggling not to throw up. As I was removing her pantyhose the elastic twanged and I received a splattering of diarrhoea over my face and in my mouth. I spewed....which just produced extra mess to be cleaned up.
Needless to say I soon succumbed to the virus (as did most nurses there) and spent 2 days exploding at both ends.
Aaah, nursing is such a noble profession....

MissAnnElk
18-02-2008, 21:33
MickeyTong: there ought to be knighthood involved for that.

I used to take my dog to senior homes for "pet therapy." But even with the Alzheimer's crowd, my part was limited and pleasant.

elis
18-02-2008, 22:46
here's a link: Zoo sperm bank worker Mohd. Binatang bin Goncang wins "Worst Job in Singapore". | ShsWeb (http://www.shsweb.fi/forum/1/17414/17425/)

TMI on that one.



I used to work on a hospital ward for "behaviourally disturbed elderly mentally ill". . .

OMG. :jawdrop: All I can say. UGH, and double UGH.

elis
18-02-2008, 22:51
Okay. Nothing compares with MickeyT. But, went to the store today--snowy, slushy, muddy, yukky... you know what I mean. And these poor women stuck with mopping the floors. How much do they hate it when the store is busy?

Can anybody say Sisyphus?

(Let alone those poor guys who shovel the snow on the sidewalk . . . )

Natkin
18-02-2008, 23:12
I was busy planning a job hunt, but after I read Mickey`s post, I am thinking that my job is absolutely fabulous!!!:10806:

Mickey, I owe you a drink. You are my hero!:11629:

turkgida
18-02-2008, 23:33
... I am thinking that my job is absolutely fabulous!!! ...

Mission accomplished!!! :thumbsup:

(see my first post for this thread)

tatarka
19-02-2008, 09:52
I used to work on a hospital ward for "behaviourally disturbed elderly mentally ill": that is people with Alzheimer's disease who couldn't be managed at home or in a normal dementia unit, because they wandered, were aggressive or were bed-ridden. These people needed total personal care - most needed to be fed, dressed, bathed and toiletted. Bathing and toiletting people who don't know who you are or what you are doing is a very labour-intensive activity, usually requiring 2 people to restrain the patient while another nurse deals with the business end of things. If these patients are not regularly toiletted they tend to pee and poo as the mood takes them. And, like young babies, poo can be an interesting toy for them.
Every winter a norovirus will hit the hospital and, one-by-one, these patients will develop vomiting and diarrhoea and need extra-special cleaning up and bathing.
I was undressing one bed-ridden old lady who had filled her nappy.... She was fully dressed, including pantyhose, and there was liquid poo everywhere. Infected human poo has a particularly noxious odour and I was breathing through my mouth, struggling not to throw up. As I was removing her pantyhose the elastic twanged and I received a splattering of diarrhoea over my face and in my mouth. I spewed....which just produced extra mess to be cleaned up.
Needless to say I soon succumbed to the virus (as did most nurses there) and spent 2 days exploding at both ends.
Aaah, nursing is such a noble profession....
MickeyThong, I do respect such people whose help we can't leave without. In fact, every job can be the worst. If someone considers the worst job is when the man collects the sperm in the zoo then it might be really interesting for this man to do so - for example, check biological featues and so on. In my opinion, the main thing is that people should get satisfaction of their jobs no matters what they are.

MickeyTong
19-02-2008, 10:45
At the other end of the faecal spectrum is constipation...which requires progressive measures to resolve.
If someone didn't have a bowel movement for 3 days they would be given a suppository and disposable nappy.
If this didn't produce a result, an enema would be used, quite often with explosive results.
But sometimes people would be constipated for so long that they developed "faecal impaction". Human dung is liquid until it spends time in the colon, which has a highly permeable surface to absorb water. The longer poo remains there, the more water it loses...so after a while there will be an 8-inch plug of rock-solid crap. This gives rise to the phenomenon of "faecal overflow", where liquid poo seeps past the impacted plug and leaks out.
At this stage the only remedy is.......manual extraction. Using a finger and thumb (sometimes 2 fingers - this stuff is like concrete amalgum), the plug is removed by breaking off small pieces.
Adding to the fun of this procedure is the fact that the man you are doing it to thinks he is 22 years old and waiting at a train station.......

turkgida
19-02-2008, 10:52
...Adding to the fun of this procedure is the fact that the man you are doing it to thinks he is 22 years old and waiting at a train station ...

:D love your posts Mickey :applause:

elis
19-02-2008, 11:15
At the other end of the faecal spectrum is constipation...which requires progressive measures to resolve...

:Loco:

hazelnut
19-02-2008, 12:52
I used to work on a hospital ward for "behaviourally disturbed elderly mentally ill": that is people with Alzheimer's disease who couldn't be managed at home or in a normal dementia unit, because they wandered, were aggressive or were bed-ridden. These people needed total personal care - most needed to be fed, dressed, bathed and toiletted. Bathing and toiletting people who don't know who you are or what you are doing is a very labour-intensive activity, usually requiring 2 people to restrain the patient while another nurse deals with the business end of things. If these patients are not regularly toiletted they tend to pee and poo as the mood takes them. And, like young babies, poo can be an interesting toy for them.
Every winter a norovirus will hit the hospital and, one-by-one, these patients will develop vomiting and diarrhoea and need extra-special cleaning up and bathing.
I was undressing one bed-ridden old lady who had filled her nappy.... She was fully dressed, including pantyhose, and there was liquid poo everywhere. Infected human poo has a particularly noxious odour and I was breathing through my mouth, struggling not to throw up. As I was removing her pantyhose the elastic twanged and I received a splattering of diarrhoea over my face and in my mouth. I spewed....which just produced extra mess to be cleaned up.
Needless to say I soon succumbed to the virus (as did most nurses there) and spent 2 days exploding at both ends.
Aaah, nursing is such a noble profession....


At the other end of the faecal spectrum is constipation...which requires progressive measures to resolve.
If someone didn't have a bowel movement for 3 days they would be given a suppository and disposable nappy.
If this didn't produce a result, an enema would be used, quite often with explosive results.
But sometimes people would be constipated for so long that they developed "faecal impaction". Human dung is liquid until it spends time in the colon, which has a highly permeable surface to absorb water. The longer poo remains there, the more water it loses...so after a while there will be an 8-inch plug of rock-solid crap. This gives rise to the phenomenon of "faecal overflow", where liquid poo seeps past the impacted plug and leaks out.
At this stage the only remedy is.......manual extraction. Using a finger and thumb (sometimes 2 fingers - this stuff is like concrete amalgum), the plug is removed by breaking off small pieces.
Adding to the fun of this procedure is the fact that the man you are doing it to thinks he is 22 years old and waiting at a train station.......

Overflowed with recollections, aren’t you? Happy sailing then!..;)

But seriously, Mickey, it’s really a tough job… apart from the sickening part that you described so vividly, for me it also sounded like a reminder of some dark sides of a human being’s life. Shudder… but thank you for the reminder. That pink glasses have been rubbing my nose bridge lately…
Also wanted to say (together with the picture of the place that you’re from you posted once that two posts were like an insight of your nature): maybe you’ve got something in reward, maybe you’ve learnt something… not to treat life that seriously… that black humor and tranquility of yours – I love them, to me they are attractive traits in a man. It’s man’s job you did! Respect and admiration.:wavey:

MickeyTong
19-02-2008, 13:14
I no longer work on an elderly ward, and I admire those who make a career out of it. The black humour is necessary, because it's quite a depressing environment with very little positive feedback: these patients don't get better, they get worse and then they die.

MissAnnElk
19-02-2008, 13:31
Yes, but their families remember the kindnesses. Sometimes. That's where the reward comes.

Orion
19-02-2008, 15:03
Love the mythological reference Elis!!!

MickeyTong
19-02-2008, 15:21
On a different note, but staying with the rectal theme and reiterating the absorbency of the colon.....
Stevie Nicks (of Fleetwood Mac) was fond of cocaine but didn't want to damage her septum (the gristle between your nostrils, destroyed by heavy coke snorting).
So....she would have a friend blow a line up her backside.

Friends....what would we do without them?

MickeyTong
19-02-2008, 15:49
But then Stevie was probably ignorant regarding fistulaes.....
There is a rather unpleasant cancer which eats through tissue between the rectum and the bladder, so that when you pee........poo comes out.
Can't you just wait to grow old?
Personally, I'm smoking and drinking as much as I can.

Len Ganley Stance
19-02-2008, 16:22
Mickey Tong,

Some of your posts on this subject remind me of the Derek & Clive sketch 'The Worst Job I Ever 'ad' - that's the one involving retrieving Lobsters from Jayne Mansfield's bum.

Keep up the good work.

MickeyTong
19-02-2008, 17:15
retrieving Lobsters from Jayne Mansfield's bum.

I tried to picture this, but my mind just boggled.

Penelope
19-02-2008, 17:28
I personally have never had a job as bad as what Mickey had described (thank God!). When I came to Russia to work in a non-profit organization, one of my colleagues described working in an old folks' home. One of the patient's uterus would literally fall out, and when she'd stand up, he'd have to put it back in.

MickeyTong
19-02-2008, 17:30
:-) Been there, done that, read the book, seen the film, worn the T-shirt. Prolapsed rectum is also quite common.

kirk10071
19-02-2008, 17:44
:-) Been there, done that, read the book, seen the film, worn the T-shirt. Prolapsed rectum is also quite common.

You know, the wife and I were just discussing rectal prolapse the other day at breakfast (full English). What are the odds of it coming up twice in the same week?!!

MickeyTong
19-02-2008, 17:45
It can come out more than twice a week.....
Which part of your breakfast prompted thoughts of rectal prolapse?

kirk10071
19-02-2008, 17:49
Hard to say. At some point as I tucked into the sausage and the baked beans, the subject just came up...

Rustralian
20-02-2008, 03:31
Not that anything can match the eloquent descriptions we have been provided by our favourite Mr Tong, of the more fascinating features of the body (you should call John Cleese and collaborate over a movie or at least a training video), but keeping with the general theme of faecal matter, many years ago I worked in Perth with a Waste Disposal company.

If people don't know Perth, it has a very substantial limestone base and there are no sewers in many parts of Perth so we rely upon septic tanks - concrete tanks dug into the ground that your waste water and toilet waste goes into and collects in. These tanks of course fill up and get blocked and need to be either pumped or cleaned every so many years. One of the services our company offered was that - trucks that went out and pumped the tanks out (as I call them, Turd Trucks).

One of our Turd Truck drivers (who had been on the job for 20+ years) verily went to to unblock and pump out some turd tanks one day. To find the tanks you look for grass that is growing well or if you cant find that, they use a steel rod to tap into the grass until they hit the lid of the tank - which is also made of concrete.

In theory these tanks are quite solid, but many have been there for well over 30 years and do show some wear and many of the lids crack.

This chap dutifully found his first tank (they are usually in pairs with leech drains added to them) and took the grass off the lid of first tank (they should be covered with at least 6 inches of dirt and gr**** but most are not) and found the bung hole for his hose to go into to start sucking out the first tank which was very full of smelly things (yes it does smell really bad).

He then finished the first tank and went to move onto tank number two. It will always be very close to the first tank, so you poke the grass with your steel rod a few times to find the edges and then clear the top to find the bung hole to suck it out. When doing this you should not stand on the lid as they do crack, but people very often do, as they get lazy.

As fate would have it he was standing on the lid of tank number two, which was only about two thirds full and not compacted and hard like tank two, but full of relatively fresh and liquid turds and other waste, when the lid cracked and he went straight down, thigh high into a nice tank full of turds (and tampons and whatever else goes down your toilets). Fortunately it was not his first time to have experienced this joy so he was relatively unconcerned, but it is certainly not an experience most people would care to share or enjoy.

For the record, he did smell and every day he came to work, even before he started work he smelt like turds! 20 plus years of working with the stuff seems to have it permeate your skin and he always smelt like turds!
:wavey:

MickeyTong
20-02-2008, 05:45
Channel 4 - The Worst Jobs in History - Home (http://www.channel4.com/history/microsites/W/worstjobs/)

Rustralian
20-02-2008, 13:20
When you are up to your eyeballs in s#*t, keep your mouth closed!

:wavey::wavey: