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ridcully
30-10-2007, 19:49
Lords debate airline liquids ban | The Register (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/10/30/lords_liquid_ban/)

Fellow British citizens, read this before you are tempted to criticise the way people in other countries are governed - and laugh. Non-British citizens, simply read this and laugh.

Lords debate airline liquids ban
Exploding Marmite threat revealed

Published Tuesday 30th October 2007 16:05 GMT

Who remembers the deadly liquid bomb airliner plot? Most of you, we're guessing, as there are still a lot of fairly mindless restrictions on taking liquids aboard planes - no matter that the plot was actually rather far-fetched.

But fear not, UK readers, as your unelected representatives are alert to your interests. Yesterday saw the liquid ban debated in the House of Lords, as ordinary legislative nobles grilled government mouthpiece Baron Bassam of Brighton. The good Baron, raised to the peerage from among the common herd after more than a decade's trusty service on Brighton council, didn't seem to have been furnished with a very comprehensive brief. Here are a few of the pearls he offered:

"We continuously monitor the effectiveness of, in particular, the liquid security measures..."

How, one might ask? But hold on:

"The fact that there has not been a serious incident involving liquid explosives indicates, I would have thought, that the measures that we have put in place so far have been very effective."

Ah, that's how. On which basis the measures against asteroid strike, alien invasion and unexplained nationwide floods of deadly boiling custard have also been remarkably effective.

At times, the debate seemed to verge on the whimsical.

"We should not complain too loudly," said the Baron. "I always celebrate the fact that there is effective security at airports... A friend of mine had two jars of Marmite confiscated, which I thought was a bit tough at the time, but these are the things that we have to put up with."

The only possible reading of this is that, now that the Baron has been briefed in by security experts, he no longer considers the Marmite seizure unjustified. The implications of this are literally breathtaking.

Yes, that's right: the government have warning of a fiendish terrorist plot to destroy airliners using EXPLODING MARMITE. (Aiee!)

And that's not all. Consider this question by the Baron of Battersea:

"My Lords, when these measures were first introduced, there was a complete prohibition on taking tubes of toothpaste or any liquids. This was subsequently changed. Why?"

The response from the troubled Brightonian insta-noble was very much in accordance with the traditions of upper-house debate. "My Lords," quoth he, "I can only assume that it was because the level of threat from a tube of toothpaste was considered rather less than that from a bottle of liquid."

Fortunately Baroness McIntosh of Hudnall was there to cut through the muddle and get to the root of the issue.

"Does my noble friend agree," she inquired, "that one of the best ways of avoiding the problems of security at airports is not to fly at all? Perhaps his department might discourage people from flying rather than encouraging them to get round the security problems."

Baron Bassam fell back on the oh-shut-up-you-old-fool gambit, saying: "I know that my noble friend has a particular thing about flying and I entirely respect her point of view. However, I think that we would all recognise that aviation plays an important part in the life of our country."

But the wily second Baron Elton - one of that rather unique class of only-in-Blighty legislators, the elected hereditary peers* - delivered a telling blow, with a question many of us have wanted to ask at airports. "What damage can be done by 105 millilitres of liquid that cannot be done by 100 millilitres of liquid?" he snapped, testily.

This completely floored Baron Bassam. "My briefing does not extend to that," muttered the confused government toff. "I suspect that this is based on science."

Ah, science. That's all right then.

*Note for non-UK readers: Elected hereditary peers are a real thing. One is born a lord, and then elected by one's fellow hereditary toffs to a seat in the upper house of Parliament. It was, like most of the British constitution, supposed to be a temporary stopgap measure.

Aussie Mark
30-10-2007, 20:37
Even frequent travellers can forget...

I almost had to abandon a 910g jar of Vegemite at an airport a month ago...

I was flying from Seattle the Houston to visit my Brother and had the precious cargo in my bag and at the last minute I decided to take everything carry-on. Not even thinking about the Vegemite being "A dangerous liquid".

Well it got found at the X-Ray and it was only the fact that it was a red-eye flight (Midnight until dawn for the non ESs) and there were no lines at check-in or security that I was able to get it to Houston.

Brother was most appreciative...

Bels
30-10-2007, 20:45
Even frequent travellers can forget...

I almost had to abandon a 910g jar of Vegemite at an airport a month ago...

I was flying from Seattle the Houston to visit my Brother and had the precious cargo in my bag and at the last minute I decided to take everything carry-on. Not even thinking about the Vegemite being "A dangerous liquid".

Well it got found at the X-Ray and it was only the fact that it was a red-eye flight (Midnight until dawn for the non ESs) and there were no lines at check-in or security that I was able to get it to Houston.

Brother was most appreciative...

Is vegemite anything like Marmite?

Mvlzac
30-10-2007, 21:08
How could a country which is called itself democratic may have a figure called LORD?


Can someone explain me this?

Yeah I am an ignorant uneducated man, but please explain me this))

Aussie Mark
30-10-2007, 21:16
Is vegemite anything like Marmite?

Yes and no... Very similar but my experience is that Poms go for Marmite and Aussies are all Vegemite... with very few exceptions.

There is also Promite which is a poor third.

To educate the interested...

Vegemite - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia@@AMEPARAM@@/wiki/File:Vegemiteontoast_large.jpg" class="image"><img alt="" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/10/Vegemiteontoast_large.jpg/250px-Vegemiteontoast_large.jpg"@@AMEPARAM@@commons/thumb/1/10/Vegemiteontoast_large.jpg/250px-Vegemiteontoast_large.jpg

Marmite - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia@@AMEPARAM@@/wiki/File:Marmite.jpg" class="image"><img alt="" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/4b/Marmite.jpg/220px-Marmite.jpg"@@AMEPARAM@@commons/thumb/4/4b/Marmite.jpg/220px-Marmite.jpg

Promite - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia@@AMEPARAM@@/wiki/File:Text_document_with_red_question_mark.svg" class="image"><img alt="Text document with red question mark.svg" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a4/Text_document_with_red_question_mark.svg/40px-Text_document_with_red_question_mark.svg.png"@@AMEPARAM@@commons/thumb/a/a4/Text_document_with_red_question_mark.svg/40px-Text_document_with_red_question_mark.svg.png

Daz
30-10-2007, 21:20
Almost...

I think the world was a better place before the liquids were banned from travel thru airports, I really enjoyed taking a big earthy red wine bottle from a local winery with me on my travels to share with the friendly locals after we arrived, now I just sit in the cabin and look at my dry old laptop case and then drink engine degreaser in a glass bottle with a cork in it.

Also need to rant about how much money I have wasted at the airport security on bottle openers, corkscrews, keyrings with handy scissors in them and even nail clippers that I've had to throw away just to buy them again on the other side of the airport check,

I hope these debates keep your politicians safe from doing any real work for many years,

there, I've said it, i feel better anyway, you?

ridcully
30-10-2007, 21:27
How could a country which is called itself democratic may have a figure called LORD?

Can someone explain me this?

Yeah I am an ignorant uneducated man, but please explain me this))

Mvizac, like many countries, in Britain we are governed by a lower house (the House of Commons) and an upper house (the House of Lords). Members of the House of Commons (Members of Parliament, or MPs) are directly elected. Members of the House of Lords (who are called Peers) are not elected. Historically, some have inherited their places (because they were born into the right family) or were chosen (by fellow politicians) to have a place there. The situation is now a little more complicated, since the number of hereditary peers is supposed to be reduced eventually to zero (but it is taking a long time to do this, for some reason).

Many people from the UK (me included) think that an unelected house of representatives is not right in a democracy, and would like to see a different system. This is (partly at least) why I said


Fellow British citizens, read this before you are tempted to criticise the way people in other countries are governed - and laugh.

I would not contemplate criticising another country's system of government without making it quite clear that I am critical of that in my own (native) country.

Bels
30-10-2007, 21:27
How could a country which is called itself democratic may have a figure called LORD?


Can someone explain me this?

Yeah I am an ignorant uneducated man, but please explain me this))

Why not? it's British image. They no longer rule our country, our represented MPs and our Prime Minister do that. But they can be a pain in the ass sometimes. It's our history and I love it.

Aussie Mark
30-10-2007, 22:47
Almost...

I think the world was a better place before the liquids were banned from travel thru airports, I really enjoyed taking a big earthy red wine bottle from a local winery with me on my travels to share with the friendly locals after we arrived, now I just sit in the cabin and look at my dry old laptop case and then drink engine degreaser in a glass bottle with a cork in it.

Also need to rant about how much money I have wasted at the airport security on bottle openers, corkscrews, keyrings with handy scissors in them and even nail clippers that I've had to throw away just to buy them again on the other side of the airport check,

I hope these debates keep your politicians safe from doing any real work for many years,

there, I've said it, i feel better anyway, you?

Time for a bepokka!

sfjohns67
31-10-2007, 07:33
I would not contemplate criticising another country's system of government without making it quite clear that I am critical of that in my own (native) country.Which puts you in a distinct minority around here.

Hawk
31-10-2007, 08:56
I suppose such deep quality debates and discussions of national security issues are hardly compensated for by only remuneration, its the humour and laughter too that I'm sure

J.D.
31-10-2007, 09:49
I agree that inherited positions don't belong in a democracy
BUT I also don't believe that democracy is the best form of government.

Before you start calling me unAmerican, or worse, you should know that the U.S. was not founded as a democracy. It was a republic. Pre-WWII 'democracy' was not a favorable term. It was seen as a half of a step up from anarchy. However it was a good propaganda tool against communists and dictators.

Many of the founding fathers wanted only property owners to vote. Not because they were elite but because it meant that they had a stake in the country.

I don't think democracy is necessarily bad but you have a lot of stupid people out there who should not be participating in government. Worse yet you have some evil people out there who know how to persuade these people to democratically support their evil plans.

So one advantage of these Lords, or whatever they're called, is that they are free of these stupid voters.


I long for the philosopher king. Of course the problem there is they don't live forever.