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Potty
10-10-2012, 10:56
Would you get married to a girlfriend who you knocked up? In case you never planned getting married to her and there were no serious feelings.

Russian Lad
10-10-2012, 10:59
I would suggest abortion, if not, she can fly. If I am rich enough I will just provide for the child if she decides to give birth. Why the question? Are you in trouble? :10293:

Potty
10-10-2012, 11:03
Why the question? Are you in trouble? :10293:

99% of my posts are not about me, but about the subject. (I guess I should write that in my profile).

Jas
10-10-2012, 11:10
99% of my posts are not about me, but about the subject. (I guess I should write that in my profile).

See how they always try to personalize it!

Russian Lad
10-10-2012, 11:12
I was just trying to crack a morning joke, nothing personal.:) But I see the subject is touchy though...

Potty
10-10-2012, 11:21
But I see the subject is touchy though...

mmm...not at all. Just curiosity.

okiey
10-10-2012, 11:25
Would you get married to a girlfriend who you knocked up? In case you never planned getting married to her and there were no serious feelings.

No way.

mds45
10-10-2012, 11:29
What's the point to be married without love ? it sounds like a version of torture ! I would prefer my fingernails to be pulled out than waste my life with someone I didn't love.. I think the pain would be less..

TolkoRaz
10-10-2012, 11:34
Would you get married to a girlfriend who you knocked up?

Who's girlfriend is it? ;)

Potty
10-10-2012, 11:39
Who's girlfriend is it? ;)

Hm...That would be another thread. "Would you marry to a pregnant girl and it is not your baby?"

Potty
10-10-2012, 11:40
What's the point to be married without love ?

well, people do it pretty often.

mds45
10-10-2012, 11:46
well, people do it pretty often.

Yes I know them, they are the guys who cheat or drink to much and the women who cheat and drink to much to escape their miserable lives.

Russian Lad
10-10-2012, 13:14
cheat and drink to much

So, cheating is ok in your book, if it is not "too much"? :) Just curious, it would be a bit hard for me to define what is "too much". Most women are like cats, though, most will betray you for a solid benefit, so it is hard to find the right one.:) And it is the men's task to spread the semen around, I don't see anything wrong with having a few women, but the society, being Christian, will disapprove it, of course. The Muslims have a huge advantage over the Christian societies in this respect.:)

scd167
10-10-2012, 13:19
So, cheating is ok in your book, if it is not "too much"? :) Just curious, it would be a bit hard for me to define what is "too much". Most women are like cats, though, most will betray you for a solid benefit, so it is hard to find the right one.:) And it is the men's task to spread the semen around, I don't see anything wrong with having a few women, but the society, being Christian, will disapprove it, of course. The Muslims have a huge advantage over the Christian societies in this respect.:)

Their divorces are much better and quicker as well...

mds45
10-10-2012, 13:25
So, cheating is ok in your book, if it is not "too much"? :) Just curious, it would be a bit hard for me to define what is "too much". Most women are like cats, though, most will betray you for a solid benefit, so it is hard to find the right one.:) And it is the men's task to spread the semen around, I don't see anything wrong with having a few women, but the society, being Christian, will disapprove it, of course. The Muslims have a huge advantage over the Christian societies in this respect.:)

Yep agreed I phrased it badly :( f*** back to school for me (((

mds45
10-10-2012, 13:31
So, cheating is ok in your book, if it is not "too much"? :) Just curious, it would be a bit hard for me to define what is "too much". Most women are like cats, though, most will betray you for a solid benefit, so it is hard to find the right one.:) And it is the men's task to spread the semen around, I don't see anything wrong with having a few women, but the society, being Christian, will disapprove it, of course. The Muslims have a huge advantage over the Christian societies in this respect.:)

Intersting points, but I know a lot of people who stick together and don't cheat on each other - so it seems to me to be possible if they love each other.

The question you raise by your statement is If a woman loves a man would she betray him for a solid benefit? and if a man loved his wife with all his heart would he seek to spread his semen? I think no to both. But maybe I'm an incurable romantic ! perhaps life in the brides trade has taught you different lessons?

Potty
10-10-2012, 13:41
Most women are like cats, though, most will betray you for a solid benefit, so it is hard to find the right one.:)

I can tell you that a woman with your kids will hardly cheat on you. Nobody wants to risk her kid's happiness and nobody wants another daddy for her kids for any benefit in the world. In most cases. Of course there are some f**ed up in their heads idiots who destroy their kid's world. But I mean general tendency. It is not about feelings or love. It is about something else.

Russian Lad
10-10-2012, 13:42
perhaps life in the brides trade has taught you different lessons?

I guess so:) Well, true and pure love is hard to find, and even if it is found, over the years in most cases it grows into a mere attachment a person gets used to, it seems to me.

Potty
10-10-2012, 13:47
over the years in most cases it grows into a mere attachment a person gets used to, it seems to me.

it is not so bad. IMHO

mrzuzzo
10-10-2012, 14:40
I probably would and if not out of love to the mother, out of love to the future child.

rusmeister
10-10-2012, 15:47
Would you get married to a girlfriend who you knocked up? In case you never planned getting married to her and there were no serious feelings.

The question presupposes a number of things. That I have already had sex with her without marriage (and presumably OK with that) for example. So it's already hard to answer as put, because it creates an inconsistent position.

So what is the nature of sex and pregnancy? What do we think we are doing when we "have sex" (a simply retarded euphemism)?

A new human life has been formed. A child. Who is going to care for it? Or do you think it's OK to kill him or her? Why did you copulate in the first place? Is it right to either kill a baby in the womb or abandon a child because you don't want the responsibility of parenting (though you are already responsible for the life of the child in the first place)?

I do agree about the feminine necessity for monogamy:


A society in which conjugal infidelity is tolerated must always be in the long run a society adverse to women. Women, whatever a few male songs and satires may say to the contrary, are more naturally monogamous than men; it is a biological necessity. Where promiscuity prevails, they will therefore always be more often the victims than culprits. Also, domestic happiness is more necessary to them than to us. And the quality by which they most easily hold a man, their beauty, decreases every year after they have come to maturity, but this does not happen to those qualities of personalitywomen dont really care two pence about our looksby which we hold women. Thus in the ruthless war of promiscuity women are at a double disadvantage. They play for higher stakes and are also more likely to lose. I have no sympathy with moralists who frown at the increasing crudity of female provocativeness. These signs of desperate competition fill me with pity.
C.S. Lewis , God in the Dock

Russian Lad
10-10-2012, 15:50
He is bringing his religion into ALL threads here. Ahhh.

MikeyP
10-10-2012, 15:55
No, I would not marry someone I didn't love.

Even in my bachelor days I wasn't promiscuous and I (almost) always had sex within a stable relationship. Even If we were not good as a couple I see no reason why that would stop us being loving parents who get along - i think that serves the child better than a miserable couple!

mrzuzzo
10-10-2012, 16:30
I was waiting for the crazy religious fanatic to reply to this thread...

But honestly, every girl I've slept with was more or less wife material. I don't do the one-night stand thing out of self-respect.

rubyrussia
10-10-2012, 16:46
If you have even an ounce of religious belief, how couldn't you bring up your values and faith in such a situation? That to me is more puzzling.

Sometime Rus commandeers threads with his arguments but here I think he merely contributed an opinion... one you don't like.

Everyone has their level of how much religion they can listen to. I've met some people that were so religious they couldn't even agree that a cup of coffee you were drinking was good. They will tell you that God is good because he made the concept of the bean that was harvested through his creation... or that the cup of coffee is perhaps good, because God is good. This kind of talk I do find annoying and detracting even if I perhaps agree. After all, we are trying to talk about the actual taste of coffee. I don't think rus on THIS topic has done that. On other topics? We'll I think if we looked, we could find a few.

mds45
10-10-2012, 16:50
The question presupposes a number of things. That I have already had sex with her without marriage (and presumably OK with that) for example. So it's already hard to answer as put, because it creates an inconsistent position.

So what is the nature of sex and pregnancy? What do we think we are doing when we "have sex" (a simply retarded euphemism)?


I do agree about the feminine necessity for monogamy:


C.S. Lewis , God in the Dock

As painful as it is to write I do find myself agreeing with rus - again - Kill me !!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaarrrrrgggggggg !!!!!!!!!

rubyrussia
10-10-2012, 17:04
As painful as it is to write I do find myself agreeing with rus - again - Kill me !!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaarrrrrgggggggg !!!!!!!!!

What's wrong with agreeing with a point? Agree with ideas, not with people and you will never have anything to be frustrated or ashamed of. :)

mds45
10-10-2012, 18:07
What's wrong with agreeing with a point? Agree with ideas, not with people and you will never have anything to be frustrated or ashamed of. :)

genereally I would agree with you - but it's rus i'm agreeing with :)

Kartoshka
10-10-2012, 20:42
If I got pregnant, I wouldn't agree to marry my boyfriend. I would rather marry someone who wants to be married to me, rather than someone who wants to get married because it's "the right thing to do".

rusmeister
10-10-2012, 21:02
He is bringing his religion into ALL threads here. Ahhh.

Always will, RL. Just as you bring your irreligion. We all bring one or the other.

rusmeister
10-10-2012, 21:04
As painful as it is to write I do find myself agreeing with rus - again - Kill me !!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaarrrrrgggggggg !!!!!!!!!
You sound like Dark Phoenix from X-Men III...
:D

rusmeister
10-10-2012, 21:06
If I got pregnant, I wouldn't agree to marry my boyfriend. I would rather marry someone who wants to be married to me, rather than someone who wants to get married because it's "the right thing to do".
I can understand that. How do you think your child would feel? Do you think you could COME to love someone who committed themselves to you with their whole life (even if they did so because it was "the right thing to do")?

Russian Lad
10-10-2012, 21:27
I don't do the one-night stand thing out of self-respect.

I presume you don't enjoy hunting or fishing, either, out of self-respect? After all, poor animals do suffer. Just a guess... What is wrong with the good old one-night stand and why would one lose self-respect if he does it? If anything, you are not a girl... Is it you? (see the clip below): ))) Believe me, the women will never reciprocate, they will spit with contempt at your kindness once again and again, deep inside they respect only rough force and unquestionable authority... And how does it go together with the statement you made on another thread?:

Nothing wrong with being proud of one's "accomplishments"!

Ÿ‚и‡кƒ жалко! šавказская пленни†а - YouTube



riginally Posted by Russian Lad
He is bringing his religion into ALL threads here. Ahhh.
Always will, RL. Just as you bring your irreligion. We all bring one or the other.

We are a secular society, my friend, and until it changes you better keep your opinions to the [-]dark, dimly lit closet[/-] boundaries of your religious premises and to your own house's kitchen. If I was a moderator I would simply ban you here, would put you on the site's Ignore List you like so much. Capiche? Hey, mods, the man has just openly admitted he intends on ruining every thread on this forum by bringing his religion into it, just as he has always been doing, are you going to do anything about it?

ezik
10-10-2012, 22:01
Rusmeister brings his opinion in where he thinks it is appropriate. In this case, I saw no ROC position being defended, no quotes from the bible, no preaching. Just a member with his opinion. And I'm happy to say that we have lots of members with an opinion, so we can have good discussions.

Russian Lad, don't be mad. In his reply, Rusmeister gave you enough ammunition to "shoot" back. I might use it before you do, but that's another story...


(...) We are a secular society, my friend, and until it changes you better keep your opinions to the [-]dark, dimly lit closet[/-] boundaries of your religious premises and to your own house's kitchen. If I was a moderator I would simply ban you here, would put you on the site's Ignore List you like so much. Capiche? Hey, mods, the man has just openly admitted he intends on ruining every thread on this forum by bringing his religion into it, just as he has always been doing, are you going to do anything about it?

Russian Lad
10-10-2012, 22:28
Rusmeister brings his opinion in where he thinks it is appropriate. In this case, I saw no ROC position being defended, no quotes from the bible, no preaching. Just a member with his opinion. And I'm happy to say that we have lots of members with an opinion, so we can have good discussions.

Russian Lad, don't be mad. In his reply, Rusmeister gave you enough ammunition to "shoot" back. I might use it before you do, but that's another story...

Well, he keeps copy-pasting from those three authors he has read in his life on every thread that is being started, that's what pisses me off most of all. If I, say, become obsessed with nude pictures, will you appreciate me posting them on every darn thread, whether it is appropriate or not??

ezik
11-10-2012, 00:08
I have no problem with nudity, but we have Bardak for that. :)
I have no problem with religious posts, but we have Religion for that.
In Expat Cafe, supposedly the most relaxed, popular and open forum here, tolerance is bliss.
Rusmeister is not new on the forum and he is smart enough to refrain from preaching in Expat Cafe. That's why he is entitled to express his opinion. If this thread becomes some religious campaign, we'll take measures. But we're not at that stage right now.
And you are just as free to give your opinion on any subject. And if your opinion differs strongly from Rusmeister's, I'd say, go for it! If you think that unmarried sex, or sex that is not aimed at sheer reproduction, is a normal thing in life, you're probably a part of the majority. So why feel restricted?



Well, he keeps copy-pasting from those three authors he has read in his life on every thread that is being started, that's what pisses me off most of all. If I, say, become obsessed with nude pictures, will you appreciate me posting them on every darn thread, whether it is appropriate or not??

Russian Lad
11-10-2012, 00:30
Rusmeister is not new on the forum and he is smart enough to refrain from preaching in Expat Cafe.

As a former pastor by one of my educations I strongly disagree.:) But up to you. Personally, given the recent events with Pussy Riot, I feel like vomiting when anyone begins referring to Christian religion here, especially the Orthodox Christianity like Rus. They are Middle Ages savages to me, certainly worth a ban on respectable forums. Mind it, I may get obsessed with aliens instead of nudity. Are you willing to see references to aliens in every thread and respective copy-pasted material supporting their existence? If yes, I will start tomorrow, if no, ban the dude.

ezik
11-10-2012, 01:09
Define "respectable".

In the Pussy Riot case, just as with the ban on the Jesus Christ Superstar musical in Rostov-on-Don, I think there has been a huge array of opinions. Some of these opinions may be offensive to people on whatever side of any ideological or religious fence. But it is, in my view, a core task of a forum of this kind to allow for as many opinions as possible.

Why? Because the most educational opinion is often not the one you agree with - it is the one that counters yours. Discussion can be chit-chat, but it can be a martial arts just as well. ;)

ROC medieval savages? Argue. Make your point.

I don't mind the label "respectable" at all. Trying to be respectable is hiding in a comfort zone and conveniently ignoring the outside world. It creates forums with prejudiced forum leaders, that rely on labeling rather than an informed view. There are enough forums like that, I would almost suggest one.


As a former pastor by one of my educations I strongly disagree.:) But up to you. Personally, given the recent events with Pussy Riot, I feel like vomiting when anyone begins referring to Christian religion here, especially the Orthodox Christianity like Rus. They are Middle Ages savages to me, certainly worth a ban on respectable forums. Mind it, I may get obsessed with aliens instead of nudity. Are you willing to see references to aliens in every thread and respective copy-pasted material supporting their existence? If yes, I will start tomorrow, if no, ban the dude.

Russian Lad
11-10-2012, 02:15
In the Pussy Riot case, just as with the ban on the Jesus Christ Superstar musical in Rostov-on-Don, I think there has been a huge array of opinions. Some of these opinions may be offensive to people on whatever side of any ideological or religious fence. But it is, in my view, a core task of a forum of this kind to allow for as many opinions as possible.

Why? Because the most educational opinion is often not the one you agree with - it is the one that counters yours. Discussion can be chit-chat, but it can be a martial arts just as well.

I don't think criminals and their sidekick abetters who throw young women behind bars for dancing and singing, however offensive it is, for two years (one can get the same sentence or even much milder for violating traffic rules and killing two people in a car accident), can be entitled to any opinion on a respectable forum, they can only be entitled to testifying and to the last word in a civilized court. It begins with cases like that, then there is a direct downslide to a Pol Pot type regime where skulls of children and women are crushed with hammers because bullets are too expensive. You may argue - why them? Didn't the police arrest them? The answer is simple - the girls were not even detained after this dancing and singing, they were arrested only three days after the clergy began to scream bloody murder. Try to argue with that.:)
Besides, what about the aliens part of my previous post? Rus could have been obsessed with paedophilia or necrophilia instead of Christianity and would be trying to stick in a few words on every thread regarding his favorite subject, you know. So, the question remains - shall I?:)

rusmeister
11-10-2012, 08:05
To RL: if you can't beat 'im, complain about 'im.
In plainer language, since you have no good responses to my comments, since my philosophy is better grounded than yours, you have turned to ad hominem, personal attack.

Nudity and aliens are not cosmic philosophies, although if any aliens bring you such a philosophy; a holistic worldview, I imagine you would be allowed to share that philosophy and even cite the aliens who gave it to you.



Define "respectable".

In the Pussy Riot case, just as with the ban on the Jesus Christ Superstar musical in Rostov-on-Don, I think there has been a huge array of opinions. Some of these opinions may be offensive to people on whatever side of any ideological or religious fence. But it is, in my view, a core task of a forum of this kind to allow for as many opinions as possible.

Why? Because the most educational opinion is often not the one you agree with - it is the one that counters yours. Discussion can be chit-chat, but it can be a martial arts just as well. ;)

ROC medieval savages? Argue. Make your point.

I don't mind the label "respectable" at all. Trying to be respectable is hiding in a comfort zone and conveniently ignoring the outside world. It creates forums with prejudiced forum leaders, that rely on labeling rather than an informed view. There are enough forums like that, I would almost suggest one.

I bolded the critical point. People that only hear their own views wind up in de facto cliques that tend to be ill-informed about anything good or intelligent in what they disagree with - they can say anything about their foes and their fies are not around to objectbto misrepresentation. That DOES lead to bigotry and prejudice. That's why I think it salutary to expose myself to a majority that disagrees with me, rather than hanging out exclusively on an Orthodox forum. Here I am clearly exposed to secular views as they are honestly held. It has the effect of strengthening my belief, because I continue to get unbelief "from the horse's mouth".

Back to RL: If you are so sure of your unbelief, then it ought to have a similar effect on you - a strengthening of your unbelief by a certainty of your correct understanding of the positions of belief. (Although for full credit, you should hang out at and regularly post on an Orthodox forum, abiding by their rules to equal what I do here.)

Back to Ezik - on "respectable", one must define what is worthy of respect. And I think the ability to respect what is good in your opponents, enemies, foes, etc, to be the most intelligent position. An unintelligent person may only respect brute strength. But an intelligent one can respect what is artful, clever, and right about one's foes.

Ready to bring this back to the OP now...

Russian Lad
11-10-2012, 11:14
Nudity and aliens are not cosmic philosophies, although if any aliens bring you such a philosophy; a holistic worldview, I imagine you would be allowed to share that philosophy and even cite the aliens who gave it to you.


I will wait for what the admins will say, but you bet I will if I must. My aliens are more real than your Christ I believe. From now on, every time you squeeze your religion in, I will add some aliens stuff.
I am not attacking you personally, I am attacking your blood-thirsy and savage ideology due to which innocent girls are thrown behind bars for two years for dancing and singing.
You are just a carrier of the disease, I wish to strike at the disease itself, before it turns into endemia.

Potty
11-10-2012, 11:26
:cry::cry: my thread is done...

Inola
11-10-2012, 11:36
I think it's pointless to get married in this situation if it's clear from the start that the union won't last..

Lost in moscow
11-10-2012, 11:45
I find using a child as the main reason to get married, a wrong reason, especially if there were no real plans to stay together.

mds45
11-10-2012, 11:50
I hope aliens exist !!!

Potty
11-10-2012, 11:55
I hope aliens exist !!!

why? to run away from pregnant gf to another planet?

TolkoRaz
11-10-2012, 11:58
Perhaps mds45 wants an 'Out of this World' sexperience with a female alien! :D

mds45
11-10-2012, 12:04
Perhaps mds45 wants an 'Out of this World' sexperience with a female alien! :D

Yes please !! woof woof !!!!!

TolkoRaz
11-10-2012, 12:17
I have heard that they can't wait to sexperience you! ;)

Potty
11-10-2012, 12:20
I have heard that they can't wait to sexperience you! ;)

I have heard it too :p

mds45
11-10-2012, 13:02
yes I have to admit I have certain features that an alien would probably find irrisistable :)

You know those people who claim to have been abducted by aliens, My brother and I tried so hard when we were kids - we went into a field with the intention of staying up until they came - we fell asleep in our tent and missed them :( but we are sure they came because our dog had a funny walk for weeks after !

Potty
11-10-2012, 13:05
My brother and I

your twin brother? ;-)

mds45
11-10-2012, 13:08
your twin brother? ;-)

No , he wishes :)

Kartoshka
11-10-2012, 21:19
Do you think you could COME to love someone who committed themselves to you with their whole life (even if they did so because it was "the right thing to do")?

I don't think that marriage is always about committing your whole life to someone, because it is too easy to get divorced if things don't work out. I suspect that a marriage entered into hastily because of pregnancy would end up being short-lived. And I don't see the point in getting married unless it is likely to be a lifelong commitment.

rusmeister
11-10-2012, 22:18
I don't think that marriage is always about committing your whole life to someone, because it is too easy to get divorced if things don't work out. I suspect that a marriage entered into hastily because of pregnancy would end up being short-lived. And I don't see the point in getting married unless it is likely to be a lifelong commitment.

I certainly agree with that last. The problem is that people don't know what they are doing when they get divorced, because they didn't know what they were doing when they got married in the first place. Unless you enter marriage SEEING that it is a lifelong commitment, that at some point over a married lifetime you're liable to be throwing pots and pans at each other, or whatever, and that that is normal, and that you have to get over that, too - that staying married is vital to everyone involved (and that generally includes your entire community, not just your spouse), then of course, the marriage is at enormous risk, specially if you plan escape clauses (such as "pre-nuptial contracts") before even getting married. What marriage has always been, in the world of common sense, is a vow, not a contract, in a society where vows are to be kept, and oathbreakers held in contempt (and consequently, oaths and vows are not made lightly or frivolously).

BabyFirefly
12-10-2012, 00:14
That's a great recipe to divorce: start you married life with the huge stress and financial burden that is a child. Yeah, maybe it's worked for some, but, at least the people who I know who've done it (it's quite common in my country, where many people are very Catholic and don't use birth control but do screw before marriage!) always end up divorced or miserable in their marriages. There's only two reasons to get married: for love and convenience, or a combination of those.

No, I'd never do it.

rusmeister
12-10-2012, 07:31
That's a great recipe to divorce: start you married life with the huge stress and financial burden that is a child. Yeah, maybe it's worked for some, but, at least the people who I know who've done it (it's quite common in my country, where many people are very Catholic and don't use birth control but do screw before marriage!) always end up divorced or miserable in their marriages. There's only two reasons to get married: for love and convenience, or a combination of those.

No, I'd never do it.

I think you're starting from the wrong end, BF, putting the cart before the horse, so to speak.
When you actually HAVE a child, you are not holding "a financial burden", but a child, bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh, and the burden is a burden of love; and if stress is a terrible thing to be avoided, then one should also avoid employment, even self-employment.

It works for anyone who wants it to work. It works in poverty as well as prosperity.

You speak of people in your country who are "very Catholic" and "do screw before marriage". I believe I know what you mean; that the people surround themselves with the externals of their traditional religion. But itis far from Catholic to be OK with sex outside of marriage, so in those cases it means they really do not believe and accept the teachings of their own Church.

It is precisely those teachings that provide the formula for a happy marriage, and that is almost certainly why the bulk of marriages you describe are unhappy. It means nothing to be a church-goer, surround yourself with candles, icons and/or statues, and yet just live as you please. It is not truly Catholic - or Christian. Nominal belief is worse than no belief. It is mere superstition.

When everyone stays single, everyone ultimately loses. Women occasionally get pregnant, even when "protecting" themselves from someone they ought to be able to love and trust in an act of such intimacy, they murder their babies for their own convenience, or more heroically accept the inconvenience and raise them on their own; men remain alone, high-risk behavior and shorter lifespans are a result, and they never acquire the maturity that comes from the education that the "university" of parenting confers, loneliness in old age when swinging and partying, the endless entertainments get old and even sex becomes a rare thing. Children (the ones permitted to live) lack fathers, and grow up knowing that they've lost out on something. We are all divided from each other, all individuals, without the vital loyalty to a family, without which, we are helpless before the state. The legend of Pavlik Morozov demonstrates this. Pavlik Morozov - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The way out for the vast majority of people is marriage. But what good is that if they can't hold it together, if we see marriage in such a way that divorce is practically inevitable? Here you are right. Marriage WILL fall apart - UNLESS the parties see marriage in a way that will permit them to hold it together when the going gets rough, which is exactly what we have ceased doing and can no longer do. The pre-nuptial contract is the antithesis of the lifelong vow. It is a contingency plan to not keep one's vow and undercuts the determination to keep the vow. So the only way to restore the stability and perspective of the essential and vital institution of marriage, without which we really ARE collectively screwed, is to return to an understanding which will enable us to keep those vows; to throw the contracts into the trash can and determine and swear to do a thing for life, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health - to value our word and the vow, and to hate the breaking of those things.

(That still leaves us with the problem of how to deal with the relationship in the marriage, and here I'd turn to my religion - or even the Catholic religion, not as your acquaintances practice it, but as the Catholic Church tells you it ought to be practiced.)

Potty
12-10-2012, 10:29
You speak of people in your country who are "very Catholic" and "do screw before marriage". I believe I know what you mean; that the people surround themselves with the externals of their traditional religion. But itis far from Catholic to be OK with sex outside of marriage, so in those cases it means they really do not believe and accept the teachings of their own Church.

:agree:

Jas
12-10-2012, 10:43
Very interesting thread P. Here's the thing....... when me partner is making love to me- there's only one thing in my head: impregnate me. Unless I'm thinking about that, I don't get there even. She's got no idea.
I am thinking of volunteering to be a surrogate. Childbirth scares me totally..... but not actually carying child. I cud overcome me fears I think.

Potty
12-10-2012, 10:45
Very interesting thread P. Here's the thing....... when me partner is making love to me- there's only one thing in my head: impregnate me. Also I'm thinking about that, I don't get there even. She's got no idea.

:9456:

RichardB
12-10-2012, 11:07
Very interesting thread P. Here's the thing....... when me partner is making love to me- there's only one thing in my head: impregnate me. Unless I'm thinking about that, I don't get there even. She's got no idea.

Or penis. You need a male for impregnating. And YOU say "She's got no idea"??