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Jas
16-09-2012, 19:39
Been thinking very much about this recently and it really makes u wonder.
I think there has to be companionship and loyalty. There shud be respect at all times and trust also. A husband shud always be kind and patient and he shud never shout or be a bully also. He shud try to see his better half's point of view and not allow himself to be subject to pettiness.
I seek a partner who is ready to share with me all his hopes and dreams and to be my harbor when a storm comes to sweep me away. He will be me knight and we will travel thru this world locked arm in arm- equal and as as one.

Well guys, what do u think? What are the secrets of a good marriage?

scd167
16-09-2012, 19:43
Are you sure there really is such a thing as a "good marriage?"

:11513:

Jas
16-09-2012, 19:48
[QUOTE=scd167;1058816]Are you sure there really is such a thing as a "good marriage?"

QUOTE]

Maybe ure speaking from ure own personal experience?

mds45
16-09-2012, 21:47
Nice to see you back jas !! I would say the secret is to find the right person, it's as simple as that, nothing more complicated.

Dating is invaluable and not putting a time frame is also super important, and living together before you marry is a good thing ( sorry rus - it just is )

Potty
16-09-2012, 21:50
I respect rus' opinion about that.

RichardB
16-09-2012, 22:34
Been thinking very much about this recently and it really makes u wonder.
I think there has to be companionship and loyalty. There shud be respect at all times and trust also. A husband shud always be kind and patient and he shud never shout or be a bully also. He shud try to see his better half's point of view and not allow himself to be subject to pettiness.
I seek a partner who is ready to share with me all his hopes and dreams and to be my harbor when a storm comes to sweep me away. He will be me knight and we will travel thru this world locked arm in arm- equal and as as one.

Well guys, what do u think? What are the secrets of a good marriage?

I thought you were a militant lesbian?

Why the sudden change in sexual preferences?

Is it your plan to marry a male expat (with passport and residency) so you can get yours?


Don't worry, I don't expect any sensible replies from you to these questions...

singhshakti2020
16-09-2012, 22:51
"Adjustment" is a big word in India, not for "successful marriage relation", but for "Long Marriage relation".

1. Just be patient to accept the imperfection of ur partner.

2. Be ready to Adjust in some moments without compromising ur self respect.

3. Don't try to Change ur partner. Accept as they are.

robertmf
16-09-2012, 23:45
"Adjustment" is a big word in India, not for "successful marriage relation", but for "Long Marriage relation".

1. Just be patient to accept the imperfection of ur partner.

2. Be ready to Adjust in some moments without compromising ur self respect.

3. Don't try to Change ur partner. Accept as they are.

Are you married :question: Did you marry within your caste :question:

:watching::watching: In the West we don't feel that need. Our God does not have many arms.

mrzuzzo
17-09-2012, 00:30
I thought you were a militant lesbian?

Why the sudden change in sexual preferences?

Is it your plan to marry a male expat (with passport and residency) so you can get yours?


Don't worry, I don't expect any sensible replies from you to these questions...

^ what he said.

As far as I remember, you were a lesbionic feminazi...

singhshakti2020
17-09-2012, 10:03
God bless you.

Jas
17-09-2012, 10:04
Er, did I ever tell I actually changed me orientation?

Potty
17-09-2012, 10:17
Er, did I ever tell I actually changed me orientation?

are you serious????

Jas
17-09-2012, 12:09
are you serious????

Yes I am totally serious cos I don't think if ure straight u can change or if ure like me and stuff u can change. I no what I am attracted to and that will never change I don't think. I was to a pshcycologist when I was young and she told me parents directly, "Jas has made a life choice." So I was born this way.

andymackem
17-09-2012, 12:12
Been thinking very much about this recently and it really makes u wonder.
I think there has to be companionship and loyalty. There shud be respect at all times and trust also. A husband shud always be kind and patient and he shud never shout or be a bully also. He shud try to see his better half's point of view and not allow himself to be subject to pettiness.
I seek a partner who is ready to share with me all his hopes and dreams and to be my harbor when a storm comes to sweep me away. He will be me knight and we will travel thru this world locked arm in arm- equal and as as one.

Well guys, what do u think? What are the secrets of a good marriage?

Whenever I was sent out to interview couples celebrating their Golden Wedding anniversaries, we always asked them that question. And the answer was always 'a bit of give and take'. Sometimes augmented with 'never go to bed on an argument'. I asked my mother about the latter (she and dad were together for 45 years) and she said if they'd done that neither of them would have slept for months at a time!

But the give and take bit seems to be self-evident: you say your husband should always be able to see your point of view, but at the same time you should be able to see his. And where you differ, both of you need to be adult about it - whether it's seemingly trivial stuff like wanting to watch the football on Saturday, or the biggies like how many kids to have, how / where to bring them up etc.

I also think it's important that any couple has space to breathe: if I'm with my other half 24/7, it gets stifling. Conversation runs dry, because she is having no new experience that wasn't already shared with me. It might seem cliched to come home in the evening and ask about her day, but it's a conversation starter. If we share every activity, there's no point asking about her day because I was there and I saw it all. Locked arm in arm, as you put it, evokes the whole 'ball and chain' image, which is far from what I would wish for in a relationship. That's why she shouldn't feel she has to care about the football, and I shouldn't feel I have to care about another pair of shoes (cliche alert, but you get my point). We're maintaining our space, our friendships, our personalities, as well as creating our collective space. I don't believe that is impossible or unrealistic, but maybe it is the ideal I'm still seeking.

penka
17-09-2012, 12:50
Hmmm, I, for some strangest reason cannot vanquish the impression that Jas' evil twin has been/is married...... Must be my bad cold interfering with the brain activity.....

mrzuzzo
17-09-2012, 12:56
Yes I am totally serious cos I don't think if ure straight u can change or if ure like me and stuff u can change. I no what I am attracted to and that will never change I don't think. I was to a pshcycologist when I was young and she told me parents directly, "Jas has made a life choice." So I was born this way.

Am I the only one that couldn't understand the meaning of said sentence??

RichardB
17-09-2012, 13:04
Am I the only one that couldn't understand the meaning of said sentence??

Utter gobbledegook

Jas
17-09-2012, 13:09
Utter gobbledegook

Certain people will never have wives who stick around. And who could blame anyone smart enough to get away?

Jas
17-09-2012, 13:13
Locked arm in arm, as you put it, evokes the whole 'ball and chain' image, which is far from what I would wish for in a relationship. That's why she shouldn't feel she has to care about the football, and I shouldn't feel I have to care about another pair of shoes (cliche alert, but you get my point). We're maintaining our space, our friendships, our personalities, as well as creating our collective space. I don't believe that is impossible or unrealistic, but maybe it is the ideal I'm still seeking.

I agree with u cos I think Andy, people can be united as one against the world but still ready to give enough space for the other person. Like me, I can be a loyal wife as such and bring him only honor but there are also aspects of me life that are totally private and will always be no go areas for him. As long as I am honest at the outset, that's me obligation finished. So I wud expect to be living apart perhaps for a significant amount of time.

RichardB
17-09-2012, 13:30
Certain people will never have wives who stick around. And who could blame anyone smart enough to get away?

At least I've never lowered my standards to gutter level to have to find someone to marry me so I could stay in a country.

Pathetic.

annasophia
17-09-2012, 14:20
Jas, it was good while it lasted, but you've run your schtick just about as far as it will go here.

Good luck, bienviendo, adios, dosvedanya, au revoir.

Kiss goodnight and say goodbye.

I do believe your welcome is very nearly worn out here in at least three languages, English not being your specialty of the day. (novelist or not)

Hope you find what you're looking for, some day somewhere. This place is not it.


-Here's 2 U finding piece and happiness cos u deserve it-:queen:

mds45
17-09-2012, 14:27
At least I've never lowered my standards to gutter level to have to find someone to marry me so I could stay in a country.

Pathetic.

Clearly Jas is different and unusual and if I may say so without offending her - strange - and sure there is a slim possibility that she is not what she seems !

But what I don't understand is why she winds you up so much and why you always find the need to attack her ? '

If she's as mad as you think why are you throwing stones at her? and if she's anything else you may think she is why bother at all with her? You don't seem to ba able to resist any opportunity to write negative things.

I like her funny crazy mad posts and take many with a pinch of salt and smile at others, I don't think ( hope) I'm not alone ! I will honestly say it has been quite dull around here since she to her hiatus.
Even rus bashing has got boring and that leaves nothing else except teachers problems and visa issues which have lost there shine too..

Jas
17-09-2012, 14:33
Jas, it was good while it lasted, but you've run your schtick just about as far as it will go here.

Good luck, bienviendo, adios, dosvedanya, au revoir.

Kiss goodnight and say goodbye.

I do believe your welcome is very nearly worn out here in at least three languages, English not being your specialty of the day. (novelist or not)

Hope you find what you're looking for, some day somewhere. This place is not it.


-Here's 2 U finding piece and happiness cos u deserve it-:queen:



Wudn't it have been easier if u never even said hello? I certainly don't remember posting on anything u put up, or even bothering to read ure stuff.
So I guess it's bye then.
Tehe.

The post is about marriage and if u just want to ramble- then why post at all?

mrzuzzo
17-09-2012, 14:34
Jas' selfishness is absolutely outrageous and disgusting.

How can one be so self-centered? Jas, I highly recommend you go see a shrink.

Jas
17-09-2012, 14:34
Clearly Jas is different and unusual and if I may say so without offending her - strange - and sure there is a slim possibility that she is not what she seems !

But what I don't understand is why she winds you up so much and why you always find the need to attack her ? '

If she's as mad as you think why are you throwing stones at her? and if she's anything else you may think she is why bother at all with her? You don't seem to ba able to resist any opportunity to write negative things.

I like her funny crazy mad posts and take many with a pinch of salt and smile at others, I don't think ( hope) I'm not alone ! I will honestly say it has been quite dull around here since she to her hiatus.
Even rus bashing has got boring and that leaves nothing else except teachers problems and visa issues which have lost there shine too..


I am not offended MD in any way.

Jas
17-09-2012, 14:36
Jas' selfishness is absolutely outrageous and disgusting.

How can one be so self-centered? Jas, I highly recommend you go see a shrink.

Er, what are u talking about? I just don't get it at all. I done a post to ask about marriage and u just start freaking out again. I got all the freedom in the world to make whatever choices I want\need to make thanks. I dunno why that's a issue for u. Do u?

Selfish? How can u even think that? I just left me cat behind and was crying for days. The last sixty roubles I had to me name last month I spent on cat food for Starfire. U think that's a selfish person? I think maybe u dont know good English and are not even sure of the world somehow.

mds45
17-09-2012, 14:45
I am not offended MD in any way.

Happy to hear it Jas :)

mrzuzzo
17-09-2012, 14:57
Er, what are u talking about? I just don't get it at all. I done a post to ask about marriage and u just start freaking out again. I got all the freedom in the world to make whatever choices I want\need to make thanks. I dunno why that's a issue for u. Do u?

It's an issue because I cannot tolerate selfishness in people. All you think about is yourself, how the relationship will please you, how you will benefit from it. You don't even like men, and want to get married to profit from it in some way. You don't want to give, you only want to take. I can't stand people like that.



Selfish? How can u even think that? I just left me cat behind and was crying for days. The last sixty roubles I had to me name last month I spent on cat food for Starfire. U think that's a selfish person?

If you have 2$ in savings, I suggest you stop posting your BS on expat.ru and go get a job. Am I supposed to feel sorry for you right now?



I think maybe u dont know good English and are not even sure of the world somehow.

I don't know good English? Oh, the irony, the irony...

RichardB
17-09-2012, 17:22
Been thinking very much about this recently and it really makes u wonder.
I think there has to be companionship and loyalty... Well guys, what do u think? What are the secrets of a good marriage?

Jaz posted her original comment.



I thought you were a militant lesbian?

Why the sudden change in sexual preferences?

Is it your plan to marry a male expat (with passport and residency) so you can get yours?


Don't worry, I don't expect any sensible replies from you to these questions...

I then replied to it. Note there is no attack in my reply.



Utter gobbledegook

I then replied to a quote by mrzuzzo



Certain people will never have wives who stick around. And who could blame anyone smart enough to get away?

Jaz then made a personal attack on me



At least I've never lowered my standards to gutter level to have to find someone to marry me so I could stay in a country.

Pathetic.

I then replied to her attack



...But what I don't understand is why she winds you up so much and why you always find the need to attack her ? '

If she's as mad as you think why are you throwing stones at her? and if she's anything else you may think she is why bother at all with her? You don't seem to ba able to resist any opportunity to write negative things.

...and that leaves nothing else except teachers problems and visa issues which have lost there shine too..


Now, tell me mds45, who attacked who first?

Potty
17-09-2012, 17:28
Now, tell me mds45, who attacked who first?

Richard, darling. Do you really need the answer to this question? Does it bother you? Is it important for you? Why? Why why why???

RichardB
17-09-2012, 17:33
Richard, darling. Do you really need the answer to this question? Does it bother you? Is it important for you? Why? Why why why???

Yes petal?

No I don't, yes it does, yes it is.

I was simply pointing out to mds45 that his view is wrong.

Because, because, because, because.


:D

Potty
17-09-2012, 17:41
Yes petal?
who?


Because, because, because, because.
:D
the wonderful things she does

mds45
17-09-2012, 17:42
Jaz posted her original comment.




I then replied to it. Note there is no attack in my reply.




I then replied to a quote by mrzuzzo




Jaz then made a personal attack on me




I then replied to her attack





Now, tell me mds45, who attacked who first?

Can't you just let it flow over you and laugh it off - you have to watch your heart at your age :P , I can almost here the steam coming out of your ears sometimes :)

RichardB
17-09-2012, 17:45
Can't you just let it flow over you and laugh it off - you have to watch your heart at your age :P , I can almost here the steam coming out of your ears sometimes :)

:D :D

She does rile me sometimes, other times I just roll my eyes and the remainder I pity her.

Heart? I'm still 37 I'll have you know!

RichardB
17-09-2012, 17:46
the wonderful things she does

So I've heard ;)

mds45
17-09-2012, 17:49
:D :D

She does rile me sometimes, other times I just roll my eyes and the remainder I pity her.

Heart? I'm still 37 I'll have you know!

Ah yes the eye rolling - she's made me dizzy some days I've rolled so much :) but deep down she just looking for some contact/friends and a laugh :)

RichardB
17-09-2012, 17:59
...but deep down she just looking for some contact/friends and a laugh :)

Then she needs to relearn how to make friends. Her incredibly selfish attitude won't win her many friends and her wild claims about IETS 9.0 scores, grammar assistance, being a British citizen, alcoholic etc only serve to make her look a fool in the eyes of everyone else. All of her threads and posts scream "look at me me me" to the rest of the forum. She can't see past her own little world.

When was the last time she answered a post from someone looking for help with visas / TRP / best place to buy something? Never....

Please Jas, read this, learn from it, start being a lot less selfish and actually help others instead of bombarding the boards with threads about (for instance) marriage. You started 3 thread in the space of 10 minutes this morning - all basically about the same thing.

TolkoRaz
17-09-2012, 18:20
Then she needs to relearn how to make friends. Her incredibly selfish attitude won't win her many friends and her wild claims about IETS 9.0 scores, grammar assistance, being a British citizen, alcoholic etc only serve to make her look a fool in the eyes of everyone else. All of her threads and posts scream "look at me me me" to the rest of the forum. She can't see past her own little world.

When was the last time she answered a post from someone looking for help with visas / TRP / best place to buy something? Never....

Please Jas, read this, learn from it, start being a lot less selfish and actually help others instead of bombarding the boards with threads about (for instance) marriage. You started 3 thread in the space of 10 minutes this morning - all basically about the same thing.

Make sure you don't fall off your high horse; it could hurt! :p

May be she will also learn to help others by bringing tea to Moscow! :p :p

FFS, what help have you given people apart from offering to bring tea to Moscow? LOL! :D

I mean, I am sure that I saw tea being sold in the local supermarkets or was it all a dream! :eek:

Potty
17-09-2012, 18:24
So I've heard ;)

that you are a petal?

TolkoRaz
17-09-2012, 18:30
Well, judging by a photo he posted recently, he wears a skirt! :eek:

Jas
17-09-2012, 19:31
Well, judging by a photo he posted recently, he wears a skirt! :eek:


U know, as always, the thread has got nothing to do with me. Why make it about me? It's just a thread about how marriage works. If u dont want to comment on that, then no need to stay on the thread. Er, clearly the trolling against me doesn't work cos I couldn't care less even.

So let's get back to marriage....
It's about sharing stuff, like interests, points of view, and most of all sharing some kind of common objective. Now the last but is really interesting because as I can see it, so long as a partnership both share some goal- then its a real marriage. In other ways it may have its quirks, like if they dont actually sleep together- lets say she doesn't want and he doesn't want also- and they have private worlds as such, but who is to judge? It's society if u need to blame someone....

TolkoRaz
17-09-2012, 19:46
So, how do I successfully romance a Lesbian? :rasta:

I suppose, first, I must find one who drinks beer and likes rugby - then at least we will have something in common :10310:

Jas
17-09-2012, 19:49
So, how do I successfully romance a Lesbian? :rasta:

I suppose, first, I must find one who drinks beer and likes rugby - then at least we will have something in common :10310:

Mmm, how about Thai Kick boxing?

TolkoRaz
17-09-2012, 20:40
Mmm, how about Thai Kick boxing?

LOL! That's about the only way we would get sweaty together and would be a very good way to settle arguments!

Not sure about how long my ornaments would last though! :eek:

NotMe
17-09-2012, 21:23
If you have 2$ in savings, I suggest you stop posting your BS on expat.ru and go get a job. Am I supposed to feel sorry for you right now?

Probably I missed something, but it looks like Jas is not looking for anyone's sympathy. :)

Maybe I am wrong, but something tells me, that she will survive even if finds herself without any savings. ;)

singhshakti2020
17-09-2012, 22:38
For a good marriage -

1. Eat good food.

2. Take good Sleep.

3. Drink plenty of water & Lemonade.

4. Eat "Острые крылышки" from KFC.

5. Watch "Disco Dancer" n sing song "Jimmy Jimmy" together.

6. Have seperate laptop for each.

7. Cook ur food by urself, because no one know & no one want to learn.

8. Speak only English, because no one know & no one want to learn russian n many Indian languages.

TolkoRaz
17-09-2012, 23:06
Maybe I am wrong, but something tells me, that she will survive even if finds herself without any savings. ;)

She'll be fine; they breed them strong in the SWAT Valley! :10310:

mrzuzzo
17-09-2012, 23:49
I can't imagine having a wife and not having epic sex with her every night. It just doesn't make sense to me.

When all else fails, sex always makes up for it. :)

sashadidi
18-09-2012, 04:17
I suppose, first, I must find one who drinks beer and likes rugby - then at least we will have something in common :10310: Tolko go to New Zealand, you will be" in like Flynn" with many of the lady rugby fans there.

robertmf
18-09-2012, 04:25
Tolko go to New Zealand, you will be" in like Flynn" with many of the lady rugby fans there.

"In like Flynn" is a slang phrase meaning "having completed a goal or gained access as desired". In addition to its general use, the phrase is sometimes used to describe success in sexual seduction, and its folk etymology often asserts the phrase has sexual origins.

In like Flynn - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

There's also the movie "In Like Flint" in similar context.

sashadidi
18-09-2012, 07:08
"In like Flynn" is a slang phrase meaning "having completed a goal or gained access as desired". In addition to its general use, the phrase is sometimes used to describe success in sexual seduction, and its folk etymology often asserts the phrase has sexual origins.

In like Flynn - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_like_Flynn)

There's also the movie "In Like Flint" in similar context.

yep Errol Flynn is the man.

robertmf
18-09-2012, 07:21
yep Errol Flynn is the man.

He is dead. We only have Tolko Errol Flynn Raz

Jas
18-09-2012, 10:11
Probably I missed something, but it looks like Jas is not looking for anyone's sympathy. :)

Maybe I am wrong, but something tells me, that she will survive even if finds herself without any savings. ;)

I really been thru a lot and I know how to plan stuff out. I wudn't be returning to Russia if I didn't have money (from me mum) and a place to stay that is stable and safe (with me partner).
I got all the odds against me, yes..... but I will be ok in the end.

Thanks for being positive!!

Potty
18-09-2012, 11:26
I can't imagine having a wife and not having epic sex with her every night. It just doesn't make sense to me.

When all else fails, sex always makes up for it. :)

Don't forget to tell her before wedding that "not having epic sex with you every night doesn't make sense to me" :)

Jas
18-09-2012, 13:22
Don't forget to tell her before wedding that "not having epic sex with you every night doesn't make sense to me" :)

Is he capable of epic sex?

Potty
18-09-2012, 13:38
Is he capable of epic sex?

i guess whatever he is capable of would be epic))

Gypsy
18-09-2012, 13:38
Been thinking very much about this recently and it really makes u wonder.
I think there has to be companionship and loyalty. There shud be respect at all times and trust also. A husband shud always be kind and patient and he shud never shout or be a bully also. He shud try to see his better half's point of view and not allow himself to be subject to pettiness.
I seek a partner who is ready to share with me all his hopes and dreams and to be my harbor when a storm comes to sweep me away. He will be me knight and we will travel thru this world locked arm in arm- equal and as as one.

Well guys, what do u think? What are the secrets of a good marriage?

First you have to like each other. Not love - that's easy. But like.

You have to enjoy being with each other. I'm not talking about passion, but enjoyment.

And you must respect each other. Respect is vital.

Now, add that to romance, passion etc and you got yourself a marriage that will last.

I may be wrong, but we'd been married 22 years when I lost my wife and those things above pretty much summed up why we lasted that long.

mrzuzzo
18-09-2012, 13:56
i guess whatever he is capable of would be epic))

Indeed it would be epic.

I'm a sex maniac really, I can't help it.

The only epic sex you can have though, is with the one who you really love.


Sent from my iPhone

natlee
18-09-2012, 15:00
First you have to like each other. Not love - that's easy. But like.

You have to enjoy being with each other. I'm not talking about passion, but enjoyment.

And you must respect each other. Respect is vital. Ohhh.

natlee
18-09-2012, 15:01
The only epic sex you can have though, is with the one who you really love. Are you real?! :eek:

Potty
18-09-2012, 15:38
The only epic sex you can have though, is with the one who you really love.


I disagree, but oh well...

mrzuzzo
18-09-2012, 16:16
I disagree, but oh well...

Most married people tend to disagree with me on this issue... I don't know, maybe I'll get bored of it when I'll find a wife...

But I can tell you right now I'm over the period when I just want sex non-stop (when men are 18-22yrs old).. Now I want only good sex non-stop. And the quality of it seems to have quite a bit to do with the feelings of the parties involved.

natlee
18-09-2012, 16:20
Most married people tend to disagree with me on this issue... I don't know, maybe I'll get bored of it when I'll find a wife...

But I can tell you right now I'm over the period when I just want sex non-stop (when men are 18-22yrs old).. Now I want only good sex non-stop. And the quality of it seems to have quite a bit to do with the feelings of the parties involved. Damn you! I'm trying to be happy with my new single status here!!

Potty
18-09-2012, 16:28
Most married people tend to disagree with me on this issue... I don't know, maybe I'll get bored of it when I'll find a wife....

no, I meant for some people high quality sex is possible with someone who they don't care of much. People are different.

natlee
18-09-2012, 17:29
no, I meant for some people high quality sex is possible with someone who they don't care of much. People are different. High quality sex! I'm so stealing the phrase :D Jokes aside, I'll have to agree with mrzuzzo, dammit. You don't necessarily have to love the person the kind of love that happens overtime, but being 'in love', caring for the person, feeling good and comfy next to him/her, sex or no sex.. definitely helps. (Now where's my афобазол, sob!)

Krolick
18-09-2012, 17:50
I think there things I mentioned in the title can make one's marriage a good one.

By patience I mean just patience. It is not possible to build a long-term relations without tolerating lots of things and be patient. Without it life would be just endless starting and ending of relation because there are no ideal men and no ideal women.

By common view on fundamental things I mean shared ideas of what a marriage and a family should be and of many many other things. If a woman needs a father for her children and cozy home and wants a man to be a "hunter" that will bring "lion's skin to her feet" and a man needs a partner and companion, interesting person, equal to him in everything, then it is hardly possible to build a happy marriage.

By intimate harmony I mean harmony in sex life, ability to discuss any problems that may appear.

natlee
18-09-2012, 17:53
ability to discuss any problems that may appear. Have you EVER met a man talented in THAT department?! I want the number! :bowdown:

Potty
18-09-2012, 18:22
(Now where's my афобазол, sob!)

By the way, some antidepressants may decrease libido.

IGIT
18-09-2012, 19:23
Certainly there is no "fix-all manual" on what makes a good marriage.
In my own books, marriage is "voluntary slavery" and above all, I think commitment is certainly key. If you ain't committed to it, you ain't gonna stay in it. Question is, what does it mean to be committed?

Jas
18-09-2012, 19:30
Certainly there is no "fix-all manual" on what makes a good marriage.
In my own books, marriage is "voluntary slavery" and above all, I think commitment is certainly key. If you ain't committed to it, you ain't gonna stay in it. Question is, what does it mean to be committed?

I think it means u have something worth committing to. This is why I keep talking about shared goals and stuff.

IGIT
18-09-2012, 19:37
I think it means u have something worth committing to. This is why I keep talking about shared goals and stuff.
"shared goals and stuff" is fine but what do you do when you get to a point where you feel you are not getting "enough" in return. How exactly do you know that your (or your spouse's) goal is shared? How do you balance this up?

Jas
18-09-2012, 19:53
"shared goals and stuff" is fine but what do you do when you get to a point where you feel you are not getting "enough" in return. How exactly do you know that your (or your spouse's) goal is shared? How do you balance this up?

Well in my case I wud have a kind of agreement. I want x,y, and z and we got to work together on that. If not, then I wudn't be getting married I don't think.

Other people wud be stuff like get a house, a good life, a family- like that- its not only my way of thinking that needs a agreement before entering into it.

Jas
18-09-2012, 19:56
Oh and if u all want a real laugh...... me dad is advertising me on a certain Pakistani Muslim marriage site again. There's this miserable pic of me just staring at the camera looking glum that they must have uploaded- without me consent of course.

And people wonder why I drink?

TolkoRaz
18-09-2012, 21:16
Oh and if u all want a real laugh...... me dad is advertising me on a certain Pakistani Muslim marriage site again. There's this miserable pic of me just staring at the camera looking glum that they must have uploaded- without me consent of course.

And people wonder why I drink?

You must have been in Russia too long! ;)

Judge
18-09-2012, 21:23
What makes a good marriage?

Understanding each other well, I mean what the person needs and adapting to one another, sharing the same interests, this takes a few years..... Give space to your wife/husband...space is needed, even being OK with your partner going on holiday with friends, this way your partner starts to miss you like crazy and can't wait to be back in your arms.
No real need to mention trust, if you have no trust then you have nothing.

Krolick
18-09-2012, 21:59
Have you EVER met a man talented in THAT department?! I want the number! :bowdown:

Can't give his number. He's already occupied ;)

Krolick
18-09-2012, 22:03
What makes a good marriage?

...space is needed

Agree 100%. My friends always look at me with round eyes when I say we have separate holidays at least once a year. They think it's weird. But it is actually like a second honey moon afterwards ;)

And in everyday life personal space is important to stay ourselves in the very first place.

TolkoRaz
18-09-2012, 22:07
Agree 100%. My friends always look at me with round eyes when I say we have separate holidays at least once a year.

I hope he pays! :bookworm:

natlee
18-09-2012, 22:07
Can't give his number. He's already occupied ;) Ah well, taken or gay, what's new? ;)

PeteD
18-09-2012, 22:47
Have you EVER met a man talented in THAT department?! I want the number! :bowdown:

Ahem....

Ibanez
19-09-2012, 22:40
Tolko go to New Zealand, you will be" in like Flynn" with many of the lady rugby fans there.

Or South Africa...

MickeyTong
19-09-2012, 23:27
Or South Africa...

Here se gat, man! Die boeremeisies naai soos Kaapstad hoere op 'n Saterdag aand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcXNPI-IPPM&list=FLcGdGh5sPHTbHT0ZN0fThHA&index=25&feature=plpp_video

Jas
20-09-2012, 10:45
South Africa is never a place I wud want to visit and stuff. Only place I wud like to go in Africa is Egypt cos I know everything about ancient egypt.

Inola
20-09-2012, 12:38
South Africa is never a place I wud want to visit and stuff. Only place I wud like to go in Africa is Egypt cos I know everything about ancient egypt.

The modern Egypt has little in common with the ancient one, like the modern Greece with the ancient Ellada, or the modern Italy with the ancient Rome...

Jas
20-09-2012, 12:48
The modern Egypt has little in common with the ancient one, like the modern Greece with the ancient Ellada, or the modern Italy with the ancient Rome...

Yes, but I wud just stay away from all the horrible stuff and go to the pyramids, to the temples, and to the museums. I wud like to sail down the Nile also and go to Luxor cos that was ancient Thebes. But about all the squalor and men just hassling u- then I agree- it's gross.

natlee
20-09-2012, 15:10
Yes, but I wud just stay away from all the horrible stuff and go to the pyramids, to the temples, and to the museums. I wud like to sail down the Nile also and go to Luxor cos that was ancient Thebes. But about all the squalor and men just hassling u- then I agree- it's gross. I've been to Luxor - nearly got us all murdered on the way by getting into a fight with my bf at the time and getting out of the car mid 'jam' :eek: