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View Full Version : can i hear your best joke???!!!



candy888
28-06-2012, 21:43
hey guys!!!
just feeling not so awesome tonight.or maybe just tired.
but hey, can you share a small or funny but not hurtful jokes you have there,just to make some good mood..lol
you can share also some funny thing (but not so embarrassing) that actually happened to u and you feel like sharing it!!!go ahead!lets paint the night with bunch of laughter...bwahaha :fudd: :D

w.meijerink
29-06-2012, 01:27
hey guys!!!
just feeling not so awesome tonight.or maybe just tired.
but hey, can you share a small or funny but not hurtful jokes you have there,just to make some good mood..lol
you can share also some funny thing (but not so embarrassing) that actually happened to u and you feel like sharing it!!!go ahead!lets paint the night with bunch of laughter...bwahaha :fudd: :D

Oke i will try......

Italy - germany EC 2012 2-0:D

TolkoRaz
29-06-2012, 20:08
Whats the capital of Greece?








































1 Euro 20 Cents! ;)

rusmeister
29-06-2012, 21:02
How about an American Navy ship that was unable to destroy a log and was forced to sail off and leave it? (True story)

candy888
29-06-2012, 21:31
How about an American Navy ship that was unable to destroy a log and was forced to sail off and leave it? (True story)
really..the log must be something..lol some history i guess,,

w.meijerink
29-06-2012, 21:41
Why does Belgium policemen walking with dogs?
























2 know more than 1

w.meijerink
29-06-2012, 21:42
Whats the capital of Greece?


1 Euro 20 Cents! ;)

thought 1 rubble?

SV1973a
29-06-2012, 21:48
Why does Belgium policemen walking with dogs?
























2 know more than 1

But at the least the Belgians can count and know that policemEn and a dog is definitely 3 or more.

Ibanez
29-06-2012, 21:58
At the passport control at Athens airport:

Immigration officer: name please?

Angela Merkel

Immigration officer: Occupation?

No - just visiting...

w.meijerink
29-06-2012, 22:07
Policemen with one stripe = I can read
Policemen with Two stripes = I can write
Policemen with 3 stripes = I know somebody who can read or write.....

candy888
29-06-2012, 22:16
Policemen with one stripe = I can read
Policemen with Two stripes = I can write
Policemen with 3 stripes = I know somebody who can read or write.....
hehe

TolkoRaz
29-06-2012, 22:23
At the passport control at Athens airport:

Immigration officer: name please?

Angela Merkel

Immigration officer: Occupation?

No - just visiting...

LOL! :D Very good!

Could be said about Putin or Obama to! ;)

w.meijerink
29-06-2012, 23:24
LOL! :D Very good!

Could be said about Putin or Obama to! ;)
No I think they will come and tell them to take the Dollar or the Rubble:rolleyes:

w.meijerink
29-06-2012, 23:33
Our Socialist minister can ask 3 questions to our God....
The first question is do we have enough to eat in the future;
And God answer; Don't worry my friend food enough for everyone
The second question he ask O, my lord are there many socialist in 2015
And God answer; Everybody in the world are socialist
He was very surprice about that answer everyone a socialist, o my God great......
But my dear God when everybody in the world is socialist how much we will have to pay for one bread here in Holland?
And God answer;21 rubble:jester:
:emote_popcorn:

yakspeare
30-06-2012, 07:52
Rus' story reminded me of my time on patrol boats. There was a lot of tension at the time about illegal fishing from indonesia and illegal immigrants coming by boat. typical rhetoric from the right was "turn them around" or "blow them out of the water" etc.

We captured an indonesian fishing crew and their boat. upon looking at their boat we decided it was a quarantine risk so had to be destroyed.

So while the indonesians watched on from the safety of our vessel, we had a bit of fun with paint and drew targets on theirs and then aimed all our weapons at it in "We will show you what we can do".

We blasted that fishing boat with everything we had, 40mm bofor, .5 cal machine gun, minimi machine gun, Steyr rifles and so on. the damn thing wouldn't break apart and sink.

Then we send a crew over with axes to try and break it up-we couldn't leave the mess floating as it was a shipping hazard in a known area for trawlers.

Then we blasted it again with our weapons and it still wouldn't break up.

Finally we decided to tow it behind us at max speed(about 28 knots) for it to break up that way. By this time the Indonesians were impressed with the strength of their little boat.

So we towed it behind us, actually for 2 days, and the friggin thing acted like a waterski or surfboard behind us. Nothing was going to sink this boat-now we had the Indonesians cheering it. Some of us too had respect for indonesian boat construction.

Eventually we brought it back to Australia and handed it over to the quarantine service who lookd at us rather perplexed. There first question was "What is it?" as by that stage it looke like just a mass of wood-a mass of wood that wouldn't sink and surfed great.

candy888
30-06-2012, 10:52
Our Socialist minister can ask 3 questions to our God....
The first question is do we have enough to eat in the future;
And God answer; Don't worry my friend food enough for everyone
The second question he ask O, my lord are there many socialist in 2015
And God answer; Everybody in the world are socialist
He was very surprice about that answer everyone a socialist, o my God great......
But my dear God when everybody in the world is socialist how much we will have to pay for one bread here in Holland?
And God answer;21 rubble:jester:
:emote_popcorn:


lol...21 ruble,some bakeshop offer..:tv:

w.meijerink
30-06-2012, 14:47
lol...21 ruble,some bakeshop offer..:tv:
Buy one steel 2 and you have the same price like 5 years ago.

w.meijerink
30-06-2012, 15:30
Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, "No way, ten dollars is ten dollars."

The years went pay, and Bob figured he didn't have much longer, so he got Sue out to the show, explaining, it's free to watch, let's at least watch. And once he got there the feeling become real strong. Sue and Bob started an arguement.

The Pilot, between flights, overheard, listened to they problem, and said, "I'll tell you what, I'll take you up flying, and if you don't say a word the ride is on me, but if you back one sound, you pay ten dollars.

So off they flew. The Pilot doing as many rolls, and dives as he could--heading to the ground as fast as the plane could go, and pulling out of the dive at just the very last second. Not a word. Finally he admited defeat and went back the airport.

"I'm surprised, why didn't you say anything?"

"Well I almost said something when Sue fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars." :7525:

markmarkov
30-06-2012, 22:04
Grandpa Gets Audited

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.' Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and piss into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. :jawdrop:

Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

candy888
01-07-2012, 08:41
Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, "No way, ten dollars is ten dollars."

The years went pay, and Bob figured he didn't have much longer, so he got Sue out to the show, explaining, it's free to watch, let's at least watch. And once he got there the feeling become real strong. Sue and Bob started an arguement.

The Pilot, between flights, overheard, listened to they problem, and said, "I'll tell you what, I'll take you up flying, and if you don't say a word the ride is on me, but if you back one sound, you pay ten dollars.

So off they flew. The Pilot doing as many rolls, and dives as he could--heading to the ground as fast as the plane could go, and pulling out of the dive at just the very last second. Not a word. Finally he admited defeat and went back the airport.

"I'm surprised, why didn't you say anything?"

"Well I almost said something when Sue fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars." :7525:

..this is cute..hehe i like it :cheerleader:

candy888
01-07-2012, 08:46
Grandpa Gets Audited

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.' Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and piss into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. :jawdrop:

Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'


...no,i like this one better..lol i just remember my grandma when i was a kid,she used to pissed infront of us,standing near.lol :cheerleader:

jamb
01-07-2012, 09:52
Why do cows like being told jokes?








Because they like being amoosed!

jamb
01-07-2012, 09:53
How do you take a pig to hospital?







By hambulance!

jamb
01-07-2012, 09:54
What do you call a sheep with no legs or head?






A cloud!

candy888
02-07-2012, 19:12
doctor: why u look so weak and exhausted?!! r u having 3 meals a day as i have told u?

patient: oh gosh!! i thought u said 3 males a day!!!







:rules:

candy888
02-07-2012, 19:21
man: doctor, help me! i forget many things!!!

doctor: since when u have that problem?

man: what problem?!!!!






:trampoline:

--------------------------
...the innocent and beautiful has no enemies..except time.

OzPara
02-07-2012, 20:05
Two polar bears, mamma-bear and baby-bear, are sitting in the ice floe one day when baby-bear looks up at mama-bear and says

"Mama, what sort of bear am I?"

"Why, you're a polar bear of course!"

"Mama, are you sure I'm a polar bear?"

"Well Baby, I'm a polar bear, your papa is a polar bear, and our parents were polar bears. So, yes I'm sure you are a polar bear."

"I couldn't be a grizzly bear?"

"No dear, grizzly bears are brown and live in America. You're a polar bear!"

"What about a panda bear? Couldn't I be a panda?"

"No Baby, pandas live in China and eat bamboo. There's no way you are a panda - you are a polar bear and that's all there is to it!"

Baby-bear sits and thinks about this for a minute then says

"What about an Asia bear? Could I be an Asian bear?"

"NO! You're a polar bear!"

"Oh... So I couldn't be a koala bear?"

Mama-bear almost chokes on the fish she has been eating, Spitting it out, she is now furious with baby-bear.

"Baby! Koalas aren't even a bear! You... are... a... polar... bear! Got it? You're not a grizzly bear, or a panda, or an Asian bear. And you're certainly not some doped up marsupial from Australia! You're a polar bear - polar bears live on the ice and eat fish. WE live in the ice and eat fish; You're a POLAR BEAR!!! Now, I don't want to hear any more of these silly questions! What's got into you anyway? What's with all these questions about what type of bear are you?"

Baby-bear is almost in tears as he pulls himself closer to his mother and whispers....








"Mama if I'm a polar bear, then why....












am I so****ing COLD???"

candy888
02-07-2012, 22:48
Two polar bears, mamma-bear and baby-bear, are sitting in the ice floe one day when baby-bear looks up at mama-bear and says

"Mama, what sort of bear am I?"

"Why, you're a polar bear of course!"

"Mama, are you sure I'm a polar bear?"

"Well Baby, I'm a polar bear, your papa is a polar bear, and our parents were polar bears. So, yes I'm sure you are a polar bear."

"I couldn't be a grizzly bear?"

"No dear, grizzly bears are brown and live in America. You're a polar bear!"

"What about a panda bear? Couldn't I be a panda?"

"No Baby, pandas live in China and eat bamboo. There's no way you are a panda - you are a polar bear and that's all there is to it!"

Baby-bear sits and thinks about this for a minute then says

"What about an Asia bear? Could I be an Asian bear?"

"NO! You're a polar bear!"

"Oh... So I couldn't be a koala bear?"

Mama-bear almost chokes on the fish she has been eating, Spitting it out, she is now furious with baby-bear.

"Baby! Koalas aren't even a bear! You... are... a... polar... bear! Got it? You're not a grizzly bear, or a panda, or an Asian bear. And you're certainly not some doped up marsupial from Australia! You're a polar bear - polar bears live on the ice and eat fish. WE live in the ice and eat fish; You're a POLAR BEAR!!! Now, I don't want to hear any more of these silly questions! What's got into you anyway? What's with all these questions about what type of bear are you?"

Baby-bear is almost in tears as he pulls himself closer to his mother and whispers....








"Mama if I'm a polar bear, then why....












am I so****ing COLD???"



...maybe he is a teddy bear!!! tha'ts why he's cold...(joke) lol :nut:

OzPara
02-07-2012, 22:49
...maybe he is a teddy bear!!! tha'ts why he's cold...(joke) lol :nut:

I think he was just being unbearable! ;)

candy888
02-07-2012, 23:00
I think he was just being unbearable! ;)

...yeah,right! :11629:











-------------------
your smile can light up my world

TolkoRaz
02-07-2012, 23:25
OK, I am going to try and raise the 'bar'! ;)

A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons and says....

"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my
manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute".

"Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing
this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink".

The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers,
and placed his Credentials and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth. The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile really, really hard on the top of its head. The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.

The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again
and made another offer....

"I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."

A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly Spoke up..........

"I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle!" :D

SV1973a
02-07-2012, 23:46
A young catholic priest just finished his education and is send to some village in the country side, to help the local priest. Upon his arrival in the village he notices that the old priest is living a quiet and comfortable life. The old priest even has a house-maid that is considerably younger and that actually is quite good looking.
The young priest is reflecting on what celibacy for life would be like, and he decides to take his older colleague apart and ask if is not too difficult to live with a woman under one roof and never to give in to natures` call.
The old priest is shocked by this brutality and confirms that he keeps his vows.
Later that evening, the housemaid has prepared a very good meal and she put all the best silverwear on the table.
The next day at supper, she notices that one of the silver spoons is missing.
The next day again another silver spoon is missing, and she decides to inform the old priest.
The third day again a spoon is lost.
There is no evidence of course, but there is this strange coincidence that spoons started to disappear when the young priest came to live in the house.
The old priest decides to confront the young priest : `My son, ever since you came to live in our house, our silver spoons started to disappear. Now, I am not implying that you stole them, but I am also not implying that you did not. It is just a constation.`
To which the young priest replies : `But father, I am not implying that you sleep with your housemaid, but I am also not implying that you do not. The fact is, if you would sleep in your own bed, I think you would have found the spoons by now.`

SV1973a
03-07-2012, 06:33
An old man dies and goes to heaven. At the gate he meets Saint-Peter.
Saint-Peter : Name, please.
Old Man : I don`t remember, really...
SP : Well, I got to check my files to see whether I can let you in. I cannot let you in if I don`t know who you are.
OM : Sorry, I don`t remember...
Saint-Peter is feeling pitty for the old man and says.
SP : I`ll tell you what. Maybe you could tell me a little bit about your life, and then you may remember or maybe that way you give me some clues and we can figure it out.
OM : Fine to me.
And the old man starts telling about his life.
OM : I was a carpenter in a warm and sunny land. I have a son that did some great stuff. He is very famous you know. They wrote a book about him. Everybody knows him,...
Saint-Peter listens very attentively, and this is his train of thoughts : carpenter, warm and sunny land, famous son, book,...
The pieces all start falling together; this has got to be Jozef. Saint-Peter calls one of his angels.
SP : Quick, go get Jesus. Tell him his father is here.
A little later Jesus arrives at the gate.
Jesus : Father !!!
To which the old man replies : PINOCHIO !!!

candy888
03-07-2012, 07:57
An old man dies and goes to heaven. At the gate he meets Saint-Peter.
Saint-Peter : Name, please.
Old Man : I don`t remember, really...
SP : Well, I got to check my files to see whether I can let you in. I cannot let you in if I don`t know who you are.
OM : Sorry, I don`t remember...
Saint-Peter is feeling pitty for the old man and says.
SP : I`ll tell you what. Maybe you could tell me a little bit about your life, and then you may remember or maybe that way you give me some clues and we can figure it out.
OM : Fine to me.
And the old man starts telling about his life.
OM : I was a carpenter in a warm and sunny land. I have a son that did some great stuff. He is very famous you know. They wrote a book about him. Everybody knows him,...
Saint-Peter listens very attentively, and this is his train of thoughts : carpenter, warm and sunny land, famous son, book,...
The pieces all start falling together; this has got to be Jozef. Saint-Peter calls one of his angels.
SP : Quick, go get Jesus. Tell him his father is here.
A little later Jesus arrives at the gate.
Jesus : Father !!!
To which the old man replies : PINOCHIO !!!



...lol :clown:

Chriss Liew
03-07-2012, 18:02
I figured I should share this one as well. (true story).

One day while I was travelling in Beijing, China, I walked into the streets where dozens of local traders selling their knockoffs products that include Nike, Adidas, Puma, Gucci, Prada etc. Then, a bag that carries a very significant name to the people in financial institution should be proud of, caught my eye and I was literally rolled my eyes in to laughter and was like wtf :O

And so, I was curious and asked why do you have this brand of bag being sold here in this very market of yours. The trader said that one day he went sourcing for a well known brand to be counterfeited and he walked into a nice, posh building and saw hundreds professionals walking with this very same bag. Hence, he came out with this idea of making them in bulk just like Nike and Adidas...I can't stop laughing at that point =D, and so, I asked him what was the name of the office building....???

......he answered, "KPMG" !!!

P.S. I am known as a bad story teller =(

candy888
03-07-2012, 21:43
I figured I should share this one as well. (true story).

One day while I was travelling in Beijing, China, I walked into the streets where dozens of local traders selling their knockoffs products that include Nike, Adidas, Puma, Gucci, Prada etc. Then, a bag that carries a very significant name to the people in financial institution should be proud of, caught my eye and I was literally rolled my eyes in to laughter and was like wtf :O

And so, I was curious and asked why do you have this brand of bag being sold here in this very market of yours. The trader said that one day he went sourcing for a well known brand to be counterfeited and he walked into a nice, posh building and saw hundreds professionals walking with this very same bag. Hence, he came out with this idea of making them in bulk just like Nike and Adidas...I can't stop laughing at that point =D, and so, I asked him what was the name of the office building....???

......he answered, "KPMG" !!!



P.S. I am known as a bad story teller =(

...may i ask what is kpmg?
:12115: :applause:

SV1973a
03-07-2012, 22:12
A widow is mourning over the death of her husband John. She loved him dearly, and now that he is dead, she misses him dearly, and realises that there are so many things that she would have liked to tell him and to ask him.
She finds a newspaper announcement for a medium, and decides to give it a try.
She goes to the medium, to arrange for a session with her deceased husband.
The medium prepares the ouija board, and establishes contact with the spirit of John.

- John, my love, is that you ?
- Yes, my dear
- How are you ?
- Could not be better. I am enjoying myself.
- Are you happy there ?
- Yes, very.
- What is it like there ?
- It is beautiful. The sun is shining all of the time, there is plenty of green and colourful flowers. There are beautiful butterflies and pretty songbirds. The climate is pleasant.
- What do you do all day ?
I get up in the morning and have some breakfast. Then I go sit in the sun, and see if there are some nice girls I can have sex with. I rest a bit. Have some more sex with some other girls. Then it is time to have lunch. I go along minding my own business. Then if I get the chance, I have some more sex. This goes on all day, and I can have casual sex with all the girls I can get.

The widow is pretty upset about this, but after some time, she goes on :
- I am sorry I was a little bit upset. It is just that I did not expect that heaven would be like that...
- I am not in heaven.
- You`re not ???
- No, I am bunny in Australia !!!

TolkoRaz
03-07-2012, 22:16
...may i ask what is kpmg?
:12115: :applause:

http://www.kpmg.com/cn/en/whatwedo/industries/global-china/pages/default.aspx

candy888
03-07-2012, 22:41
- No, I am bunny in Australia !!![/QUOTE]

..lol.. :trampoline:

SV1973a
03-07-2012, 22:52
OK, another one with a bunny...

A big brown bear is trying to sh*t.
A cute white rabbit comes and sits next to the bear. The rabbit also starts to sh*t, and the little turds are coming out easily and quickly.
- Don`t you hate it, the bear says, when the sh*t sticks to your fur ?
- I don`t have that problem, the bunny says
- You don`t ? , asks the bear, and wipes his *ss with the bunny.

candy888
03-07-2012, 23:01
- You don`t ? , asks the bear, and wipes his *ss with the bunny.[/QUOTE]


...i don't like bugs bunny anymore..lol

:bedtime:

sashadidi
04-07-2012, 11:37
After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that
the Titanic's swimming pool was still full.

peppermintpaddy
04-07-2012, 12:43
After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that
the Titanic's swimming pool was still full.

Our first racist joke on the thread....stupid prick!

sashadidi
04-07-2012, 23:43
Our first racist joke on the thread....stupid prick!

Oh Dear sensititive PP it was told to me by a Galway man last night so he is a stupid prick as well being an Irishmen like yourself and telling the joke does that make all Irishman like you stupid pricks as well?you have no problem attacking other groups of people such as islamics so you must be a senstitive boy.
Are you going to add Mixed blood New Zealanders who tell Irish jokes to your danger groups as well?

peppermintpaddy
05-07-2012, 02:54
Oh Dear sensititive PP it was told to me by a Galway man last night so he is a stupid prick as well being an Irishmen like yourself and telling the joke does that make all Irishman like you stupid pricks as well?you have no problem attacking other groups of people such as islamics so you must be a senstitive boy.
Are you going to add Mixed blood New Zealanders who tell Irish jokes to your danger groups as well?

I'm not sensitive at all,so some thick sheep shagging Galway man told you a Paddy joke and you thought it good enough to repeat on this forum.
How very convenient.Mixed blood Newzealander -mixed with what -a sheep?
Talking of sheep,why can't Kiwis count sheep to get to sleep?
Coz when they get to five,thry've got to stop to have a wank.

Chriss Liew
05-07-2012, 05:10
...may i ask what is kpmg?
:12115: :applause:

It's Klynveld Peat Marwick Goerdeler : the names of Big 4 accountancy firms before they continued together as KPMG in 1987.

The other three are Ernst And Young (EY), Deloitte and PriceWaterhouse Coopers (PWC)

candy888
05-07-2012, 08:03
here's another one...

woman: doctor,help me. i was home naked, i sat on my mobile, and it went inside me, and it was on vibration.

doctor: dont worry, i can remove it in 1 minute.

woman: oh, don't remove it.just change battery for me. and if u can call me every 5 mins, i would appreciate it.


:devilish: :Loco:

MikeyP
05-07-2012, 15:25
Two sheep in a field.


One says "Baaaaa"









The other responds "You bastard, I was going to say that!"

candy888
06-07-2012, 19:04
Q: why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?

A: if u add 4 and 4, u get 8!


:groan: