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View Full Version : DJB v Hal - Handbags at Dawn



Lled
30-06-2005, 10:11
DJB, your weapon of choice, as always: the delightful pink taffetta, evening bag with faux-silver looped handle and a fighting handicap of -2

Lled
30-06-2005, 10:12
Hal, your bag, the success story from last week's spat with Braders outside a cheap pub in downtown Moscow: the blue Denim Avenger with hand-worked leather features and a fight handicap of +1

Go boys.

sfjohns67
30-06-2005, 10:26
Now Lled, you fashion victim fag, you know darn well that shade of pink will never go with DJB's pasty complexion, and Hal...well let's just say our chubbier friends should stick with vertical stripes, no?

Lled
30-06-2005, 10:30
Now Lled, you fashion victim fag, you know darn well that shade of pink will never go with DJB's pasty complexion, and Hal...well let's just say our chubbier friends should stick with vertical stripes, no?

Pink taffetta is the new black you Queen of Sartorial Eau de Fromage.

Vertical stripes for Hal? Yes if the blouse is a little lightweight chiffon brown and turquoise number, but not on a denim handbag.

sfjohns67
30-06-2005, 10:39
Perhaps you're right, but one mustn't forget that nagging little shoe problem. Turquoise pumps? I don't think so!

Lled
30-06-2005, 10:47
Oh gosh yes, the turquoise pumps. I do so hope neither of them wears the magenta pantyhose either. What a fiasco.

Pussy(Cat)
30-06-2005, 10:50
I do so hope neither of them wears the magenta pantyhose either
I'd recommend lacy suspender belts and stockings - pink for DJB and blue for Hal...

sfjohns67
30-06-2005, 10:54
Hal's upper thighs look simply horrid in stockings...like a sausage having a bad hair day. Major league fashion faux pas!

Lled
30-06-2005, 10:56
Hal's upper thighs look simply horrid in stockings...like a sausage having a bad hair day. Major league fashion faux pas!

Please tell me you haven't seen Hal's upper thighs.

Pussy(cat) can I see yours?

TinyToes
30-06-2005, 11:01
Hal's upper thighs look simply horrid in stockings...like a sausage having a bad hair day. Major league fashion faux pas!
Ok then, maybe the knee-high socks? or, better knee-high latex high-hills...
yes, baby, come on...

Pussy(Cat)
30-06-2005, 11:06
Pussy(cat) can I see yours?
you don't want to see them...

Lled
30-06-2005, 12:50
If Sfjohns can stomach Hal's upper thighs then I am sure I can cope with yours. Whassa matter? Cellulite and run out of wax?

CatGirl
30-06-2005, 12:55
LLed, funny as usial!

Lled
30-06-2005, 12:58
LLed, funny as usial!

And you just know how hard I try.

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 13:52
At dawn? At f**king dawn? Are you mad man? I am either out enjoying myself in some artificial state of euphoria or asleep at that time!

However I accept my weapon gladly, lovely little number and quite the thing among the bright young things this season in Lower Dartford.

I have chosen to stuff my handbag full of scathing comments, misunderstandings, bruised egos, poorly presented arguments, childish finger pointing and my favourite weapon - sulking. With these at my disposal I have every chance of making myself look like a big spoilt kid with celebrity delusions.

Lled
30-06-2005, 13:56
At dawn? At f**king dawn? Are you mad man? I am either out enjoying myself in some artificial state of euphoria or asleep at that time!

However I accept my weapon gladly, lovely little number and quite the thing among the bright young things this season in Lower Dartford.

I have chosen to stuff my handbag full of scathing comments, misunderstandings, bruised egos, poorly presented arguments, childish finger pointing and my favourite weapon - sulking. With these at my disposal I have every chance of making myself look like a big spoilt kid with celebrity delusions.

Bloody brilliant. With your pink taffetta wristbag chocabloc full of sulky mood swings and drama queen tantrums I am sure Hal will have a hard time knocking your mascara out of line. He will certainly have to come up with a little more than the usual googled comebacks and regurgitated ancient wisdom with a wry twist!

Hal? Hal?

CatGirl
30-06-2005, 14:06
DJB wins.

Pussy(Cat)
30-06-2005, 14:17
If Sfjohns can stomach Hal's upper thighs then I am sure I can cope with yours. Whassa matter? Cellulite and run out of wax?
I'm just wooried about you, dear Lled. Just to rephrase the quote from the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:
...With a bit of luck his life was
ruined -- forever thinking that
just behind some narrow door there are
girls with such incredible upper thighs...

jchidg1
30-06-2005, 14:24
Flabby upper thighs - like two elastic bands round a soggy croissant. On the grounds that he is a man not afriad to sulk, my money is on DJ....Hal - an ectoplasmic fart maybe?

CaveMan
30-06-2005, 14:25
I'm just wooried about you, dear Lled. Just to rephrase the quote from the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:
...With a bit of luck his life was
ruined -- forever thinking that
just behind some narrow door there are
girls with such incredible upper thighs...

Actually that was a good movie to watch when you are you-know-what !!! :bong:

aysihsK
30-06-2005, 14:25
I'm just wooried about you, dear Lled. Just to rephrase the quote from the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:
...With a bit of luck his life was
ruined -- forever thinking that
just behind some narrow door there are
girls with such incredible upper thighs...

Pussy ;) you should be Pussy(Piglet) not the cat! :p

Lled
30-06-2005, 14:28
Am I the only one gonna side with Hal for the next 5 minutes?

I mean have you ever seen DJB trying to dodge something coming out of his kitchen? It's not like that stuff could come at you any slower....

Pussy(Cat)
30-06-2005, 14:30
Pussy ;) you should be Pussy(Piglet) not the cat! :p
if upper thighs are somehow connected with piglets in your mind - that shows YOUR problem, not mine, dear.

Lled
30-06-2005, 14:30
Mods ! Incoming !

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 14:31
Kitchen? We have a kitchen?

Lled
30-06-2005, 14:32
Kitchen? We have a kitchen?

Oh God, don't tell me if I go through those doors I'll come out in Cloud Cuckoo Culinary Catastrophe Land

Pussy(Cat)
30-06-2005, 14:33
Mods ! Incoming !
Oh, yes, waiting with anticipation...

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 14:34
I could get all upset and take that personally but I am a bigger man than that, much bigger.

No, behind those doors are one drunk waitress, a Manager suffering from PMS, a cleaner who was once a KGB seductress and a shrine to Samsung, or the 'Ping Zone' as we like to call the microwave wall, next to the frozen meals freezer.

Lled
30-06-2005, 14:35
Waitress? You have a waitress?

CaveMan
30-06-2005, 14:37
I could get all upset and take that personally but I am a bigger man than that, much bigger.

No, behind those doors are one drunk waitress, a Manager suffering from PMS, a cleaner who was once a KGB seductress and a shrine to Samsung, or the 'Ping Zone' as we like to call the microwave wall, next to the frozen meals freezer.

And the 2nd hand Filet Mignon's ???

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 14:37
Waitress? You have a waitress?

Occaisonally, sometimes I have one of the cleaners.

TinyToes
30-06-2005, 14:39
Occaisonally, sometimes I have one of the cleaners.
and how is she?

CatGirl
30-06-2005, 14:40
Tt, Lol

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 14:41
and how is she?

Exhausted but happy.

TinyToes
30-06-2005, 14:43
Exhausted but happy.
so THAT's why she always looks exhausted...!
and you told us: too low salary, kids, problems...

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 14:44
I lied. I do that.

Lled
30-06-2005, 14:48
I lied. I do that.

Is THAT why she's not giving me even a brief look?? Fine mate you are.

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 14:51
No that's not why. It's simply that she is overawed by your tremendous sense of style, your charisma and heady sexuality combined with your charm and intellect, either that or she don't fancy you mate cos you're a loser. One of those statements is a lie the other is the truth, whichever you feel happier with tha's the one you gotta live with.

Lled
30-06-2005, 14:52
I'll live with the loser theory as it'll cost less in alimony payments.

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 14:55
But will anyone ever believe it?

Regarding duelling sartorial elegance I forgot to mention that I am wearing leg warmers and have quiffed my hair up in the New Romantic style. I am ready for hand to handbag combat.

CaveMan
30-06-2005, 15:06
But will anyone ever believe it?

Regarding duelling sartorial elegance I forgot to mention that I am wearing leg warmers and have quiffed my hair up in the New Romantic style. I am ready for hand to handbag combat.

Picture proof is required !!

Alex
30-06-2005, 16:05
so i dont see Hal tacking up the chalange... maybe he didnt like the color?

Halyavshik
30-06-2005, 16:15
so i dont see Hal tacking up the chalange... maybe he didnt like the color?

Sorry. I've just been trying to find a few bricks to go in it.

CatGirl
30-06-2005, 16:18
Hal, do you REALLY agree to take part in "this"?

TinyToes
30-06-2005, 16:19
Sorry. I've just been trying to find a few bricks to go in it.
Oh, Hal, here you are! we were all anticipating...

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 16:21
Hal, do you REALLY agree to take part in "this"?

Do you REALLY think this is real?


Hal, the object of my venom was clearly misdirected, I mean good grief...

Halyavshik
30-06-2005, 16:24
Hal, do you REALLY agree to take part in "this"?

Girlfriend, it's DENIM. A fashion staple. I couldn't really have said no, now, could I ? And besides, I never miss a chance to see a good cat-fight, much less participate in one.

Halyavshik
30-06-2005, 16:26
Hal, the object of my venom was clearly misdirected

I must admit I DO like that pink color of yours.

Lled
30-06-2005, 16:28
Listen you two queens, I want a good clean fight. No false fingernail gouging and definitely no pantyhose wedgies.

Four rounds of sulky banter please followed by pseudo-intellectual insults and I'll decide the winner.

Whatever the outcome, you both owe me a few beers.

Nongs.

Alex
30-06-2005, 16:28
Sorry. I've just been trying to find a few bricks to go in it.
i'm glad that at least one of u decided to take a more practical approach for this fight! :hooray:
(no disrespect DJB)

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 16:28
It's just soooo me isn't it? Loud, brash, tasteless and yet strangely alluring.

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 16:29
i'm glad that at least one of u decided to take a more practical approach for this fight! :hooray:
(no disrespect DJB)

You are right of course, one needs to be so practical in the virtual cyberspace world of internet forums. Doh!

Lled
30-06-2005, 16:29
It's just soooo me isn't it? Loud, brash, tasteless and yet strangely alluring.

Phew, for a second there I thought you were talking about having Faritova take your place. I saw Hal's intestines all up the wall.

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 16:31
Now you see this is just the sort of uncalled for rudeness that Hal is talking about.


Keep up the good work

Lled
30-06-2005, 16:32
Now you see this is just the sort of uncalled for rudeness that Hal is talking about.


Keep up the good work

With me around you get "rude, obnoxious and facetious" whether you call for it or not.

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 16:34
You're an all rounder and a real trouper you are.

I would add condescending and patronising, I love doing those, here of course it's a little too easy.

Alex
30-06-2005, 16:35
You are right of course, one needs to be so practical in the virtual cyberspace world of internet forums. Doh!

well if not there then where? in real life?? Nah...

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 16:37
Well seeing as bricks and practicality hold no stock in virtual life and real life is dull if one is practical I would have to say - no where, that's where.

Lled
30-06-2005, 16:48
You're an all rounder and a real trouper you are.

I would add condescending and patronising, I love doing those, here of course it's a little too easy.

Yes, two more services I offer to my friends free of charge.

Did I mention arrogance and overpoweringly smug? I do that too.

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 16:51
Good man, qualities I admire. Modesty is so dull and so last Tuesday.

Lled
30-06-2005, 16:53
Tell you what, let's go out and the roam the streets in a Hunter S. Thompson sort of way hurling random abuse at bums and cops until someone kicks our heads in?

I feel a little bored and I have nowhere to go tonight.

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 16:54
And this all differs from a normal evening how?

Lled
30-06-2005, 16:55
And this all differs from a normal evening how?

The sentences are better punctuated.

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 16:56
i c wot u mean m8

CatGirl
30-06-2005, 17:10
Do you REALLY think this is real?

According to my great ;) brain's potential :ehh: I SURELY DO!! :D :rolleyes:


Girlfriend, it's DENIM. A fashion staple. I couldn't really have said no, now, could I ? And besides, I never miss a chance to see a good cat-fight, much less participate in one.


Oh, yeah! scratch for you then! :rolleyes: Meuw!!!!

Aleydis
30-06-2005, 17:11
i c wot u mean m8

LOL :D

Lled
30-06-2005, 17:13
I see Aleydis just picked herself up off the floor after an afternoon brim full of cheap tequilla and white chocolate chip cookies.

Halyavshik
30-06-2005, 17:14
Someone give Lled a purse and we three ladies can have a night on the town.

TinyToes
30-06-2005, 17:15
Someone give Lled a purse and we three ladies can have a night on the town.
Lled take mine and let me watch it...

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 17:16
Don't you be going calling me no lady. I'm a woman, W - O - M - A - N, lets say it again...

Lled
30-06-2005, 17:18
Well, I is a laydee no ma'er wotchoo say.

Lled
30-06-2005, 17:18
Lled take mine and let me watch it...

Yours is too heavy, or did you mean the little black number with the sequins and just enough space for 2 cigarettes?

Aleydis
30-06-2005, 17:19
I see Aleydis just picked herself up off the floor after an afternoon brim full of cheap tequilla and white chocolate chip cookies.

The answer's still no. :p And it was Havana Club 7 on the rocks. :D

Halyavshik
30-06-2005, 17:19
I'm actually kind of a tease.

CatGirl
30-06-2005, 17:22
Someone give Lled a purse and we three ladies can have a night on the town.

What could be better than SHOPPING?? LOL

Lled
30-06-2005, 17:23
I know, you keep playing all fey and stuff and I'll soon be losing interest, seeking out pastures new if you know what I mean.

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 17:23
Can we all join hands and shout ''WOOSH, F*CKING WOOSH!''

Lled
30-06-2005, 17:27
Hang on, I'll go find a suitable WHOOSH photo to download quickly to add some humour.

Back in a mo'.

Lled
30-06-2005, 17:28
Whoooooooooosh

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 17:33
Nice. That's about the height of it.

Now, how long before one of our esteemed collection of wit practitioners posts a thread like ''ooh look it's raining''?

TinyToes
30-06-2005, 17:37
Yours is too heavy, or did you mean the little black number with the sequins and just enough space for 2 cigarettes?
yep, the little black one - you don't need much space for your wit, do you?

TinyToes
30-06-2005, 18:06
and total:

1) Delightful pink evening handbag handmade by the vietnamese teenage girls - 3 USD
2) Blue denim handbag with hand-worked leather features - Chinese Market in moscow - 2 USD
3) Turquoise pumps - rented at the dump - 0,50 cents/ pair
4) Lacy Stockings with suspender belt - bought buy chance from the Babushka in the Moscow Metro - 3,5 USD / pair (expensive, eh?)

The pleasure of seeing DJB and Hal being pulled by a couple of young drunk russian cops - PRICELESS.

Lled
30-06-2005, 18:22
and total:

1) Delightful pink evening handbag handmade by the vietnamese teenage girls - 3 USD
2) Blue denim handbag with hand-worked leather features - Chinese Market in moscow - 2 USD
3) Turquoise pumps - rented at the dump - 0,50 cents/ pair
4) Lacy Stockings with suspender belt - bought buy chance from the Babushka in the Moscow Metro - 3,5 USD / pair (expensive, eh?)

The pleasure of seeing DJB and Hal being pulled by a couple of young drunk russian cops - PRICELESS.

For everything else there's "Mastertw*t"

TinyToes
30-06-2005, 18:33
For everything else there's "Mastertw*t"
or "Masterc*nt"?

Halyavshik
30-06-2005, 19:01
3) Turquoise pumps - rented at the dump - 0,50 cents

You can rent shoes at the dump ?

Lled
30-06-2005, 19:02
It's 30 cents cheaper than the babushka you rent your second hand asian construction worker flipflops off of pal so don't knock it at the dump.

Braders
30-06-2005, 19:27
DJB and Hal, a poker night is needed soon, a few 'flush's' and 'full houses' later we'll all be muckers again! :rolleyes: :D

Lled, trust a tart like you to come up with the handbag's idea. ;)

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 19:30
Oh yeah poker is really gonna bond us!

He may be a tart but he's got class.

Lovely demo in Stretford last night! That yank doesn't know what's hit him!

Braders
30-06-2005, 19:33
Oh yeah poker is really gonna bond us!

Lovely demo in Stretford last night! That yank doesn't know what's hit him!

Well it will be entertaining for everyone else present!

Wish i had caught the footage on SKY news, alas i was out drinking too much again! That American does concern me, now that i've read more about it.

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 19:36
They were running the footage all morning. Police escort out of the area for that weirdo.

Very dodgy but what will Man Utd. fans do if you win a couple of cups next season, will he become the new Abramovitch? And what chance is there if getting him out?

He said to the sports minister that he thought the Premier League was the best run league in the world, such a relief to have his approval.

Braders
30-06-2005, 19:42
Very dodgy but what will Man Utd. fans do if you win a couple of cups next season, will he become the new Abramovitch? And what chance is there if getting him out?.

Something tells me these hardline supporters wont give a toss if we win a few cups next season, he's bought a club that he couldn't afford and he has no passion for the game, for him, it's business, at least Abramovitch appears interested in football.

DJ Biscuit
30-06-2005, 19:45
Yes, apparantely from a source I know close to Abramovitch he is fanatically in love with football while yer man Glazer is looking for something to off set debts with. Not only that he looks like a simpleton.

Lled
01-07-2005, 08:40
A bit of a slaphead too.