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View Full Version : Security and fear. Whats your experience?



Unreal
02-09-2010, 21:36
Sometimes we have to make decisions which are uneasy for us. Sometimes we have to choose one thing and drop another. Many people here have chosen to leave their own country, almost all apparently have changed their jobs, many have dropped the hopeless relationships..

I wonder how did you distinguished between the redundant feeling of fear and the life-saving emotion of security? Where is the border between these two emotions, does it really exists?

When I was younger I invented a criteria for such a situations. I made myself drunk and in that 'switched' state I saw the different world without fears and worries, filled with possibilities and straight roads... It was funny, I acted sober-minded while having alcohol inspired dreams in my head :)

Was it easy for you to make a Decision? How did you managed to upturn your life or it went smooth for you?

:10518:

Gypsy
02-09-2010, 21:42
Sometimes we have to make decisions which are uneasy for us. Sometimes we have to choose one thing and drop another. Many people here have chosen to leave their own country, almost all apparently have changed their jobs, many have dropped the hopeless relationships..

I wonder how did you distinguished between the redundant feeling of fear and the life-saving emotion of security? Where is the border between these two emotions, does it really exists?

When I was younger I invented a criteria for such a situations. I made myself drunk and in that 'switched' state I saw the different world without fears and worries, filled with possibilities and straight roads... It was funny, I acted sober-minded while having alcohol inspired dreams in my head :)

Was it easy for you to make a Decision? How did you managed to upturn your life or it went smooth for you?

:10518:

All the things you describe as negatives above I view - and have always viewed - as positives.

TolkoRaz
02-09-2010, 21:49
By overcoming fears, anxieties and tragedies makes one a stronger individual and better equipped to genuinely succeed in life :10310:

TolkoRaz
02-09-2010, 21:57
It also puts the meaning of 'life' into perspective! :bookworm:

tvadim133
02-09-2010, 22:04
A lot depends upon the concrete problem, you make solve and make a decision.

To make a serious decision is to make the Act.

In Russian поступок (поcтупиться чем-то) means "to be ready to lose", "to risk" and sure, it is not so simple.

But I fully agree that to be positive (not light minded, but positive and confident) is the main thing, to make yourself feel.

Or you will always be sorry for the things you have done.

When I write "You", I mean "me", "I think people should", "let's keep it in mind".

Swordfish90293
03-09-2010, 00:10
To make a serious decision is to make the Act.
In Russian поступок (поcтупиться чем-то) means "to be ready to lose", "to risk" and sure, it is not so simple...But I fully agree that to be positive (not light minded, but positive and confident) is the main thing, to make yourself feel...Or you will always be sorry for the things you have done.

What you're saying, T, is the difference between playing to win, and playing to keep from losing...

MickeyTong
03-09-2010, 00:21
What you're saying, T, is the difference between playing to win, and playing to keep from losing...

Sometimes, just staying in the game is winning.

tvadim133
03-09-2010, 00:35
Sometimes, just staying in the game is winning.

Exactly! Life is a big game, actually!

MickeyTong
03-09-2010, 00:37
You don't have to pass on your first attempt. And the pass mark is not 100%.

Swordfish90293
06-09-2010, 15:44
Sometimes, just staying in the game is winning.

“The spirit, the will to win and the will to excel – these are the things that endure and these are the qualities that are so much more important than any of the events that occasion them.There’s only one way to succeed in anything, and that is to give it everything. The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will. If you’ll not settle for anything less than your best, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish in your lives.”

Joe Kilroy
06-09-2010, 16:33
"And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. "

Kahlil Gibran


Keep it simple. Stay true to your nature. Bend your nature to other's will and you will end up stooped and crooked. Find the ecstacy in sacrifice. Don't love the peacock, love the pigeon who comes to your window and sits patiently waiting for crumbs. Don't forget your roots. Don't be smug and think that giving 10 roubles of your salary to an old babushka is charity. If it is your last ten roubles, it will be. And if you don't realise that what she gave you by needing your charity is worth 100 times what you gave her, then you learnt nothing.

Briolette.
06-09-2010, 19:31
There is one simple rule which, as banal as it is, usually serves the purpose for me and that is 'if you don't know what to do, do nothing'. If I want to go in two or more directions equally much and can't decide which one I prefer, then I remain where I am until something happens, in me or in my environment, that shows me the way.

As for distinguishing between the desire to give up on something which originated in fear and the one that is based on the intuition of something not being the right thing for me, I ask myself whether remaining in a given situation will improve me (my personality, my knowledge) or degrade me, in my own eyes of course. I try to compare the person I need to become in order to fit in the situation, and which I most likely will become if I remain in it, with the person I want to be or I would like to be. If my discomfort comes from the fact that I am (yet) 'not good enough' to be accepted or to fit in, I stay. If my discomfort comes from the fact that I don't want to adopt to the given situation, because I think I will lose some qualities that are important to me and acquire some features I don't want to have, I leave.

Once the decision to leave is made, I try to do it as soon as possible. Holding on to something that has already been proclaimed lost is nothing but a waste of time.

Mirka
06-09-2010, 20:04
There is one simple rule which, as banal as it is, usually serves the purpose for me and that is 'if you don't know what to do, do nothing'. If I want to go in two or more directions equally much and can't decide which one I prefer, then I remain where I am until something happens, in me or in my environment, that shows me the way.

As for distinguishing between the desire to give up on something which originated in fear and the one that is based on the intuition of something not being the right thing for me, I ask myself whether remaining in a given situation will improve me (my personality, my knowledge) or degrade me, in my own eyes of course. I try to compare the person I need to become in order to fit in the situation, and which I most likely will become if I remain in it, with the person I want to be or I would like to be. If my discomfort comes from the fact that I am (yet) 'not good enough' to be accepted or to fit in, I stay. If my discomfort comes from the fact that I don't want to adopt to the given situation, because I think I will lose some qualities that are important to me and acquire some features I don't want to have, I leave.

Once the decision to leave is made, I try to do it as soon as possible. Holding on to something that has already been proclaimed lost is nothing but a waste of time.

WOW!

MissAnnElk
06-09-2010, 23:08
I usually ask myself if I will have any regrets at 80 . . . and then act accordingly. I think we are most likely to regret the things we did NOT do.

Gypsy
07-09-2010, 03:49
I usually ask myself if I will have any regrets at 80 . . . and then act accordingly. I think we are most likely to regret the things we did NOT do.

You have to look at yourself in the mirror every morning. Are you going to like what you see?

Matt24
07-09-2010, 09:14
"And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. "

Kahlil Gibran


Keep it simple. Stay true to your nature. Bend your nature to other's will and you will end up stooped and crooked. Find the ecstacy in sacrifice. Don't love the peacock, love the pigeon who comes to your window and sits patiently waiting for crumbs. Don't forget your roots. Don't be smug and think that giving 10 roubles of your salary to an old babushka is charity. If it is your last ten roubles, it will be. And if you don't realise that what she gave you by needing your charity is worth 100 times what you gave her, then you learnt nothing.

So cool

Matt24
07-09-2010, 14:51
There is one simple rule which, as banal as it is, usually serves the purpose for me and that is 'if you don't know what to do, do nothing'. If I want to go in two or more directions equally much and can't decide which one I prefer, then I remain where I am until something happens, in me or in my environment, that shows me the way.

I wish I had the strength of character to be able to do nothing and wait for inspiration - what you describe as a simple rule, is to me verging on the impossible, for me it's so much easier to splash around, convincing myself that I'm trying my best, it's like massive conceit and egocentricity to believe that in any and every situation and environment I'm able to influence my outcome, I am enlightened by your posting, but no nearer having your enviable self control.


Matt