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Random
19-05-2005, 10:45
There I was, a-digging this hole
A hole in the ground, so big and sort of round it was
There was I, digging it deep
It was flat at at the bottom and the sides were steep
When along, comes this bloke in a bowler which he lifted and scratched his head
Well we looked down the hole, poor demented soul and he said

Do you mind if I make a suggestion?

Don't dig there, dig it elsewhere
Your digging it round and it ought to be square
The shape of it's wrong, it's much much too long
And you can't put hole wher a hole don't belong

I ask, what a liberty eh
Nearly bashed him right in the bowler

Well there was I, stood in me hole
Shovelling earth for all I was worth
There was him, standing up there
So grand and official with his nose in the air
So I gave him a look sort of sideways and I leaned on my shovel and sighed

Well I lit me a fag and having took a drag I replied

I just couldnít bear, to dig it elsewhere
I'm digging it round co's I donít want it square
And if you disagree it don't bother me
Thatís the place where the holes gonna be

Well there we were, disscussing this hole
A hole in the groud so big and sort of round
Well it's not there now, the groundrs all flat
And beneath it is the bloke in the bowler hat

And that's that

joners66
19-05-2005, 10:49
BERNARD CRIBBENS
Used to love him the the old ealing studio comedies..............

sparky
19-05-2005, 10:50
"Right," said Fred, "Both of us together
One on each end and steady as we go."
Tried to shift it, couldn't even lift it
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea and

"Right," said Fred, "Give a shout for Charlie."
Up comes Charlie from the floor below.
After strainin', heavin' and complainin'
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea.

And Charlie had a think, and he thought we ought to take off all the handles
And the things wot held the candles.
But it did no good, well I never thought it would
"All right," said Fred, "Have to take the feet off
To get them feet off wouldn't take a mo."

Took its feet off, even took the seat off
Should have got us somewhere but no!
So Fred said, "Let's have a cuppa tea."
And we said, "right-o."

"Right," said Fred, "Have to take the door off
Need more space to shift the so-and-so."
Had bad twinges taking off the hinges
And it got us nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea and

"Right," said Fred, " Have to take the wall down,
That there wall is gonna have to go."
Took the wall down, even with it all down
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea.

And Charlie had a think, and he said, "Look, Fred,
I get a sort of feelin'
If we remove the ceilin'
With a rope or two we could drop the blighter through."

"All right," said Fred, climbing up a ladder
With his crowbar gave a mighty blow.
Was he in trouble, half a ton of rubble landed on the top of his dome.
So Charlie and me had another cuppa tea
And then we went home.

(I said to Charlie, "We'll just have to leave it
Standing on the landing, that's all
Trouble with Fred is, he's too hasty
Never get nowhere if you're too hasty.")


Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be

Random
19-05-2005, 10:59
Boscoe posted in one of the computer threads that there was a hole in the program to do with the new posts function and that he was looking into it ..made me chuckle and then think of BC digging 'is 'ole .....

Him and Terry Scott - hand me that Curly Whurly !!

:)

sparky
19-05-2005, 11:01
Him and Terry Scott - hand me that Curly Whurly !!

:)

Classic :thumbsup: