PDA

View Full Version : Uh-oh - This can't be good



koba65
27-04-2005, 20:46
ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA, SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST-AS-EVIL

Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat-Evil; Other Nations Start Own Clubs

Dateline Beijing.

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils...best at being evil... we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."

THE AXIS PANDEMIC

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs.

Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick. "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Ghost
28-04-2005, 09:33
Lol!

Shatneresque
28-04-2005, 09:55
From The Onion---right? :p

peyote
28-04-2005, 11:48
LOL!

so? the onion?

Shatneresque
28-04-2005, 12:05
LOL!

so? the onion?
Check it out on the 'Net, dude---"The Onion: America's Finest News Source"! :p

peyote
28-04-2005, 12:31
yeah, i got the onion in my bookmarks, buddy ;) just wanted to know if it was taken from there...

Shatneresque
28-04-2005, 12:37
yeah, i got the onion in my bookmarks, buddy ;) just wanted to know if it was taken from there...
Has to be---it's in their own inimitable style! :thumbsup:

koba65
28-04-2005, 19:12
It might have been from the "Onion", but I found it on an Aussie website. The Onion is great - especially when "legitimate" news sources pick up one of their stories as real!

Halyavshik
28-04-2005, 19:27
It might have been from the "Onion", but I found it on an Aussie website. The Onion is great - especially when "legitimate" news sources pick up one of their stories as real!

Yes. I remember when they had Christian evangelical fundamentalists up in arms. Seems someone took a quote from an Onion article where they had a little girl quoted as saying, " Jesus never taught us how to do the Cruciatus curse." Or something close to that.

Hilarious. Onion rocks.