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TinyToes
22-04-2005, 12:16
Everybody,

I'm writing a letter to pope.
Will publish it here if I get an answer.
Can Anybody advise on how do you call him in a letter?

Mr Pope
or what?

Grateful,
TT

Lled
22-04-2005, 12:19
Dear Prat (sorry),

Halyavshik
22-04-2005, 12:25
Uvazhaemiy Pope Popeovich

Lled
22-04-2005, 12:28
Everybody,

Mr Pope
or what?


I think you should start:

"Or What"

It's more formal

Regards from Mr Language Person

sparky
22-04-2005, 12:31
Keep it informal, Dear Joe

TinyToes
22-04-2005, 12:32
I think you should start:

"Or What"

It's more formal

Regards from Mr Language Person


Thanks, That's what I'm gonna do.
By the way, Pope speaks 10 languages, did you know?

Random
22-04-2005, 12:33
Mein Fuhrer !

sparky
22-04-2005, 12:34
Pope speaks 10 languages, did you know?


Did you know a babble fish speaks all intergalactic languages, so wins on points?

Random
22-04-2005, 12:39
I always thought that the bablefish was proof that god didn't exist !!

Lled
22-04-2005, 12:42
Thanks, That's what I'm gonna do.
By the way, Pope speaks 10 languages, did you know?

I still want to know what the silly old bugger earns. Do you think he's on an expat deal? I suppose accomodation is free but does he have to pay for his own beer for example?

Halyavshik
22-04-2005, 12:48
does he have to pay for his own beer for example?

Yes, but he gets all the wine he wants.

Lled
22-04-2005, 12:55
Another thing. In the Standard Papal Contract, what is listed under Instant Dismissal Offences?

I can feel a list coming on....

sparky
22-04-2005, 13:04
I always thought that the bablefish was proof that god didn't exist !!

Exactly, which is why it is so apt for this thread.

Random
22-04-2005, 13:13
IDO's - Top 10

1) No flashing at Nun's
2) No weeing off the balcony at the crowd
3) No asking the Swiss Army Guard do they have a penknife ? It was funny when Pope 1 - asked now it isn't
4) No sneaking swearing in the address to the crowd in Latin - just because it's a dead language doesn't mean that someone doesn't understand it !
5) No more Jimi Hendrix impressions
6) No more dressing up as the Beelzebub at the Christmas Party
7) No more touring with out recording an album
8) No more Domino's Pizza deliveries after 11pm - even if you do have the munchies
9) Next time call yourself Pope Pepsi - get more sponsorship
10) Don't mention the war

Random
22-04-2005, 13:17
Exactly, which is why it is so apt for this thread.


"And the argument goes something like this. God says 'I refuse to prove my existence, for proof denies faith and without faith I am nothing.' But said man, 'The bablefish is a dead give away isn't it? It proves you exist and, so, therefore you don't, QED'. 'Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that.' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. 'Oh that was easy,' says man, and for an encore proves that black is white and get's killed at the next zebra crossing." - Sir Douglas Adams, Hitchikers Guide.

CatGirl
22-04-2005, 13:21
Thanks, That's what I'm gonna do.
By the way, Pope speaks 10 languages, did you know?
I didn't know the exact numder of the languages he speaks. Thanks for the pointing on it, TT. Do yuo really write the letter? For what? :)

Cherry
22-04-2005, 13:24
Prods! :p

sparky
22-04-2005, 13:25
IDO's - Top 10

1) No flashing at Nun's
2) No weeing off the balcony at the crowd
3) No asking the Swiss Army Guard do they have a penknife ? It was funny when Pope 1 - asked now it isn't
4) No sneaking swearing in the address to the crowd in Latin - just because it's a dead language doesn't mean that someone doesn't understand it !
5) No more Jimi Hendrix impressions
6) No more dressing up as the Beelzebub at the Christmas Party
7) No more touring with out recording an album
8) No more Domino's Pizza deliveries after 11pm - even if you do have the munchies
9) Next time call yourself Pope Pepsi - get more sponsership
10) Don't mention the war

Gees, I am glad I didn't apply for the job. What has he got left to do to fill the day??

Shatneresque
22-04-2005, 13:27
"Your Holiness"

Halyavshik
22-04-2005, 13:34
IDO's - Top 10

1) No flashing at Nun's
2) No weeing off the balcony at the crowd
3) No asking the Swiss Army Guard do they have a penknife ? It was funny when Pope 1 - asked now it isn't
4) No sneaking swearing in the address to the crowd in Latin - just because it's a dead language doesn't mean that someone doesn't understand it !
5) No more Jimi Hendrix impressions
6) No more dressing up as the Beelzebub at the Christmas Party
7) No more touring with out recording an album
8) No more Domino's Pizza deliveries after 11pm - even if you do have the munchies
9) Next time call yourself Pope Pepsi - get more sponsorship
10) Don't mention the war

11. No more 'Pull my Finger" jokes with the Cardinals

Lled
22-04-2005, 13:49
Gees, I am glad I didn't apply for the job. What has he got left to do to fill the day??

Well clearly you haven't been paying attention because Random rightly omits from his list of IDO's a whole plethora (Latin word "pleth" = bunch of..., "ora" = fun stuff) of things such as, well, he can still collect money from his subjects to put to good use like feeding the poor, no! ha ha! just kidding! It's for putting more gold inside cathedrals, God likes gold. Then there's the old stalwart which is coaxing the choirboys through adolescence into manhood.

sparky
22-04-2005, 13:53
Well clearly you haven't been paying attention because Random rightly omits from his list of IDO's a whole plethora (Latin word "pleth" = bunch of..., "ora" = fun stuff) of things such as, well, he can still collect money from his subjects to put to good use like feeding the poor, no! ha ha! just kidding! It's for putting more gold inside cathedrals, God likes gold. Then there's the old stalwart which is coaxing the choirboys through adolescence into manhood.


Your right, I have a very low attention…look a dog outside the window

Lled
22-04-2005, 13:57
You know guys, I think Cosmo just took away some of my rep points.... I didn't actually have any but nevertheless...

:cussing:

klasno
22-04-2005, 14:09
12. Don't brag about how many allied planes you gunned down for the Reich.

I like the pope for saying that the papacy shouldn't get involved with politics. I'd hate to see him instigate a worldwide ban on condoms, for example - he should just stick to telling them not to have sex at all so that they can ignore him once they get out of eyesight of the Pope-mobile.

Halyavshik
22-04-2005, 14:13
13. No racing stripes on the Pope-mobile

sfjohns67
22-04-2005, 14:23
Yo Pontius or whatever,

I understand you gots a direct line to the Big G, and I was wondering - can you get him to fix my Pontiac? It makes a funky noise every time I get above 45. Also, see if you can get him to make my wife stop bugging me about a mink coat, we live in Florida for chrissake!

Um, don't tell him I took his name in vain, aight?

One last thing, and I realize it's kinda a long shot...try to get next weeks PowerBall lottery number out of the Old Man. I'll give you a fair split.

Hope you're digging the new job. Try not to let all the choirboy jokes get you down, folks is just trying to get you to loosen up a bit.

I better run, it's "Sexy Secrets Week" in the confession booth, and I'm running late.

Your faithful servant,
Leroy

jchidg1
22-04-2005, 14:25
Mein Fuhrer !


Damn, beat me to it.

jheisel
22-04-2005, 14:45
You know guys, I think Cosmo just took away some of my rep points.... I didn't actually have any but nevertheless...


Don't sweat it, I got your back.

Lled
22-04-2005, 14:47
Don't sweat it, I got your back.

Oh well I'm ok then. Watch out though as she often attacks from the flanks, coming straight out of the sun when you least expected.

jheisel
22-04-2005, 14:52
Oh well I'm ok then. Watch out though as she often attacks from the flanks, coming straight out of the sun when you least expected.

Or, as she would say, "It often attacks from flanks, the smallest is direct from the sun if you expected arriving"

Lled
22-04-2005, 15:06
Or, as she would say, "It often attacks from flanks, the smallest is direct from the sun if you expected arriving"

Pal, you are her

TinyToes
23-04-2005, 04:55
hey, guys,

I found an interesting answer to some of our questions, here it is:


http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&ncid=738&e=1&u=/ap/20050422/ap_on_re_eu/vatican_pope_s_e_mail&sid=84439559

I wonder if they are going to put an extract from That Letter there one day...

sincerely
TT

Lled
23-04-2005, 09:35
Strangely I feel THAT LETTER is going to set off the next Spanish Inquisition. Just a hunch but nevertheless, just in case, I shall now go into hiding for, oh let's see, 100 years.

:inquis:

TinyToes
23-04-2005, 16:07
Strangely I feel THAT LETTER is going to set off the next Spanish Inquisition. Just a hunch but nevertheless, just in case, I shall now go into hiding for, oh let's see, 100 years.

:inquis:


I would call that "The Expat Inquisition"

Lled
23-04-2005, 16:09
I would call that "The Expat Inquisition"


Call it what you want, gorgeous, I'm off to The Seychelles until it's over... :verycool:

TinyToes
23-04-2005, 16:12
Call it what you want, gorgeous, I'm off to The Seychelles until it's over... :verycool:


I'm off to the shower to think it over

Lled
23-04-2005, 16:16
:thumbsup:


I'm off to the shower to think it over

CaveMan
23-04-2005, 16:43
Call it what you want, gorgeous, I'm off to The Seychelles until it's over... :verycool:

Ohhh no you won't :evil: .....As far as you'll go is the cowland !!! (for those don't know, small country between Italy, Germany, France and Italy....)

Lled
24-04-2005, 12:17
Watching the Pope's wedding, sorry inauguration , this morning (the soft porn is finished on Private Blue) he just "venerated" the table. Can anyone explain what that means because, to me at least, it looked very much like he kissed the table. Huh?

Can we please have a pope smilie?

plastique
24-04-2005, 23:26
When i was in Rome with the man all i heard about was how he wanted to wear the Pope hat...then when the Pope died he tried to plot to take the pope hat...what the heck is with the Pope hat?
And how can the Swiss guard really expect to be taken seriously in those outfits...really...Anyone need any other examples of how the church is a wee bit resistent to change? Mark my words, the first Pope that gets rid of those silly get ups will be the one that gives you condoms.

TinyToes
25-04-2005, 08:48
And how can the Swiss guard really expect to be taken seriously in those outfits...really...

Oops, not the right login, how'd that happen???

Lled
25-04-2005, 11:15
TT

Did the bugger answer you yet????

TinyToes
25-04-2005, 11:19
TT

Did the bugger answer you yet????


well, no.
and it makes me mad.
I have resent the letter earlier today.

Lled
25-04-2005, 11:24
well, no.
and it makes me mad.
I have resent the letter earlier today.

So you should, it's scandalous!

In the business world we have a 24-hour response standard to business queries. The Pope should be no different. You ask God for a miracle..Bang ... instant service, so why's the Pope such a slacker? Probably busy trying on his gold rings and big hats in front of the mirror.

TinyToes
25-04-2005, 11:34
So you should, it's scandalous!

In the business world we have a 24-hour response standard to business queries. The Pope should be no different. You ask God for a miracle..Bang ... instant service, so why's the Pope such a slacker? Probably busy trying on his gold rings and big hats in front of the mirror.



maybe he just didn't like me addressing to him as: Dear Pope... what you think?

Lled
25-04-2005, 11:39
maybe he just didn't like me addressing to him as: Dear Pope... what you think?

I told you shoulda attached that naked pic of you...

TinyToes
25-04-2005, 11:45
I told you shoulda attached that naked pic of you...


that's what I've done. let's see what kind of blessing he can offer us after that...

Lled
25-04-2005, 11:49
that's what I've done. let's see what kind of blessing he can offer us after that...

I have a hunch that'll delay the answer even more now...

TinyToes
25-04-2005, 11:51
I have a hunch that'll delay the answer even more now...


no, I wrote: "if you answer fast, I'll send you some more..."

Lled
25-04-2005, 11:52
no, I wrote: "if you answer fast, I'll send you some more..."

Phwaaaah ha ha ha

I suggest you send another little teaser with you wearing that nice little yellow top....

TinyToes
25-04-2005, 12:12
Pope is 'forgetful': brother

The new Pope Benedict's elder brother, Georg Ratzinger, 81, told Germany's Bild am Sonntag newspaper that the pontiff's main weakness was his forgetfulness.

"He sometimes misplaces things, and all of a sudden doesn't know where his watch, his keys or a specific paper are anymore," the paper quoted Ratzinger as saying.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,15075967-1702,00.html

boscoe
25-04-2005, 13:19
I could be wrong, but I don't think he'll need keys too much any more...

Lled
25-04-2005, 13:55
Pope is 'forgetful': brother

The new Pope Benedict's elder brother, Georg Ratzinger, 81, told Germany's Bild am Sonntag newspaper that the pontiff's main weakness was his forgetfulness.

"He sometimes misplaces things, and all of a sudden doesn't know where his watch, his keys or a specific paper are anymore," the paper quoted Ratzinger as saying.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,15075967-1702,00.html

So the old git can remember 1000's of pages of latin out of the New Testament but bugger me if he can't remember where he put the report on new choirboys he was just reading? Oh please.

TinyToes
25-04-2005, 13:57
I could be wrong, but I don't think he'll need keys too much any more...


I just wanted to make sure he doesn't forget to send us the blessin...
(was I flirting with the Pope? oh, gosh, am I ready to go till the end?..... :devilish: )

Lled
25-04-2005, 14:00
I just wanted to make sure he doesn't forget to send us the blessin...
(was I flirting with the Pope? oh, gosh, am I ready to go till the end?..... :devilish: )

I have no doubt he is currently working on a personal message to the expat.ru community. It'll have something to do with fire & brimstone, the number of the beast, burn in hell and stop adultering thy coveted neighbour or something.....

DJ Biscuit
25-04-2005, 14:02
But nothing about false idols, over elaborate ceremonies, ammassing huge amounts of gold, diamond studded prayer books, choir boys and big hats.

Shatneresque
25-04-2005, 14:04
(was I flirting with the Pope? oh, gosh, am I ready to go till the end?..... :devilish: )
Just do it!

Lled
25-04-2005, 14:06
But nothing about false idols, over elaborate ceremonies, ammassing huge amounts of gold, diamond studded prayer books, choir boys and big hats.

Don't be silly. That's what God looks out for. He absolutely loves ostentatious people in enormous hats waffling on about stuff that has little if any relevance to the starving, disease-ridden, poverty-stricken masses of Africa.

He feels good EVERY time he sees another gold candlestick.

DJ Biscuit
25-04-2005, 14:15
How do you like this story, it's absolutely true and I don't know what it says about the church but it says a lot about where we live:

A female friend went to the doctor a week or so ago complaining of a sore neck, she could hardly move her head.

His advice?

He said: ''Why don't you go to church and light a candle, it'll become easier then''

I was flabbergasted to say the least. Witch doctor? Third world? I dunno but I would sue the tw*t, that's outrageous in this day and age.

Lled
25-04-2005, 14:19
How do you like this story, it's absolutely true and I don't know what it says about the church but it says a lot about where we live:

A female friend went to the doctor a week or so ago complaining of a sore neck, she could hardly move her head.

His advice?

He said: ''Why don't you go to church and light a candle, it'll become easier then''

I was flabbergasted to say the least. Witch doctor? Third world? I dunno but I would sue the tw*t, that's outrageous in this day and age.

Well, MAYBE when she said to him "Doctor my neck hurts", MAYBE he understood her to have said "Doctor I feel my life is devoid of spirituality and I feel the urge to find something to believe in besides my bank account and Tottenham"

MAYBE I'm an idiot.

DJ Biscuit
25-04-2005, 14:23
You could be right. They always say (over and over) that Russian is a very rich language and has so many nuances, so it's possible the doctor misunderstood, misinterpreted.

Or it's malpractice.

Lled
25-04-2005, 14:24
You could be right. They always say (over and over) that Russian is a very rich language and has so many nuances, so it's possible the doctor misunderstood, misinterpreted.

Or it's malpractice.

I thought for a good malpractice thing you gotta at least leave a spanner in there and some grease.

TinyToes
25-04-2005, 14:27
Well, MAYBE when she said to him "Doctor my neck hurts", MAYBE he understood her to have said "Doctor I feel my life is devoid of spirituality and I feel the urge to find something to believe in besides my bank account and Tottenham"

MAYBE I'm an idiot.


That was a great one!
I almost love you for that!

Lled
25-04-2005, 14:28
That was a great one!
I almost love you for that!

Typical, you would nearly love an idiot. Well, then I will nearly spank you.

TinyToes
25-04-2005, 14:30
Typical, you would nearly love an idiot. Well, then I will nearly spank you.


oh, nearly thank you for that!

Lled
25-04-2005, 14:41
oh, nearly thank you for that!

Any time

:cool: :iloveyou: