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Random
12-04-2005, 14:18
OK People - last night after the Bee joke was posted - a few of us had a lager or three and I am convinced that there is a shop somewhere in Moscow that sells Bee's by the kilo - It has hundreds of types of honey this shop !

So a) where is this shop and what is it called ? b) does it have a website ?

Also given that you can buy bee's by the kilo - how many bees in a kilo ? and do you get free ones if they flying about the bag in which they are being weighed ?

Lled
12-04-2005, 14:20
Originally posted by Random
OK People - last night after the Bee joke was posted - a few of us had a lager or three and I am convinced that there is a shop somewhere in Moscow that sells Bee's by the kilo - It has hundreds of types of honey this shop !

So a) where is this shop and what is it called ? b) does it have a website ?

Also given that you can buy bee's by the kilo - how many bees in a kilo ? and do you get free ones if they flying about the bag in which they are being weighed ?

I swear I'm gonna p*ss myself at work today

:thumbsup:

CatGirl
12-04-2005, 14:23
where did you get it, anyway???!!!

Random
12-04-2005, 14:25
What the bee's ?

You can buy them !! Look there's one in the window !!

joners66
12-04-2005, 14:25
Ther was a shop on Lenigradsky prospect in 1994 where you could buy a fuul on old fashioned canvas beekeepers outfit....really....my mates used to try to get me pissed so I would tell them where it was....Im going to take the secret to the grave....
Bought a kilo of bees once...not a good buzzz (ouch)

Lled
12-04-2005, 14:26
Given that all bees in question would be in an enclosed space (a box, a bag, whatever), it would make no difference whether they are flying or just, ummm, doing whatever else bees do when not flying, sitting and smoking, I suppose.

They'll still all be making up the weight of an enclosed space, including air, so ummm, there you go.

And you get 3 bees to the kilo by the way, sometimes 4 after hibernation. They're big.

sparky
12-04-2005, 14:29
Originally posted by Random

Also given that you can buy bee's by the kilo - how many bees in a kilo ? and do you get free ones if they flying about the bag in which they are being weighed ?

So the question is, do flying bees contribute anything to the overall weight of the bag?
Discuss (10 marks)

Surok
12-04-2005, 14:29
speak nicely to the people at house of honey on novokuznetskaya and they'll give you bonus bees : )

joners66
12-04-2005, 14:29
3 bees to the kilo?
Blimey, begs the question of how many bees could you take out.........

Random
12-04-2005, 14:30
Joners that has to be (bee geddit ) the place !!

No way 3 bees - If they are in a box and one is flying about the place then it wont register on the scales !!

So it would be for free !!

I guess you weigh a hive and then count all the bees and then you would have a rough idea ....

Random
12-04-2005, 14:30
Originally posted by Surok
speak nicely to the people at house of honey on novokuznetskaya and they'll give you bonus bees : )

Oh man ! Maybe this is the place !!!

Random
12-04-2005, 14:31
Originally posted by joners66
3 bees to the kilo?
Blimey, begs the question of how many bees could you take out.........

what if they was on a basketball court aged 5 ??

:D

Lled
12-04-2005, 14:33
Originally posted by Random
Joners that has to be (bee geddit ) the place !!

No way 3 bees - If they are in a box and one is flying about the place then it wont register on the scales !!

So it would be for free !!

I guess you weigh a hive and then count all the bees and then you would have a rough idea ....

You weigh a hive you'd be weighing the bee poo aswell

DJ Biscuit
12-04-2005, 14:35
Now now, beehive yourself!

DPG
12-04-2005, 14:36
What the beejesus are you lot on about??

joners66
12-04-2005, 14:37
you would need the services of a state registered bee age determiner.... a basketball court with a very low ceiling ...but I reckon the easiest option is to get chubby five year olds make them wear yellow and black stripey jumpers and wings made from old metal coat hangers and bash them instead...........

DJ Biscuit
12-04-2005, 14:38
Beets me, hive no idea.

Random
12-04-2005, 14:38
Originally posted by joners66
you would need the services of a state registered bee age determiner.... a basketball court with a very low ceiling ...but I reckon the easiest option is to get chubby five year olds make them wear yellow and black stripey jumpers and wings made from old metal coat hangers and bash them instead...........

LOL

:D

DJ Biscuit
12-04-2005, 14:39
Originally posted by joners66
you would need the services of a state registered bee age determiner.... a basketball court with a very low ceiling ...but I reckon the easiest option is to get chubby five year olds make them wear yellow and black stripey jumpers and wings made from old metal coat hangers and bash them instead...........

For further details go to : www.michaeljackson.com

DPG
12-04-2005, 14:39
Probably none of our beesiness anyway...

joners66
12-04-2005, 14:39
SWARM TODAY ENNIT?

DPG
12-04-2005, 14:41
Wouldn't know - I'm at home reSTING in front of the TV!

DJ Biscuit
12-04-2005, 14:42
Do you think Bees listen to Sting?

DPG
12-04-2005, 14:43
No - it reminds them that they die!

DJ Biscuit
12-04-2005, 14:43
DPG, you beat me to it, oh well ho hum!

DPG
12-04-2005, 14:44
More likely the Bee Gees!!

Lled
12-04-2005, 14:44
Originally posted by DJ Biscuit
Do you think Bees listen to Sting?

Sure, I'll bet gives them a real buzz

joners66
12-04-2005, 14:44
WASPolice the group he was in?

Random
12-04-2005, 14:44
Do female bees have their hair in a Beehive ??

joners66
12-04-2005, 14:45
A word in your ear...................
WAX

DPG
12-04-2005, 14:46
Random - You won't beelieve me becauase I don't have pictures, but I think they do!

Lled
12-04-2005, 14:46
Originally posted by Random
Do female bees have their hair in a Beehive ??

And do the bee teenagers turn into rebelious little Bea(e)tniks?

DPG
12-04-2005, 14:47
Yep, they beeat up the beespectacled ones and call them 4-eyes!

joners66
12-04-2005, 14:48
And do the bee teenagers turn into rebelious little Bea(e)tniks?

Yes but when they get passed eight they become beenign

Lled
12-04-2005, 14:49
Originally posted by DPG
Yep, they beeat up the beespectacled ones and call them 4-eyes!

Yes I blame the Beetles with their buzzing Mersey Beets

DPG
12-04-2005, 14:50
That's it! Enough! I beeseach you to stop this!!

DPG
12-04-2005, 14:50
Or are we beehoved to continue?!

joners66
12-04-2005, 14:52
roll over bee thoven

DPG
12-04-2005, 14:53
Thought you were falling beehind then, but I see you'd actually BEEn thinking of a good one!

Lled
12-04-2005, 14:54
Actually, any biologists around? How much does a bee weigh? 0.5g maybe?

That makes 2000 bees in a kilo right?

Not many really

DPG
12-04-2005, 14:55
Originally posted by llednomis
Actually, any biologists around? How much does a bee weigh? 0.5g maybe?

That makes 2000 bees in a kilo right?

Not many really

You wouldn't say that if they all decided to sting you because they were bored!

DJ Biscuit
12-04-2005, 14:56
Do stop droning on.

DJ Biscuit
12-04-2005, 14:57
Bored?Is that because of the hum drum life they lead?

DPG
12-04-2005, 14:57
From Louisiana State University:


Q. How much does a bee weigh?
A. On average, a bee weighs a tenth of a gram.

Q. What is the size of a honey bee?
A. On average, from 12 to 16 millimeters (about to 5/8 inch for workers. Queens and Drones are longer.

Must bee from the beeology department.

DPG
12-04-2005, 14:58
Originally posted by DJ Biscuit
Bored?Is that because of the hum drum life they lead?

:thumbsup:!

DPG
12-04-2005, 15:00
Pondering it, that information may be outdated, must have been drawn from the archives...

sparky
12-04-2005, 15:00
In the town where I live we've got this guy who is about three sandwiches short of a picnic. He drinks in the bar down the road and one night one of the new neighbors stopped in for a pint. Turns out he's a beekeeper and has two or three hives at the bottom of his garden. Somehow we all got to talking about pets and we're comparing them all. The beekeeper tells us that bees are actually quite smart for insects and to prove it told us this:
Every morning at 5 he'd go out to the hives and flip the latches to let the bees out. They'd all fly down to the park and wouldn't return until around five sharp that evening when he replaced the latch. Our friend (the Looney) started laughing at this point and when we asked why he thought this was funny he said, "cos it's bull***t! Everybody knows the park gates don't open till 10!

DJ Biscuit
12-04-2005, 15:02
:D PMSL. Thanks.

plastique
12-04-2005, 15:14
remember this little beeeeut:
bet she's more than a kilo.

joners66
12-04-2005, 15:15
An Elephant meets a bee in the forest
The elephant says, how come Im so massive and powerful and big and strong and huge and you are so little and weedy and tiny and weak
and the bee says....
I I I I've been ill

DJ Biscuit
12-04-2005, 15:15
No idea who that is but she can buzz off!

Random
12-04-2005, 15:19
On average, a bee weighs a tenth of a gram.

So thats then 10 bees per gram 1,000grams per kilo so that 10 x 1,000

sooooo

10,000 Bees per kilo give or take a bee or two

Assuming they are all standing still and not fidgiting about

plastique
12-04-2005, 15:36
Originally posted by DJ Biscuit
No idea who that is but she can buzz off!


That's the annyoing bee girl from Blind Melon...or did they not hit it beeg across the pond?

DJ Biscuit
12-04-2005, 15:39
Never heard of it. There used to be a rock group called Blind Melon.

sparky
12-04-2005, 15:39
Blind Melon beeing what exactly?

DPG
12-04-2005, 15:42
They did release a couple of biggish songs in the UK if I remember...can't remember the songs though!

joners66
12-04-2005, 15:43
anything to do with the group deaf cabbage?

joners66
12-04-2005, 15:45
Blind melons greatist hits
walking into the lampost
Ill be seeing you


Frank Ifield has recorded a song with Johny Rotten called
I remember you, you c**t

Lled
12-04-2005, 15:47
Originally posted by DPG
They did release a couple of biggish songs in the UK if I remember...can't remember the songs though!

They were very neo-hippy, long hair and fuzzy video optics, flowery shirts and generally not very good.

joners66
12-04-2005, 15:48
Soon to be followed up by a Johny Rotten Barbara Streisand release called you dont bring me flowers anymore..w****r.

DJ Biscuit
12-04-2005, 15:48
'Rain' I think was a hit, late 80's early 90's group, long defunkt.

Deaf Cabbage? Oh yeah, it's cauliflowers that have ears isn't it.

plastique
12-04-2005, 15:50
the Bee girl was blind melon's mascot and was in their videos and on their ablum covers

joners66
12-04-2005, 15:56
Highly paid job that then..... dressing up as a bee so you can be a mascot to a blind lemon. Didnt get out much as a child I shouldnt wonder, too rigidly potty trained and eat too many Wendy burgers.............

Lled
12-04-2005, 15:57
Originally posted by Random
On average, a bee weighs a tenth of a gram.

So thats then 10 bees per gram 1,000grams per kilo so that 10 x 1,000

sooooo

10,000 Bees per kilo give or take a bee or two

Assuming they are all standing still and not fidgiting about

"Oi you two in the back row, stop stinging eachother ot I'll pull it off"

DJ Biscuit
12-04-2005, 15:57
Originally posted by plastique
the Bee girl was blind melon's mascot and was in their videos and on their ablum covers

Nice.

As someone mentioned they weren't much good and they didn't make it in Britain.

joners66
12-04-2005, 16:00
Perhaps sting could get someone dressed up as a blind melon to be his mascot?

DJ Biscuit
12-04-2005, 16:01
Perhaps Sting could just f**k off.

Lled
12-04-2005, 16:02
Originally posted by joners66
Highly paid job that then..... dressing up as a bee so you can be a mascot to a blind lemon. Didnt get out much as a child I shouldnt wonder, too rigidly potty trained and eat too many Wendy burgers.............

I ate alot of Wendy burgers as a student in the States. They're square actually, made perfect sense at the same but then I wasn't too sober those two years and consequently many other things made sense such as grocery shopping at 4am in the morning because we "needed" a bag of popcorn.

joners66
12-04-2005, 16:03
Best comment of the day!
and shove a blind melon up his ar*e while hes doing it!

DPG
12-04-2005, 16:04
Originally posted by DJ Biscuit
As someone mentioned they weren't much good and they didn't make it in Britain.

Just listened to a sample on amazon - yep, they are/were shite!

joners66
12-04-2005, 16:05
other things made sense such as grocery shopping at 4am in the morning because we "needed" a bag of popcorn.

Its called the munchies.......................................5am raid on the local 24hr garage for twix, mars, crisps etc

plastique
12-04-2005, 16:34
THey didn't make much of anything since one of the band members died....that's the buzz for now.

Lled
12-04-2005, 17:46
"It's got to beeeeeeeeeeeeeee, perfect"

Anyone else got their list if songs they absolutely HATE to round off this slightly left-of-center afternoon on expat.ru???

DJ Biscuit
12-04-2005, 17:51
Anything by Elton John.

Random
12-04-2005, 17:51
Dam !! I thought this was the center - now you tell me I am to the left of it ...

Sidney Bliss
12-04-2005, 18:13
Originally posted by DJ Biscuit
Perhaps Sting could just f**k off.

Agree. I've just whizzed off an email to him suggesting that he do exactly that.

Lled
12-04-2005, 18:16
Originally posted by Sidney Bliss
Agree. I've just whizzed off an email to him suggesting that he do exactly that.


:D

Random
12-04-2005, 18:17
Originally posted by Sidney Bliss
Agree. I've just whizzed off an email to him suggesting that he do exactly that.

You be carefull with that whizzer mate .....

Lled
12-04-2005, 18:18
Originally posted by Random
You be carefull with that whizzer mate .....

You don't want Michael Jackson getting a hold of it

Random
12-04-2005, 18:19
Or George Michael .....

Lled
12-04-2005, 18:20
or Mr Blobby

Random
12-04-2005, 18:23
Originally posted by llednomis
or Mr Blobby

So You've met Sid then ??? He is Mr Blobbys twin !!

Lled
12-04-2005, 18:27
Originally posted by Random
So You've met Sid then ??? He is Mr Blobbys twin !!

poor sod, you mean like he's pink with yellow spots all over?

Random
12-04-2005, 18:30
Why do you think he has that bag over his head !!

(He is gonna kill me when he sees me next !!)

:D

Lled
12-04-2005, 18:40
Originally posted by Random
Why do you think he has that bag over his head !!

(He is gonna kill me when he sees me next !!)

:D

Reuters: International playboy and keeper of a kilo of bees, Random, gets his whizzer torn off by big fat pink and yellow bloke wearing a paper bag

I can't cope.