Insane Squeezer
07-04-2005, 07:31
My wife and me are sitting in a Second Cup on Young Street, Toronto, next to a dark-skinned lady busy typing on her laptop. We are chatting in Russian, and that girl suddenly turns toward us and asks:
- Sorry, guys, are you speaking Russian?
We are stunned: Do you understand Russian?
-No, - she replies, - I just hear you are speaking some non-European language and you are white. So I supposed you should speak Russian. I love the things Russian, it is my dream to visit Russia. And I hate the things English; English colonized the world and made it to their own measure. I love Russians because they hate English imperialism too.
- Are you sure all the Russians hate the things English?
- Certainly! Stalin fought against British and American imperialists.
- Are you convinced that most of the Russian people still love Stalin?
- Don't they? Aren't you Jewish then, by the way?
- No, I am Christian.
- And your wife, isn't she Jewish?
- No, I am Russian,- Julia replies.
- Hmmm,- the dark lady grumps. - I was 100% convinced all Russian people must love Stalin because he fought against British and American imperialists and oppressed the Jews.
- And where are YOU from? - I counter-attack.
- I am from Ethiopia but I left it 25 years ago, when the Soviets overthrew the king and introduced pro-Moscow regime there.
- Sorry, and you are nevertheless convinced that Soviet imperialism was the better choice for the Third World than the Western one? How could we communicate now unless English people spread their language around the world?
- Absolutely convinced, because Soviets fought against English.
Period.
- Sorry, guys, are you speaking Russian?
We are stunned: Do you understand Russian?
-No, - she replies, - I just hear you are speaking some non-European language and you are white. So I supposed you should speak Russian. I love the things Russian, it is my dream to visit Russia. And I hate the things English; English colonized the world and made it to their own measure. I love Russians because they hate English imperialism too.
- Are you sure all the Russians hate the things English?
- Certainly! Stalin fought against British and American imperialists.
- Are you convinced that most of the Russian people still love Stalin?
- Don't they? Aren't you Jewish then, by the way?
- No, I am Christian.
- And your wife, isn't she Jewish?
- No, I am Russian,- Julia replies.
- Hmmm,- the dark lady grumps. - I was 100% convinced all Russian people must love Stalin because he fought against British and American imperialists and oppressed the Jews.
- And where are YOU from? - I counter-attack.
- I am from Ethiopia but I left it 25 years ago, when the Soviets overthrew the king and introduced pro-Moscow regime there.
- Sorry, and you are nevertheless convinced that Soviet imperialism was the better choice for the Third World than the Western one? How could we communicate now unless English people spread their language around the world?
- Absolutely convinced, because Soviets fought against English.
Period.