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Ned Kelly
23-03-2005, 13:57
Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day.

Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world."

Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the
world."

Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the ugliest person in the world."

They decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records
to have their claims verified.

Sleeping Beauty went first and came out looking deliriously happy. "It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world."

Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am officially the smallest person in the world."

Sometime later, Quasimodo came out looking confused and asked, "Who the Hell is Camilla Parker Bowles?"

Halyavshik
23-03-2005, 14:15
She may be ugly, but she's gonna be married to the king of England.

kniga
23-03-2005, 14:17
And?

Ned Kelly
23-03-2005, 14:17
thanks for that hal!

sfjohns67
23-03-2005, 14:18
Originally posted by Halyavshik
She may be ugly, but she's gonna be married to the king of England. Which makes about as much sense as me saying "My weiner might be only an inch long, but at least it's as big around as a No. 2 pencil."

Halyavshik
23-03-2005, 14:18
Originally posted by kniga
And?

Like that isn't enough.

kniga
23-03-2005, 14:18
Halfacheek,

When an English matron snipped at Sir Winston Churchill that he was drunk, he replied, "Yes, and you are ugly, but in the morning I will be sober."

Halyavshik
23-03-2005, 14:19
Originally posted by sfjohns67
That makes about as much sense as me saying "My weiner might be only an inch long, but at least it's as big around as a No. 2 pencil."

You REALLY have to stop projecting, SFJ.

Halyavshik
23-03-2005, 14:20
Originally posted by kniga
Halfacheek,

When an English matron snipped at Sir Winston Churchill that he was drunk, he replied, "Yes, and you are ugly, but in the morning I will be sober."

And her husband'll still be King !

Ned Kelly
23-03-2005, 14:22
Originally posted by Halyavshik
And her husband'll still be King !

hal, you're taking the impartial robot-like moderator just a little too far!

kniga
23-03-2005, 14:23
Halfacheek,

Yeah, it's possible to survive an ugly wife -- look at Bill Clinton!

boscoe
23-03-2005, 14:24
Originally posted by Halyavshik
She may be ugly, but she's gonna be married to the king of England.

As the song says “it aint necessarily so!”

sfjohns67
23-03-2005, 14:24
Originally posted by Halyavshik
You REALLY have to stop projecting, SFJ. And you need quit trying to trot out half-remembered concepts from the Freshman Psyche class you got a 'C-minus' in way back when.

Besides, it really is that big.

Halyavshik
23-03-2005, 14:24
Originally posted by Ned Kelly
hal, you're taking the impartial robot-like moderator just a little too far!

Do you want me to go 'Broadmoor' on your *ss ?

Halyavshik
23-03-2005, 14:25
Originally posted by sfjohns67
And you need quit trying to trot out half-remembered concepts from the Freshman Psyche class you got a 'C-minus' in way back when.

Passive aggression.

Ned Kelly
23-03-2005, 14:26
careful, or i'll trot out a little winston wu.

koba65
23-03-2005, 14:26
Originally posted by Halyavshik
She may be ugly, but she's gonna be married to the king of England.

She's gonna marry William?

Halyavshik
23-03-2005, 14:28
Originally posted by koba65
She's gonna marry William?

Look, he may be cute, but there's that whole succession thing he's gotta deal with.

sfjohns67
23-03-2005, 14:28
Originally posted by Halyavshik
Passive aggression. Fugue state.

Halyavshik
23-03-2005, 14:29
Originally posted by Ned Kelly
careful, or i'll trot out a little winston wu.

Your Wu is no match for my Banned 1st.

Ned Kelly
23-03-2005, 14:30
Originally posted by Halyavshik
Your Wu is no match for my Banned 1st.

had to go the star wars option didn't you? ned's MAD program just collapsed.

boscoe
23-03-2005, 14:32
Originally posted by Halyavshik
Do you want me to go 'Broadmoor' on your *ss ?

Careful that’s the second time he’s been mentioned… one more and he may return…. Again!

koba65
23-03-2005, 14:33
Originally posted by Ned Kelly
had to go the star wars option didn't you? ned's MAD program just collapsed.

You both should be quite, or you'll wake up a sleeping Polar Bear...

boscoe
23-03-2005, 14:36
OH Sh*T!

DJ Biscuit
23-03-2005, 14:37
Originally posted by Halyavshik
Look, he may be cute, but there's that whole succession thing he's gotta deal with.

So, Charles will be King of England? So who's going to be King of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland? Not to mention the Commonwealth.

It is no forgone conclusion that Charles WILL become King.

What do you envision in her being married to the future King positevely? That should she become surplus to requirements she will be bumped off by the Secret Services? Oh joy!

Random
23-03-2005, 14:42
Originally posted by DJ Biscuit
What do you envision in her being married to the future King positevely? That should she become surplus to requirements she will be bumped off by the Secret Services? Oh joy!

Only if she starts shopping in Harrods .....

:p

koba65
23-03-2005, 14:47
Originally posted by DJ Biscuit
So, Charles will be King of England? So who's going to be King of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland? Not to mention the Commonwealth.

It is no forgone conclusion that Charles WILL become King.

What do you envision in her being married to the future King positevely? That should she become surplus to requirements she will be bumped off by the Secret Services? Oh joy!

I'll put some money down that Charles will NEVER be King.

DJ Biscuit
23-03-2005, 14:53
So what you're saying is Halyavshik doesn't know what he's talking about?


Fair enough.

boscoe
23-03-2005, 14:54
Hal talking crap!?!? - Never ;)

Larisa2005
23-03-2005, 15:02
I'm sorry, dear beautiful Ladies and Gentlemen,
but if Camilla Parker Bowles is ugly, let’s remind ourselves the face of her husband to be.
Future king, or not, but he is ugly as hell himself!
So, mathematically speaking “-“ and “-“ gives us “+” => they make a beautiful couple!

DJ Biscuit
23-03-2005, 15:05
I have one important question about all this:


WHO CARES?

DJ Biscuit
23-03-2005, 15:45
Originally posted by boscoe
Careful that’s the second time he’s been mentioned… one more and he may return…. Again!

Did he ever really leave?

Random
23-03-2005, 15:55
Originally posted by DJ Biscuit
I have one important question about all this:


WHO CARES?

No one since we are not getting the day off !

:cool:

DJ Biscuit
23-03-2005, 15:58
LOL.

As we are here and not there it would make no difference.

In a previous job my Russian boss told me that as I am in Russia British holidays do not apply and as I am English Russian holidays also do not apply to me! :D

Random
23-03-2005, 16:12
Look at it another way - his mum even didn't want to go !!

DJ Biscuit
23-03-2005, 16:17
I don't look at it any way to be honest.

I care not what those buffoons do. After all, they're not even British!!
:D

Random
23-03-2005, 16:20
So we are back to the Blackadder sketch -

Darling: Four verses! Four verses! I meant four verses! Look, I'm as British as Queen Victoria.

Edmund: So your father's German, you're half German, and you married a German?

:D