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plastique
20-03-2005, 17:56
Southern Wurds

Southern Wurds

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."


JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."


MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."


IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"


RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."


ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."


FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."


Y'ALL -- noun. A degree of rotation.
Usage: "There are three degrees of Southern rotation: Pitch, Roll, and Y'all."


BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"


TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eifel Tire in Paris sometime."


HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.
HOD - adverb. Not easy.
Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."


RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."


TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."


RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."
(Today's Southern Word comes from a school teacher in America's southern most state: Hawaii. As part of her class' study of the "War of Northern Aggression" (known to Yankees at the "Civil War"), she showed her class the movie Gettysburg. The students wondered why the Confederacy was fighting for their "rats." The answer, of course, is obvious: Southerners have very friendly rats ... in fact, you could almost say that we have some downright civil rats.)


LOT - adjective. Luminescent.
Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."


FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."



DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."



EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"


BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."



JU-HERE - a question.
Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"


HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."



SEED - verb, past tense.
VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"



HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"



WARSH - verb. To clean.
SQUARSH - noun. A vegetable (also verb - to flatten).
Usage: "Warsh that squarsh, Bubba ... you don't know where its been!"



GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"



JUICY - Contraction. A question.
GUFF - Noun. A deep chasm.
Usage: "Juicy the Guff of Mexico?"



MARKINS - Noun. Citizens of the United States.
Usage: "My fellow Markins..."



PROSS - Noun. The value or cost of an item.
Usage: "That there prom dress sho is purty, but it is not worth the pross."



PARAMOUR - Noun. An automated device for cutting grass.
Usage: "What kinda deal you gonna make me on that paramour?"



RICE - Noun. A contest of speed.
Usage: "Y'all going out to Talledega to see the rice?"

Submitted by Bubba

Y'allbonics New Southern Speech Patterns

Y'allbonics
Not to be outdone by Ebonics in California, the Southern Association of Colleges & Schools is requesting billions of federal dollars to teach "Y'allbonics" in all classrooms south of the Mason-Dixon line. Included here are some samples of "Y'allbonics." If you do not understand any of them, contact a Southerner for an explanation.

HEIDI: (noun) Greeting.

HIRE YEW: (complete sentence) Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"

BARD: (verb) Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH: (noun) The state north of Florida. Capital is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER: (noun) The state west of Jawjuh. Capital is Berminhayum. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS: (noun) A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK: (verb) Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a Coke."

RANCH: (noun) A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I leff my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL: (noun) A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR: (noun) A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR: (noun) A rubber wheel. Usage: "I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE: (noun) A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, Ah sure hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Pars sometime."

RETARD: (verb) To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FARN: (adjective) Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

DID: (adjective) Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."

ARE: (noun) A colorless, odorless gas; oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR: (noun) A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

plastique
20-03-2005, 17:58
Redneck level test for SFJ and Fa-Q
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/25552.html

plastique
20-03-2005, 18:01
An insight to what it is to be southern:

- You May be a Redneck if.......

You may be a Redneck if.....


You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You burn your yard rather than mow it.

You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

You come back from the dump with more than you took.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.

You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

You've bathed with flea and tick soap.

You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.

You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.

You took a fishing pole to Sea World.

You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

You have a rag for a gas cap.

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

You can spit without opening your mouth.

You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.

You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.

The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.

You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.

Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvement.

You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

DJ Biscuit
20-03-2005, 18:02
:D

Enjoyed. :agree:

koba65
20-03-2005, 22:46
Originally posted by DJ Biscuit
:D

Enjoyed. :agree:


And for those who don't speak Scouse:

http://www.pettitt.fsnet.co.uk/Dictionary/A.htm

Chiara
20-03-2005, 22:56
I don't know who wrote that Scouse dictionary- seems like some Professor of Linguistics at Oxford who has never been further North in his life.

Still, a few phrases I haven't heard in a while- almost makes me homesick (but not as much as a 2-1 derby win does)