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crom
11-03-2005, 16:41
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas'
pilots, and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.

(P = the problem logged by the pilot.)
(S= the solution and action taken by mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per
minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Halyavshik
11-03-2005, 17:10
Probably nothing more than collected humor

http://www.snopes.com/travel/airline/squawk.asp

Random
11-03-2005, 17:22
Originally posted by Halyavshik
Probably nothing more than collected humor

http://www.snopes.com/travel/airline/squawk.asp


Killjoy !! :p