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Random
09-03-2005, 10:07
Two men dressed in Pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle of the airplane.
Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the
other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane. Nervous
laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door
closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing
nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical
joke.

None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway,
and the people sitting in the window seats realise they're headed straight
for the water at the end of the airport territory. As it begins to look as
though the plane will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.
At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax
and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines,
secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says,
"You know Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late
and we're all gonna die!"

Braders
09-03-2005, 13:39
Nothing could make me smile today Random!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

crom
09-03-2005, 14:05
A young man, John, received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad

attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's

mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to

change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words,

playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the

bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier

and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the

bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and

kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was

heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly

opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto

John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and

actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I

fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,





"May I ask what the turkey did?"

Random
09-03-2005, 14:50
Originally posted by Braders
Nothing could make me smile today Random!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now that is a shame - Me I have a great smile !! :D

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D