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Olim
21-02-2005, 20:45
Basically, this is the situation: the flat is a sh*t-tip. My gf works all hours and I am currently on leave so it's my responsibility to clean it and 99% of it is my mess anyway. It's not dirty- there's nothing rotting or growing- it just needs a good tidy up.

However, I seem to have a million and one other things to do rather than begin the clear-up. In the past few days, I have discovered special skills that enable me to lay in bed for 18 hours a day, read The Economist from cover to cover, alphabeticise my music collection and basically do anything, even post on this site, rather than tidy up. In fact, I have been sat in this chair for 2 hours now doing absolutely nothing, just looking at the mess.

I know many people on here can empathise so if you could give me any hints on how to get my arse into gear, I'd be very grateful. We pay too much for the flat to live like pigs in it.

Cheers.

mediashark
21-02-2005, 21:32
Go to ikea and get a few storage boxes if you don't have a few cardboard boxes. Your first step is to allocate one box for each room. Then toss everything that belongs in the livingroom/kitchen/bedroom in the respective boxes. Or classify them into mine/my-gf. Or magazines/books/knick-knacks/CDs/etc
The encouragement will come when you realise that the mess can somehow be organized when you look at those boxes...

Olim
21-02-2005, 21:41
Thanks for the tip. Unfortunately, I have only about 2 hours til the missus gets home and if I haven't made a start, there'll be no jollies for Olim tonight, so no time to nip down to Ikea but a good one for the future.

P.I.M.P.
21-02-2005, 21:49
I can only clean when the wife is out. Find a great CD and turn it up. The rest will come easy.

Olim
21-02-2005, 21:59
Oh sod it, I'll just turn off all the lights before she gets home. I'll do it tomorrow.....

DPG
21-02-2005, 22:39
Just move things round a bit - furniture included...that way it looks like you've done something and she won't mind...!

Failing that, cook her dinner and stick her favourite film in the dvd player/favourite music in the cd player for when she gets back!

Olim
21-02-2005, 22:50
Anyway, I daren't touch her handbags. Last time I touched the Hermes I got a slap! Nor am I allowed to handle the shoes, eight pairs of which I can see strewn all over the floor, not to mention two wardrobes full of clothes and more shoes. My stuff is in a small closet and takes up roughly a tenth of her space. I can't possibly get to all my untidy things without touching hers.

Bugger it- how is a man supposed to work under these conditions? I'll shove what I can under the cupboard and bed and feign sleep. Hopefully, she'll be a bit pissed and won't notice....

I am not taking nay more leave from work ever- I am turning into Jim Royle :(

mediashark
22-02-2005, 01:33
I guess you can turn off the lights... or replace the working bulbs with blown ones--that way keep her in the dark and when she trips over her own shoes, she'll learn to put them away.

Tim Ockwell
22-02-2005, 01:44
Go to the bottle - of whisky, whiskey, vodka, rum or whatever - and when g-f returns you say "it was so boring without you, there was nothing to do except get pissed - let's go to bed then tidy up together in the morning"

RedCosmonaut
22-02-2005, 01:48
Olim.........Dostoyevsky's narrator in The Brothers Karamazov has a useful philosophy:

“Being at a loss to resolve these questions, I am resolved to leave them without any resolution”.

Be relaxed. Be happy.

RC