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ChrisC30
09-02-2005, 18:51
Ok, here goes.

I've been emailing and writing back and forth with a lovely Russian girl, well 27 makes her a woman.

Things are heating up abit, and we've discussed meeting physically, probably becoming VERY serious.

With all the internet resources on dating Russian women I've come across, none seem to go into detail on the actual nuances of dating life.

How romantic is romantic?

What can I expect from a first meeting?

Should I be shocked if we begin kissing immediately? (Have heard that public affection isn't all that common.)

How long is a decent amount of time before asking her to marry me?

Are there any common personality traits I should be aware of?

She lives in Kazan, and works in an office, occassionally goes to bars with her girlfriends, if that makes a difference.

Help/advice appreciated.


Chris

Crazyeelboy
09-02-2005, 19:00
Chris-

What are you looking for here? Do you really want to refer this aspect of your life to the advice of the motely crew on this forum? Make up your own mind and do whatever you want to do.

ChrisC30
09-02-2005, 19:07
Looking for opinions from people who might have them, suggestions, etc...

Or wasn't it clear from my post?

polly
09-02-2005, 19:09
I think you could ask the same questions about any girl from anywhere in the world. many of the answers to your question will really depend on the individual(s) involved, and not quite as much on the country s/he is from, imho.

sfjohns67
09-02-2005, 19:40
If she goes to bars, then she is most likely a prostitute. Therefore, you shouldn't expect kissing on the first date or any thereafter, as it is a well-known fact that prostitutes prefer not to kiss on the mouth. Instead, focus your efforts on convincing her that she'll be a step above the type of South Florida white trash you're used to suffering, and that you'll never dump her for a "Big Beautiful Woman" who owns her own trailer.

tbill
09-02-2005, 19:50
Flowers, lots of flowers.


Should I be shocked if we begin kissing immediately? (Have heard that public affection isn't all that common.)

Don't know about Kazan but a day does not pass where I don't see some kids making out at the metro. Usually they don't let you join in.

ChrisC30
09-02-2005, 20:01
sfjohns67 -

I have never dated a woman who lived in, or owned a trailer, and I'm not in South Florida. If you expect only prostitutes go to bars, maybe you've been hanging out in the wrong ones. ;)

Thanks all. Keep it coming as you like.
tbill - thanks on the flowers. I already know odd is better than even. Do they really only give even flowered bouquets for funerals? That's what I had heard, but forget where.

Chris

85StoneWhiteFurball
09-02-2005, 20:12
yes - ODD numbered bouquets only in Russia - even are indeed for funerals.

Maine Surfer
09-02-2005, 20:36
Chris, just use common sence and be romantic. I find that Russian and American women are very similar when it comes to romance; make her feel special and unique.

trebor
09-02-2005, 20:41
.....................................i bet you don't even recognise her from her photo when you first meet.
BUT, Just remember, love is blind!

RDV
09-02-2005, 20:50
Originally posted by ChrisC30
Ok, here goes.

I've been emailing and writing back and forth with a lovely Russian girl, well 27 makes her a woman.

Things are heating up abit, and we've discussed meeting physically, probably becoming VERY serious.

With all the internet resources on dating Russian women I've come across, none seem to go into detail on the actual nuances of dating life.

How romantic is romantic?

What can I expect from a first meeting?

Should I be shocked if we begin kissing immediately? (Have heard that public affection isn't all that common.)

How long is a decent amount of time before asking her to marry me?

Are there any common personality traits I should be aware of?

She lives in Kazan, and works in an office, occassionally goes to bars with her girlfriends, if that makes a difference.

Help/advice appreciated.


Chris

There is an endless list of questions to you and just as long a list of things to consider... You can't quite fit (even an email) relationship in a ten sentence post and hope to sort things out for something like this...

Here are a few...

1. Has that girl ever been outside of Kazan, let alone outside of the country?
2. Can either of you say for sure that she is going to like living in the US? If you've ever lived abroad, you know what this means.
3. Or are you coming to Kazan?...

ChrisC30
09-02-2005, 21:26
rdv -

1. She may have travelled some inside Russia, but hasn't been outside Russia before.

2. We haven't decided where we will live if married. I honestly would like to try living with her in Kazan, or elsewhere. I'm open.

3. We're discussing the nuances of either of us going to the other. I think I will probably end up visiting her in Kazan first, but ideally I would like to see her place and show her mine, and we can decide together after seeing eachother's lives.

Sorry, I must sound like a kid with some of my questions. I don't mean to seem that way. I'm referring to cultural differences, not how women are like worldwide. ;)

ChrisC30
09-02-2005, 21:28
trebor -

Maybe she will be different from her photos, but I don't really mind how she looks. As long as she is who she is in her letters I am happy. :)

Filimon
09-02-2005, 21:43
Remember, if "you" decide that she should visit you in the States and she asks you for money for a ticket/visa/pair of travel shoes/something to read on a plane - it is most probably a scam and she is really a hairy guy who likes to skim money from unsuspecting foreigners. The picture he sent you is his neighbour'sor he poached it from "mail bride" website.

Be careful, mate and check against the black list of Russian scammers - can't rememebr the address, but I am sure someone here can give it to you.

Good luck in any case!

trebor
09-02-2005, 21:46
Originally posted by ChrisC30
trebor -Maybe she will be different from her photos, but I don't really mind how she looks. As long as she is who she is in her letters I am happy. :)

Cute ChrisC30, i just hope you really mean it.

Wish1991
09-02-2005, 22:45
How did you start writing? One of you isn't in prison by any chance?!?

Seriously (I mean...we are a bunch of rude SOBs, so we can throw a sucker punch, right?), take a bit of time to learn a little about Russia. Some history (dozens of decent primers at your prison library or the local Borders), perhaps something ambitious (Figes' Natasha's Dance is the most recent definitive account of Russian culture) or a literary anthology (even the lowest of the low know Pushkin, Gogol, etc. over here). Understand the backdrop of the story, and events will unfold that much easier.

To what my esteemed colleagues have said...don't send her any money for tickets or anything, cuz it'll be a scam. Come yourself...and if it doesn't work out, there are plenty of diversions....

yankee@moscow
09-02-2005, 23:29
I'll be in Kazan next month. PM her phone number to me. I'll give you a first hand report.:)

ChrisC30
09-02-2005, 23:49
trebor -

I always mean what I say, except when I screw it up :P

ChrisC30
09-02-2005, 23:52
Wish1991 -

She sent me an email after finding my address in a chatroom one day. So we started emailing at first, and writing real letters after.

No, I don't intend to send money to her, although if necessary I will help her to get into the US to visit me. I'd like to see her first, get a feel for her surroundings. Plus I have a buddy in Kazan who can help me find more about her if she is not who she seems. ;)

Wish1991
10-02-2005, 00:17
In that case...in the immortal words of Samuel L Jackson, "Sh!t n@gro, that's all you had to say...!"

Real letters...I didn't even know the post works over here....

I must say to all the other posters...this guy is a good sport. Hasn't lost his cool like the other newbies who venture into the abyss....

ChrisC30
10-02-2005, 00:46
She has a P.O. Box. No phone at her home, so maybe no post delivery either.

I generally don't lose my cool unless severely agitated. ;)

Halyavshik
10-02-2005, 09:42
Originally posted by ChrisC30


How long is a decent amount of time before asking her to marry me?

Look, Chris, you seem genuine, but this is gonna come off as a mini-flame, regardless. How, for the love of Pete, can you ask about when it's acceptable to propose to a girl you've never met ? I think a relationship destined for marriage is predicated on love, which you can't have NEVER HAVING MET THE FRIGGIN' PERSON. That's not how it works, Jose. Real, meaningful, soul-sharin', spit-swappin' love evolves not from lookin' at each other's carefully selected and scanned snapshots sent through cyberspace along with a few lines about the weather.

Have you been to Russia before ? For a long time ? Do you speak Russian ? Can you hope to even begin to comprehend this woman's life, upbringing, views, morals, education, taste and why she likes pelmeni more than burgers ? If you've never even *seen* how this woman behaves, then you got a lot more pressing issues to worry about than when you can pop the big question, hoss.

There are so many men these days who seem to think that they can limit their choice in bride by nationality without even having the faintest idea of what that consists of aside from it being the "hot" choice currently. It's just shallow any way you slice it.

P.S. I guess I don't have to mention that the "hot" scam right now is for hackers/scammers to pretend to be nubile young Russian women ready to come meet you. They declare their love for you (the gullible Western man who falls in love over the internet and sends money to people he's never laid eyes on), and then hit you up for a few thousand bucks of expenses for tickets and visa expenses. How can you love someone that stands at least a 50% chance of being an internet scam ?

preacher of hedonism
10-02-2005, 09:53
Originally posted by ChrisC30
She has a P.O. Box. No phone at her home, so maybe no post delivery either.

I generally don't lose my cool unless severely agitated. ;) that's strange. kazan is a relatively wealthy city, i'm sure most apartments do have phones. and there is post delivery anwhere, even if you live in a frigging siberian village. it's just slow. normally one would use a p.o. box for anonymity reasons only. beware of scam.

preacher of hedonism
10-02-2005, 10:01
replying to your original post. a russian's opinion :)

How romantic is romantic? - nice cozy cafe, holding hands... flowers will do a good job.

What can I expect from a first meeting? - anything. if you mean "will she go down?" yes she might. but think that kazan is muslim, and they may have stronger morals there than in moscow

Should I be shocked if we begin kissing immediately? (Have heard that public affection isn't all that common.) - no you shouldn't. public affection is not uncommon. again, may be different in kazan

How long is a decent amount of time before asking her to marry me? - that's a really stupid question

Are there any common personality traits I should be aware of? - there are no common personalit traits in russians to my awareness, except that i believe that most chicks who look for foreigners on the net, are in fact looking for money/passport

She lives in Kazan, and works in an office, occassionally goes to bars with her girlfriends, if that makes a difference. - at least she is somewhat sociable

koba65
10-02-2005, 10:10
Originally posted by preacher of hedonism
that's strange. kazan is a relatively wealthy city, i'm sure most apartments do have phones. and there is post delivery anwhere, even if you live in a frigging siberian village. it's just slow. normally one would use a p.o. box for anonymity reasons only. beware of scam.

You'd be surprised. I had to interview approx. 15 people in Kazan - only 4 of them had phones. Plus, I know people in the Moscow area who do not have home phones - they just use their cell phone. I'd be willing to bet the girl has a cell phone, but to call it from the States would cost her a pretty penny.

About the P.O. Box - she could live in a komunalka or dormitory and perhaps prefers the security and privacy a P.O. Box affords her.

The scammers are usually fairly quick to cast subtle hints about money, gifts, tickets, etc. If she hasn't done this yet, she may actually be on the up and up.

Leslie Presley
10-02-2005, 10:21
@ ChrisC30

If you follow this dating advice (http://landoverbaptist.org/news0701/dating.html) you will not fail.

Filimon
10-02-2005, 13:04
Originally posted by koba65
You'd be surprised. I had to interview approx. 15 people in Kazan - only 4 of them had phones. Plus, I know people in the Moscow area who do not have home phones - they just use their cell phone. I'd be willing to bet the girl has a cell phone, but to call it from the States would cost her a pretty penny.

About the P.O. Box - she could live in a komunalka or dormitory and perhaps prefers the security and privacy a P.O. Box affords her.

The scammers are usually fairly quick to cast subtle hints about money, gifts, tickets, etc. If she hasn't done this yet, she may actually be on the up and up.

koba, it is VERY unusual for a Russian to just have a PO box. Think about - she has no phone but can afford to pay rent for the PO Box? It doesn't make sense.

Students living in the dormitories do have an address, in fact that was a way for a student in Moscow to get "propiska" (registration). All letters are delivered to the dormitory and collated by room number. A student in Russia would NEVER hire a PO Box. Unless they were running a buisiness requiring it, but that's very rare.

This is starting to smell bad.

Shatneresque
10-02-2005, 13:18
Originally posted by Filimon
koba, it is VERY unusual for a Russian to just have a PO box.
Generally, like everywhere else, Russians can and do rent PO boxes for privacy, particularly if they're looking to meet someone through a marriage/dating service. Also, since postal security is almost nonexistent here (and especially in the provinces), renting a box is one way of being (more) sure that you will get your mail, period (though the best way to ensure this is to send letters via registered mail).

preacher of hedonism
10-02-2005, 13:31
shat, i've never had any problems with postal security. and i guess there is a law that make the post office and the particular employer liable for damages if your post gets lost or damaged. i'm with filimon. po boxes are very unusual. as is no phone. even a mobile? c'mon! 70 million russians have mobiles, and incoming calls for something like c20 a minute?! most people can afford that especially if you are having a blind date with a foreigner. i smell fish

Filimon
10-02-2005, 13:40
Originally posted by Shatneresque
Generally, like everywhere else, Russians can and do rent PO boxes for privacy, particularly if they're looking to meet someone through a marriage/dating service. Also, since postal security is almost nonexistent here (and especially in the provinces), renting a box is one way of being (more) sure that you will get your mail, period (though the best way to ensure this is to send letters via registered mail).

I never said Russians can't or don't do it. It's just quite uncommon simply to have one and most certainly unusual to be able to pay for one and not to have a phone. If she set up a PO Box for dating services, that's kinda undermines the story of a girl simply lifitng an e-mail address from a chatroom.

Shatneresque
10-02-2005, 14:10
Originally posted by Filimon
If she set up a PO Box for dating services, that's kinda undermines the story of a girl simply lifitng an e-mail address from a chatroom.

I think it's common everywhere for people who do this to lift several addresses at once and start corresponding with more than one person. There's nothing necessarily wrong with it; after a month or two, they might decide that only one of these is worth continuing to write to. Anyway, regardless of her intentions, I would still understand her desire for privacy, whether she lives at home, in a dorm, wherever.

(I'd also be interested in checking out websites like Russian Brides and Soulseekers and see if she's posted an ad on any of them. She might have other (maybe innocent) long-distance relationships going....)

Shatneresque
10-02-2005, 14:15
Originally posted by preacher of hedonism
shat, i've never had any problems with postal security.

My experience is considerably different from yours: in the 14 years I've lived here, I've had mail stolen, gone through and picked clean, remain undelivered for months, and just plain disappear once I dropped it in the mailbox (and I ONLY use the ones inside Central Telegraph).

If you want to be sure your mail will reach its destination safely and unpilfered, you have to register it.

Halyavshik
10-02-2005, 14:16
Shat, no offense, man, but you're trying to argue with two Russians about something which is usual or unusual for Russians ? Ummm, I think I'll side with, hmmm, let me see: goofy American who takes late 60's sci-fi series over-acting star as login and avatar or two Russians. Lemme think here.

Shatneresque
10-02-2005, 14:21
Originally posted by Halyavshik
Shat, no offense, man, but you're trying to argue with two Russians about something which is usual or unusual for Russians ? Ummm, I think I'll side with, hmmm, let me see: goofy American who takes late 60's sci-fi series over-acting star as login and avatar or two Russians. Lemme think here.
Like I say, been here for 14 years---I've known and corresponded with a lot of Russians. And I've been asked more than once by them to send mail both registered and to PO boxes for the sake of security and privacy.

koba65
10-02-2005, 14:21
Originally posted by Halyavshik
Shat, no offense, man, but you're trying to argue with two Russians about something which is usual or unusual for Russians ? Ummm, I think I'll side with, hmmm, let me see: goofy American who takes late 60's sci-fi series over-acting star as login and avatar or two Russians. Lemme think here.


So you're siding with Captain Kirk....

koba65
10-02-2005, 14:27
Originally posted by Filimon
koba, it is VERY unusual for a Russian to just have a PO box. Think about - she has no phone but can afford to pay rent for the PO Box? It doesn't make sense.

Students living in the dormitories do have an address, in fact that was a way for a student in Moscow to get "propiska" (registration). All letters are delivered to the dormitory and collated by room number. A student in Russia would NEVER hire a PO Box. Unless they were running a buisiness requiring it, but that's very rare.

This is starting to smell bad.

When's the last time you tried to get a phone installed in Russia? Unless you can afford to pay to jump the queue you're going to wait a good long while. Plus, if she doesn't own the apartment she is living in why would she want to pay to have the phone installed?

You missed my point about the P.O. Box - she may want the security of it versus the dorm or komunalka mail system, etc. I've had at least 3 apartments in Moscow (out of the 8 I'ved lived in) in nice buildings that had the postal box completely destroyed (lid askew, keyhole jammed, etc.). She also might have pooled her money with a friend or two for the box. Who knows and who cares, we're all just speculating anyhow.

aysihsK
10-02-2005, 14:39
Originally posted by ChrisC30
She has a P.O. Box. No phone at her home, so maybe no post delivery either.

I generally don't lose my cool unless severely agitated. ;)

P.O.Box...:rolleyes: taking into account that Kazan is a really big city ...make sure you are the only person she writes letters to, Chris ;)

RDV
10-02-2005, 14:41
Originally posted by ChrisC30
She has a P.O. Box. No phone at her home, so maybe no post delivery either.


But there are moble calling plans in Russia with free incoming calls, etc., etc.

You can come up with any number of pros and cons in every situation but it's weird not to have A phone to communcate.

How is her English? If she writes letters that make sense, she probably speaks the language too. If she works in an office, ask for a phone number there. Simply tell her - I really want to hear your voice, where can I call? If the bottomline answer is nowhere, it's time to move on...

If she is really interested in you as a person as opposed to you as a sponsor, US citizen, etc., then she WILL find a way to make things work.

peyote
10-02-2005, 14:44
don't miss this fun, he he...
http://www.womenrussia.com/myths.htm

koba65
10-02-2005, 14:47
Originally posted by rdv
But there are moble calling plans in Russia with free incoming calls, etc., etc.

You can come up with any number of pros and cons in every situation but it's weird not to have A phone to communcate.

How is her English? If she writes letters that make sense, she probably speaks the language too. If she works in an office, ask for a phone number there. Simply tell her - I really want to hear your voice, where can I call? If the bottomline answer is nowhere, it's time to move on...

If she is really interested in you as a person as opposed to you as a sponsor, US citizen, etc., then she WILL find a way to make things work.

And I can just imagine what HER friends are probably telling her about him.. Best they just get together and see how it goes from there.

jules
10-02-2005, 17:26
Originally posted by rdv
If she works in an office, ask for a phone number there. Simply tell her - I really want to hear your voice, where can I call? If the bottomline answer is nowhere, it's time to move on...


Good call on the office phone idea - there's no way she could work at an office that doesn't have a phone!

Anybody see Birthday Girl with Nicole Kidman? Awful accent, but the movie itself gives some food for thought to any guy looking for an internet bride... The only way to fall in love is live and in person, in my opinion. The most beautifully written prose is almost always fiction.

Filimon
10-02-2005, 17:44
Are we going to use who's spent and how long in Russia to win an argument? Fair enough

I was born in Russia, lived there for 23 years, go there on a regular basis, have about a gazillion Russian friends, relatives, acquaintances, ex-colleagues, former lovers, coursemates, dorm mates, classmates, you name it. NOONE has, has had and as far as I know, is not going to have a PO Box just to protect privacy. May be in Moscow for business purposes, may be for dating sites, but it is NOT common in Russia in general - that was my point! If that girl has a PO box, she has an agenda and the author should not consider her as simply a random girl he just met on the Internet. She either has her name all over internet trying to meet a foreigner or is a scammer. If she is anything else - she is a very big exception!

gregs
10-02-2005, 17:58
Is a 'gazillion' more than 'a lot' !!??

Filimon
10-02-2005, 18:04
Originally posted by gregs
Is a 'gazillion' more than 'a lot' !!??

it's "a lot"+1 :)

Shatneresque
10-02-2005, 18:36
Originally posted by Filimon
Are we going to use who's spent and how long in Russia to win an argument? Fair enough

I was born in Russia, lived there for 23 years, go there on a regular basis, have about a gazillion Russian friends, relatives, acquaintances, ex-colleagues, former lovers, coursemates, dorm mates, classmates, you name it. NOONE has, has had and as far as I know, is not going to have a PO Box just to protect privacy. May be in Moscow for business purposes, may be for dating sites, but it is NOT common in Russia in general - that was my point! If that girl has a PO box, she has an agenda and the author should not consider her as simply a random girl he just met on the Internet. She either has her name all over internet trying to meet a foreigner or is a scammer. If she is anything else - she is a very big exception!

Wasn't arguing with you, and didn't say it was common. Just said I know from my own experience that it happens sometimes, and for any number of reasons.

It's not common anywhere in the world, so far as I know.

Never asked for an explanation in my examples either, simply honored the individuals' requests. Never uncovered anyone with an agenda either.

Fourteen years is enough time for anyone to form a judgement, even goofy Americans.

I agree 100% that the author should be careful when meeting somebody and not take her every word at face value. If he wants to check her out further on the Internet, that's probably a good idea, too.

On the other hand, her having a PO box does not automatically mean she's out to rip him off.

My point was simply that the poster should proceed with caution and common sense. That's all.

Filimon
10-02-2005, 19:01
I never categorically said she was out to get him either. I just pointed out that he should exercise a bit more caution than he would have, had she have given him her direct line, mobile and keys to the flat. That's all.

RedCosmonaut
10-02-2005, 19:06
My thoughts are that having never met, both of you may have an artificial - dare I say fantasy - notion in your heads as to the other. My advice would be simply to meet her, and give yourself a good period of time just being with her before you ask her to marry you. I suggest 6 months. Live together by all means, but don't wreck two lives because of some internet chat/correspondence relationship which may very well be more on paper than in real life.

RC

sfjohns67
10-02-2005, 19:10
Okay, I was goofing as usual with my last post, this time I'm serious.

Dude, the girl is a scam. Plain and simple, she is trying to milk you....

....um, wait a second, my intel sources just reminded me that 'liuboi' was from "Florida" as well.

F_ck off for now, unless you can convince me you're not a windup. Just in case you're for real, stick to the Florida rest area hookers, they're a lot less risky than going with a marriage vow sight-unseen. BTW, if you were serious about that, you're a blithering idiot.

ChrisC30
10-02-2005, 20:00
Filimon - She is looking to form a relationship, and it's not a "story" to judge. It's how it happened. Someone who is looking for her mate can have both a PO Box and go to chatrooms, you know. ;)

ChrisC30
10-02-2005, 20:06
rdv - We have spoken. Just she has no phone at home. Actually it as her who suggested the phone call. So her not having a phone in her home is nothing more than a point of observation.

ChrisC30
10-02-2005, 20:08
rdv -

Her English is...conversational. We can understand eachother, but it's maybe 70-80%. She uses a spellchecker or some such to make sure she spells words right, but it's obvious she types her own emails. ;)

ChrisC30
10-02-2005, 20:18
I know the time for asking when to marry appears a silly question. I was actually asking in regards to cultural expectations. How long is the "norm"?

Even here in the US a woman may expect a man is a deadbeat if he doesn't mention marriage plans within some timeframe. Luckily I don't live in those neighborhoods. :D

sfjohns67 - are you one of those people who wander about the net, trying to tie every forum poster in with some other identity based on their merely being from a state? If so, move on.

I agree, meeting is the best way to get to know eachother. And she has not asked me for money yet. She has expressed a desire for me to meet her, though. Bottom line, I will not send money to someone I have not met, outside of a business agreement. I am not Winston. :D

Ned Kelly
10-02-2005, 20:23
i'm sorry winston got the boot: someone with so much ceative energy should be encouraged, not spurned.

Halyavshik
10-02-2005, 20:34
Originally posted by Ned Kelly
i'm sorry winston got the boot: someone with so much ceative energy should be encouraged, not spurned.

Dude was a menace spamming things he copied from the twenty other boards he posted the same sh*te on merely to assuage his deep-seated insecurities of being the shallowest b*****d this side of the Urals.

Good riddance, I say.

Filimon
10-02-2005, 20:47
Originally posted by ChrisC30
Filimon - She is looking to form a relationship, and it's not a "story" to judge. It's how it happened. Someone who is looking for her mate can have both a PO Box and go to chatrooms, you know. ;)

Noone's judging anyone. I am Russian and I am just telling you that it is not normal for a Russian to just have a PO box. If she rented it it was for a purpose. Whether it was for dating purposes, to get letters from her mother or for her business of selling beads online I don't know. All I am trying to say is BE CAREFUL. I am trying to give you a good advice for chrissakes!

Check out these sites:

http://www.womenrussia.com/blacklist.htm
http://www.russianwomenblacklist.com/
http://www.russian-women-topsites.com/russian-women-scam.htm

I quote:

"When to be careful or even suspicious

...The person has no postal address or phone number to reach her (asking for personal information that you can check on her are not very welcome to ask and she will try to avoid these questions, or tell you that this is not important for you to know)..."

Sounds familiar?

I am not even trying to strike up a conversation with you (not that I wouldn't), just a bit of help.

Filimon
10-02-2005, 20:50
http://www.russianwomenblacklist.com/.search?p=Kazan&name=Search

Check this list as well.

Ned Kelly
10-02-2005, 21:00
Originally posted by Halyavshik
the shallowest b*****d this side of the Urals.

woah, big statement! we're talking a fiercely contested market there! but if it wasn't original material i take it back - he deserves the boot for unadulterated mediocrity.

ChrisC30
10-02-2005, 22:07
Thanks Filimon.

I've been to the sites. I've actually seen them awhile back. This was not my first time conversing with a Russian woman. Some years ago I was approached by a woman who insisted on money for a visa and ticket to come and meet me. This girl has not asked for money, or even help, or atleast not yet.

The intent is for me to visit her. I'm not going to be sending her any money. ;)

Anyhoo, thanks everyone for the help.

Goose0009
11-02-2005, 09:31
I DON'T UNDERSTAND ARE YOU SAYING YOUR GONNA GO TO RUSSIA TO MEET A RUSSIAN GIRL. WHY STOP THERE? MAYBE BEING A MAN AND THATS WHY I DON'T GET IT BUT TO THINK I HAVE TO GO SPEND MONEY ON A PLANE, VISA, HOTEL, AND YOUR TIME IN RUSSIA. THERE IS JUST NO WAY. NO IMPOSSIBLE. MAYBE THERE ARE NO GIRLS IN FLORIDA? I GUESS WHEN I WAS IN SOUTH BEACH ALL OF THOSE TALL, TAN, YOUNG AND LOVELY GIRLS WERE JUST MY SICK LITTLE FANTASY.

preacher of hedonism
11-02-2005, 09:55
Originally posted by ChrisC30
I know the time for asking when to marry appears a silly question. I was actually asking in regards to cultural expectations. How long is the "norm"?

Even here in the US a woman may expect a man is a deadbeat if he doesn't mention marriage plans within some timeframe. Luckily I don't live in those neighborhoods. :D well, i would say after 8-12 months of living together it would be ok to propose. at least that's how some of my now married mates did. i have only proposed once in my life after dating this person for 1,5 years, and luckily she said 'no' :)

kniga
11-02-2005, 10:40
ChrisC30,

I own a home in Florida and the beaches and towns are full of lovely ladies who all speak English (save the tourists, most of whom do, too). Check your motivation for discarding steak to go look for hamburger elsewhere. Russia is a wonderful land full of fascinating people, but I have been hustled by men and women here for the 15 years I've been operating in this exotic locale where I live and speak the language fluently. Since you asked for advice, I'll just say this: don't say we didn't warn you because you are probably about to get holes torn in your heart and your wallet.

sfjohns67
11-02-2005, 10:44
If you'd stay away from them dang racy young gals in the clodhopper heels and micro-minis, ya old fart, you might have a bit o' change left to rattle around when you play pocket pool.

kniga
11-02-2005, 10:59
Johnny Reb,

Old son, if you knew how much fun I'm having you'd rush to get as old as I am...

pengwn9
11-02-2005, 11:05
I don't understand why we get one of these sucker posts at least once a week and you guys are always trying to be so 'helpful'.

It seems to me if some guy is so desperate and dim-witted to ask questions like how long he should wait to marry a girl he hasn't even met, there is really no hope that you can enlighten him. These guys are all the same, over and over again.

If some Russian girl takes him (them) for all they're worth, then the Cassanova has got it coming. If you don't know enough about personal relationships than to ask perfect strangers thousands of miles away when you should kiss somebody, you're a hopelessly lost case. Only a guy who is incapable of forming close personal relationships with women in his own sphere would ask such dumb questions. And wanting to mate up with someone he's never seen? It's completely absurd.

These guys need more help than we could ever give them. I'm always wondering why there seem to be so many of them who are relationship disabled. Maybe if guys viewed women more as people, like any other people, they would get a clue.

Halyavshik
11-02-2005, 11:14
Originally posted by pengwn9
If some Russian girl takes him (them) for all they're worth, then the Cassanova has got it coming. If you don't know enough about personal relationships than to ask perfect strangers thousands of miles away when you should kiss somebody, you're a hopelessly lost case. Only a guy who is incapable of forming close personal relationships with women in his own sphere would ask such dumb questions. And wanting to mate up with someone he's never seen? It's completely absurd.

Here, here, Peng ! What did these shallow people do before the internet ? That's what I want to know !

"How long should I wait to marry this girl who's sent me ten postcards ?"

"I want to kiss her. I love the way she dots the 'i' with a little heart"

I mean, did the internet make us more gullible, shallow and trusting, and why ?

Filimon
11-02-2005, 13:20
TO the question of "how long". I had known my wife for 4 years when I proposed. Yet I know women who would expect after the first night together.

These are WOMEN. Women are a kind of people. People are different. Where they are from does not matter.

ChrisC30
11-02-2005, 23:08
Thanks, Filimon.

I guess some people are under the impression that I was asking a question other than what I had asked, even after my clarification.

And for those that think I'm a "sucker", isn't that what forums exist for? So that the "trusting" of us can perhaps learn better? If you think otherwise, go ahead and say so. ;)

Kokomo
25-07-2007, 09:42
I wonder what ever happened eventually with chris and his date :)

(OLD POST)))

Clean32
25-07-2007, 11:11
lol a tester.
Ask her for copies of her internal and international passports.
When you have that, and then tell her she has to do an invitation for you, at the local OVIR office and send that. Check that everything matches. (need Russian for that).
Then ask about if she can register you when you come.

if the response is YES YES and YES her intent is ok.

Next problem, she may / probably has some very romantic ideas about America etc etc, probably she has no idea about how you think, and you about how she thinks, etc. but these are not problems IF she really Loves you. And she doesnít love you at the moment she is INLOVE with the idea and prestige of Catching a rich Yank.

I didnít read anything about a cell phone?? a Russian girl with out a cell phone ?? Impossible!!
a Russian girl with out the STD fashion accessory ( cell phone) and double jointed thumbs from 30 million TXTs a day ??? uuummmm

Ghostly Presence
25-07-2007, 14:30
trebor -

Maybe she will be different from her photos, but I don't really mind how she looks. As long as she is who she is in her letters I am happy. :)

Looks like you are just a typical horny sucker. Prepare to be screwed.

pablo1uk
25-07-2007, 14:58
Chris,

I met my current wife to be (we are getting married 9th Aug) 3 years ago on MSN. However i think it is best to take a level headed and logical approach to things with this girl. For example, I decided to come and meet my GF in Moscow, nothing about anything romantic, just to see how things went as friends. Things developed. I went back to the UK after 5 days, and then accordingly invited her back to the UK in Novemeber, and then she came again for 3 weeks over Christmas too. We spent 2 years like this backwards and forward, before we had to make a descision either she move to UK or that I come to Russia.

She was very much against coming to the UK, which shut my mates up who were joking that she was after a green card. In the end we decided that I would move to Moscow and we would buy an apartment here 50% each.

All I would say if you see any strange behaviour like an over eagerness to visit your country, don't touch her with a bargepole! Likewise in your conversations find out what she does, what she earns, how she would pay to come to see you etc. If she is the type that is used to having everything paid for. You won't be able to sus this out just over the internet, so i would suggest you meet in Russia then in your country, like that its an even ground. If you are seriously thinking of meeting, and even getting serious ALREADY!! she shouldn't have any qualms about answering any of your questions.

At the end of the day don't be blinded by good looks, be logical, calm and take things easy......if you don't you will only have yourself to blame when it all goes t@ts up..

that my 2 pennies worth...

Opppps just realaised this post is like over 2 years old!!!!!! oh well..

skitchin
25-07-2007, 22:25
Wish1991 -

She sent me an email after finding my address in a chatroom one day. So we started emailing at first, and writing real letters after.

No, I don't intend to send money to her, although if necessary I will help her to get into the US to visit me. I'd like to see her first, get a feel for her surroundings. Plus I have a buddy in Kazan who can help me find more about her if she is not who she seems. ;)

She CAN'T visit you in the States. It's almost impossible if she's single, have no kids and no property. You'll have to visit her in Kazan or better Moscow since it'll be a neutral place for both of you.

Send her a flower and have the delivery guy take a photo of her to confirm she is what she says. That way you'll know she's not a scam with fake address or photo.

testera
25-07-2007, 23:45
Ok, here is my two cents...worth of digital ink...

First of all, a woman is a woman, no matter where she is...granted there are some differences from place to place. Just a word of caution...talk, even serious talk...is just talk. If you want to go and physically meet, and if the two of you are ready for that, then by all means, physically meet. I wont be like a couple other folks and "shoot down" the idea...From what I have read...social morays there are different than the other areas of the world...but that is in print...as to what actually happens...well, that is something I guess you have to experience. Just be cautious...as I am sure you have read...there are horror stories (кошар!). Those are from the dating sites, usually anything bad gets more attention than the things that are good and well...relatively normal.

Be excited but be cautious.

Aaron

Umutt65
25-07-2007, 23:51
Ok, here goes.

I've been emailing and writing back and forth with a lovely Russian girl, well 27 makes her a woman.

Things are heating up abit, and we've discussed meeting physically, probably becoming VERY serious.

With all the internet resources on dating Russian women I've come across, none seem to go into detail on the actual nuances of dating life.

How romantic is romantic?

What can I expect from a first meeting?

Should I be shocked if we begin kissing immediately? (Have heard that public affection isn't all that common.)

How long is a decent amount of time before asking her to marry me?

Are there any common personality traits I should be aware of?

She lives in Kazan, and works in an office, occassionally goes to bars with her girlfriends, if that makes a difference.

Help/advice appreciated.


Chris

Be careful it could be an Internet scam. Thats all I can say.

testera
26-07-2007, 00:42
I didn’t read anything about a cell phone?? a Russian girl with out a cell phone ?? Impossible!!
a Russian girl with out the STD fashion accessory ( cell phone) and double jointed thumbs from 30 million TXTs a day ??? uuummmm

snicker snicker snicker...

that would make me suspicious right there

and why the hell I didn't notice the original post was from 30,000 years ago is beyond me

sixfootwo
26-07-2007, 00:57
Here's the deal :

Men like sex
Girls like money

So they get together sometimes to exchange their "goodies"

If men remove the money, the girl goes away
If girls remove the sex, the man keeps handing over money. Cause we're stupid.

Such is life.

Whatever you do, do not ever let any woman have DIRECT access to your cash. Even if you love / trust / worship / marry her.
I've been married for a long long time and I live that statement myself.
Any worthwhile girl will WANT to earn her own money.

Clean32
26-07-2007, 01:13
LOL DUH 2005 lol so like 2 years ago. now im thinking what ever happend to the guy??

Bosco did he use a real email when he joined ?? if so could you flick him an email ??. i'm gona lose sleep over this now LOL

sanjana
26-07-2007, 10:01
marriage is a very important and sacred step you're taking, do you know the girl enough for you to know she is not lying and are you ready to spend your life with her??

Are you looking for approvals here? i don't know but i think it's a bit rushy to be talking about marriage when you have not even seen her.

Halyavshik
26-07-2007, 13:52
Be careful it could be an Internet scam. Thats all I can say.

It's a good thing no one else thought of saying that in the other some 80 posts in this thread from two years ago. Aren't you the quick one !

Sidney Bliss
26-07-2007, 15:11
Saucer of milk for Mr. Halyavshik please.

boscoe
26-07-2007, 16:20
It's a good thing no one else thought of saying that in the other some 80 posts in this thread from two years ago. Aren't you the quick one !
Give him a break... you're still telling the same stories you told four years ago :)

katiar
26-07-2007, 21:48
b*llox! he didnít exist four years ago

Kokomo
26-07-2007, 22:05
b*llox! he didnít exist four years ago

:ninja: Katusha :ninja: :inlove:

Sidney Bliss
26-07-2007, 22:19
b*llox! he didnít exist four years ago

Those were the days.