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yankee@moscow
04-12-2004, 12:49
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day number 181
(See above)

Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE!


EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat
dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape,
and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around
their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top
of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,
I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try
this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what
a good little cat I was... Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good
reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a
burning foamy chemical called "shampoo". What sick minds could
invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck
between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I
was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call "beer". More
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has
got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his
safety is assured. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time...

DPG
04-12-2004, 13:42
Great stuff!!

Have you ever seen "The Family Guy" cartoon?? The cat's diary above sounds like it could have been written by 'Little Stewie'...!

yankee@moscow
05-12-2004, 10:27
Originally posted by DPG
Great stuff!!

Have you ever seen "The Family Guy" cartoon?? The cat's diary above sounds like it could have been written by 'Little Stewie'...!

Nope, never seen the family guy. Is it TV or comics?

plastique
05-12-2004, 10:32
American tv cartoon along the veing of simpsons, but more irreverent and really hysterical....you shoud see it it is really funny...half crazed visigoth has stewie as his avatar....

DPG is right sounds a lot like stewie

koba65
05-12-2004, 10:58
Originally posted by DPG
Great stuff!!

Have you ever seen "The Family Guy" cartoon?? The cat's diary above sounds like it could have been written by 'Little Stewie'...!

That's exactly what I thought when I was reading it.

yankee@moscow
05-12-2004, 12:32
This is a sure sign that I've been in Moscow waaaaay too long. I have no idea what's going on in the USA....not on TV.....not music........not fashion.....not even in cartoons!

plastique
06-12-2004, 12:44
it is from the mid 90's actually. fox cancelled it and the DVD release was such a huge hit that they just resigned the show after a few years off. Pretty rare thing to happen.

ps the creator has a new show out as well that is supposed to be even better...plus new Family Guy on the way!

peyote
06-12-2004, 17:57
hilarious!

fox cancelled it? was it anti bush?
:D