View Full Version : International Comapny

06-10-2004, 14:34
Me and my investors are planning to open an international business firm here in Moscow. Due to proprietary constraints I can't tell you exactly what the nature of the business is but it will be big. My investors would like for me to have a little more experience in running an intenational company so could anybody direct me to a currently up and running international firm that might give me some OJT for being a CEO?

06-10-2004, 14:42

I'm sorry JD, on the job training for CEO? You've got to be joking. No one is going to be able to train you to be a CEO in a few months. What you should do is find someone who understands the fundamentals of what it would take to get your company functioning, growing and how to manage it from a classical resource manner. Allow that person to give you advice and his/her thoughts on how to do it - preferably as a mentor kind of thing.

But CEOs aren't "just add water" type of positions.

06-10-2004, 14:46
Would this international company by any chance be one which produces slightly creative wind-up toys?

ghost 6-3
06-10-2004, 14:53

06-10-2004, 15:00
Clasic JD, love your humor, you can have my job if ya like :)

06-10-2004, 15:18
We got plenty of CEO positions in large international companies available. No experiences necessary. Happy to train anybody ....

JD wake up. You cannot be serious. If you dont have yet, go and get an MBA, get some 10+ years experience ... then become a CEO of a large international company... if you are good and lucky.

And warn your investor: "Do not make business with me. I am naiv or clueless or both."

DJ Biscuit
06-10-2004, 15:29

Lesson number one. When making a presentation in English (or simply writing or speaking) use: ''My investors and I are...''

And not: ''Me and my investors are...''

No charge.

06-10-2004, 15:37
wow, seems like everyone really fell for this one.
nice one, JD.

06-10-2004, 15:40
TOp marks JD, love it..... broke up my mega PM answering time

DJ Biscuit
06-10-2004, 15:40
I think everyone found it funny, but I don't see where people fell for it. Everyone writes 'LOL', an indication of understanding what lies within the post.

06-10-2004, 15:59
ok, not everyone. just batman.
you'll have to excuse me, my eyes have already glazed over and it's only 4pm.

oh and thanks for that extra dose of condescension. not like i don't get enough from 9-5 as it is.

DJ Biscuit
06-10-2004, 16:07
Welcome, really IT IS my pleasure! :D

06-10-2004, 16:15
pthb! ;)

06-10-2004, 21:38
...OJT for being a CEO... that's funny.

07-10-2004, 10:49
Me and my investors
Good luck, JD. It's about time for you to quit trying to teach English.:D

07-10-2004, 13:46
J.D. - I can train you to be a CEO for a reasonable price. I can even give you the first lesson complimentary.
Lesson # 1 - TAKE OFF YOUR WHITE CAP. It's nice, and you look groovy in it... but where have you seen a CEO wearin a white cap? ;) :D

07-10-2004, 14:44
Thanks Sunstorm. I accept your help. And not to worry about my pay, since I'm in training you only have to pay me half of normal CEO pay.

07-10-2004, 16:38
Does that mean that if your company has trouble, you only do half the usual jail time? ;)

07-10-2004, 23:26

It is a pleasure to make your aquaintance. I am the former Right Honourable Minister of Trade for the Republic of Zamunda. My Grandmother, Queen Tatu, recently has died, leaving 50 billion Rupees in an account here. The only combination to her account was inserted in a live zebra and donated to the Moscow City Zoo. We would be most interested in transferring the money out of this account, but we need your help immediately!!!

07-10-2004, 23:40
as a good friend of mine, who happens to be a vet, has suggested. I have sedated the Zebra with a finger up its arse and it is now whispering 6 digit numbers in my ear.
Please give me your bank account details + passcode AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE before the zebra passes out and shits all over my hand.
Yours truly
Oliver Cromwell, 1st Lord of Buggery

08-10-2004, 09:34

Easy, lad! Donald Trump is giving just the classes you need on TV in America.

08-10-2004, 09:36
Originally posted by kniga

Easy, lad! Donald Chump is giving just the classes you need on TV in America.

The question is how long it will take until JD hears the magic words - "You're Fired!"

08-10-2004, 09:37
Not long!

Big Bugga
08-10-2004, 12:16
Me and some guys who give people money and stuff, to like make things and stuff think that It would be a good Idea if I got some OJT hangin' out with CEO's and junk like that, you know hittin' the strip clubs, downin' some brews..grubbin' on some fine eats and generaly just chillin'. If you could direct me to some kinda place that has those CEO guys that like wanna hang and fire up the xbox and order some zza' gimme a shout...word.

Sorry its late and my brain hurts...I thought I would spread some of my pain to you fine people...


Oh and if any of you fine folks do need a person as mentioned above lemme know...true dat'