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View Full Version : Are you happy with that Russian man you married ?



Maine Surfer
04-10-2004, 17:55
This poll is for non-Russian females.

Just curious, how is it working out for you all 'n all?

Having "cross-cultural"problems? Would you do it again given the choice?

Maine Surfer
05-10-2004, 09:36
3-5 against Russians so far. Any comments anyone?

J.D.
05-10-2004, 09:48
How does it compare with any other nationality?

Maine Surfer
05-10-2004, 11:01
Well there is no comparison. There are some foreign women married Russian men and I simply want to know how their relationships are

J.D.
05-10-2004, 11:31
I meant the unhappiness statistics.

polly
05-10-2004, 13:59
4 years and still going. so far so good.

i doubt there are any real statistics, but if you want to get a somewhat dated view on the matter, read "Wedded Strangers" by Lynn Visson.
I have copies in the original English and the Russian translation that I would be willing to lend to responsible, book-returning borrowers.

Maine Surfer
07-10-2004, 10:14
polly, you are looking at the post of a responsible, book-returning, all around nice, handsome, pleasant, never swearing, non smoking and non drinking borrower (humbly) yeah right! (first 2 points are true though). I would love to borrow it

Maine Surfer
07-10-2004, 11:10
c'mon girls, don't just vote, comment ;)

M-C
07-10-2004, 11:46
Well, as far as voting goes, I wouldn't tempt fate by saying that we have a great relationship, neither would I, except in moments of doom and gloom say that I'm fed up.... We've been together, my husband and I for more than 12 years now and I can't say that we compare either very favourably or unfavourably to western relationships, if one can compare, on the other hand, the pesky sides seem to be quite similar (list neither short, nor sweet :eek: ).
I used to think that the "Russianness" of the situation was the main challenge, now I think that the pressure you undergo here is responsible for a lot of relationships turning sour. Even if you don't have to go through a lot of it (we have) it's a real sword of Damocles hanging over your head, and of a VERY different nature to the "what if we can't pay our mortgage" type of concern you have in the west, which is "outside" pressure, here the pressure starts right in your guts....

polly
07-10-2004, 13:44
Originally posted by Maine Surfer
polly, you are looking at the post of a responsible, book-returning, all around nice, handsome, pleasant, never swearing, non smoking and non drinking borrower (humbly) yeah right! (first 2 points are true though). I would love to borrow it

great! i can't get my own russian to read it! ;)

Fa-Q!
07-10-2004, 14:07
Yeah, I can really see him in his smoking jacket reading about cross-cultural relationships. Be happy that you don't have that kinda dude, polly.

polly
07-10-2004, 15:21
LOL!
full points, Fa-Q!

Maine Surfer
07-10-2004, 16:15
Originally posted by Fa-Q!
Yeah, I can really see him in his smoking jacket reading about cross-cultural relationships. Be happy that you don't have that kinda dude, polly.
I don't have a smoking. Oh you meant my smoking jacket. Yeah, the jacket is smokiiiing :) I'm a nice boy with a smokiiing jacket :cool:

jules
07-10-2004, 16:35
Things good so far, though we haven't managed to wade through the tsunami of bureaucracy needed to make it to legal matrimony yet. Working on it, though... ;)

J.D.
13-10-2004, 12:59
Jules! I clearly remember you telling me that you couldn't imagine being married and tied to just one person.
What was the word you used?
"Boring"!?

Maine Surfer
13-10-2004, 13:55
Jules, are you a newly wed?

jules
13-10-2004, 14:17
JD - well, with the wrong man, it would be boring! ;)

MS - not yet, working on it. :)

peyote
13-10-2004, 15:14
i'm sick and tired of my russian man, he goes out getting drunk with his friends while i have to stay home cooking that soup.

peyote
13-10-2004, 15:18
sorry, i thought it was bardak
:D

polly
13-10-2004, 15:53
what kind of soup, peyote??

;)

jules
13-10-2004, 15:58
Vegetable soup, I bet. ;)

Q - If a vegetarian eats only vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

peyote
13-10-2004, 16:46
vegetable soup, indeed. maybe something to do with my signature line ;)

stefania2003
13-10-2004, 17:48
Well, the men were one of the reasons I left Mother Russia. My ex-husband was a Muscovite and since him there have been other drunken, parasitic, non-too-hygienic f**kers. Good riddance to them and by the way, I saw some drunks sitting by the entrance to the metro quite near where I live and guess what language they were speaking?:))

Dreamcatcher
14-10-2004, 01:47
Posting for my wife (sadly, she is not so much interested in this forum). From her words she is really happy with me. :D

waste not want not
14-10-2004, 10:00
When marrying a Russian, one needs to qualify more then the normal potential problems. First of all most of the stories about the Russian partner wanting leave here for the Promised Land is nonsense. I would say that less then 20% of the stories I know have ended happily.

The real problem comes when there are children involved. The kids love both parents regardless in most cases because divorce is a difficult on children period. What happens later though is the tricky part. You are from another part of the world, different language, ideas, and you time here is up so what do you do at that point? Fight through court and try to win custody, limit yourself to seeing during vacation time, or change your whole life and adapt yourself to be close to them.

International marriages are common enough but true love is not. The novelty wears out due to language, culture, or other reasons and then what do you do.

Part time parenting might be cool for some people, but if you are like me your children are your life.

People getting married here should really think it through, if not for their on benefit but for that of those who will follow.

Kingwillhe
14-10-2004, 10:14
A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a bottle.
She picked it up and rubbed it, and 'low-and-behold' a genie appeared!
The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.
The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So... what'll it be?"
The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East.
See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony."
The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done.
Make another wish and please be reasonable."
The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That's what I wish for ... a good man."
The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see the damn map again."

PJB
14-10-2004, 19:36
Like Jules, still dealing with the paperwork Kashmar. But very happy together. No problem with future kids (we each have grown ones from previous marriages). Only big problem is with his Russian (spoiled rotten ) 21yr old son. But throwing him out this month should solve the problem!

Maine Surfer
22-10-2004, 11:40
Glad to see that quite a few women are happy with their Russian hubbies :)

My wife is happy with me except for when she tells me You are a moody bastard

plastique
25-10-2004, 14:19
gotts keep my bastards straight..you mods, sfj grumpy... got it

Didn't need a genie, i found everything she was asking for in my guy! (plus he can kick some ass if needed)

Voted would never...my dad warned me if I brought a Russian man home he would kill me..plus, no offense, i don't find Russian men that attractive...dated one, that was way more than enough.

Maine Surfer
25-10-2004, 14:56
Originally posted by plastique


I don't find Russian men that attractive

Cutest guys in the world! :D :cool:

Maine Surfer
25-10-2004, 14:57
When sober :D

Sunstorm
25-10-2004, 15:08
Originally posted by plastique
no offense, i don't find Russian men that attractive...dated one, that was way more than enough.

Just crossed my mind that I never happened to date any Russian! Same reason, I guess... plus, afraid they don't find me attractive too... nu i slava bogu!

Sunstorm
25-10-2004, 15:09
Oi... MSurfer, something telling me you aren't really Russian.... neither is Midas ;)

plastique
26-10-2004, 12:04
Originally posted by Maine Surfer
Cutest guys in the world! :D :cool:

are you on crack?

Maine Surfer
26-10-2004, 12:21
Originally posted by Sunstorm
Oi... MSurfer, something telling me you aren't really Russian.... neither is Midas ;)

Did you date me and Midas :confused: :confused:

I'm not 100% Russian true, I was some time ago though. Who am I? I'm a mutated hybrid. Took and combined the best from Russian and American :cool:

Don't even start about Midas, he's very proud of being only Russian.

Maine Surfer
26-10-2004, 12:21
Originally posted by plastique
are you on crack?

Oh come on... You don't think so????

jules
26-10-2004, 13:52
Actually, my guy isn't really Russian either, but that's his first language, and he has the passport, so I answered the poll... I'm afraid I have to agree, Russian men, more often than not, are way low on the cuteness scale - unless you go for the pudgy fuzzy bear type - but some of the mixed-nationality guys are cute, and if you like tall blonds then there are some lookers in Ukraine/southern Russia... ;)

Sunstorm
27-10-2004, 13:49
Originally posted by Maine Surfer
Did you date me and Midas :confused: :confused:



If I would, you won't forget it, kid...

plastique
27-10-2004, 15:39
i agree jules...

most of the guys here fall into two categories...the smashed on the face with a 2x4 thug look or the trying way to hard to be Euro trash and failing miserably coming off as totally gay look..

don't kill me these are generalizations...and midas and maine surfer are exceptions....it's really the guys who have never travelled or have no foreign friends to give them a clue....

DPG
27-10-2004, 15:50
Sometimes the ones who have travelled and do have foreign friends are even worse - especially when they speak foreign languages...they form that particularly odious species, the "RUxpat"...

Bloody hell, SFJ's post in Bardak has done it, now I'm in a foul mood too!

Maine Surfer
02-11-2004, 09:13
Originally posted by DPG
Sometimes the ones who have travelled and do have foreign friends are even worse - especially when they speak foreign languages...they form that particularly odious species, the "RUxpat"...


RUxpats.... Well I fall into this category. I'm both: expat and RUxpat
I speak foreign languages...
So, am I an odious specie that is worse than Eurotrash???

Thank you DPG :(

Maine Surfer
02-11-2004, 09:14
Originally posted by plastique
i agree jules...

and midas and maine surfer are exceptions

thank you gal :) You are so nice, not like DPG ;)

CaliforniaAngel
09-12-2004, 06:18
Originally posted by Maine Surfer
Cutest guys in the world! :D :cool:

I totally agree! :D :D :D

Blue Jean
12-01-2005, 12:42
Originally posted by plastique


most of the guys here fall into two categories...the smashed on the face with a 2x4 thug look or the trying way to hard to be Euro trash and failing miserably coming off as totally gay look..

don't kill me these are generalizations...
Generalizations? Unfortunately, those are NOT :) Russian men look as if they are permanently 50 even if they are in their early 30's. And if you are lucky enough to meet someone really cute, he turns out to be a complete scumbag, and it's usually your money he's after. Sad indeed... :(

jchidg1
13-01-2005, 17:54
Well mine is lovely...... 6 years younger than me, hygeinic, sober - unless out with me, and really quite firm. Thinks sun shines out of my arse the poor misguided fool. Bloody marvellous.

jchidg1
13-01-2005, 17:55
And he can spell, unlike me.