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Thread: Lucifer's Son

  1. #16
    Fantastika is offline Temporarily banned (Sin Bin)
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    In High Orbit
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    I don't know if I could slog through this, even with some beers.

    I think I've put my finger on why I think this is a tough read - the translator is using too many words, unnecessary or redundant words. This is not uncommon - most English writers do the same thing, but the reader, especially in an action novel, prefers short and sweet, not long and tedious.

    I opened a page at random. Here is a section of sentences, and how I would change them (my changes in parentheses):

    The sorcerer was very near him.
    (The sorcerer was near.)

    Time stopped for Fedor. A step... one more.
    (Time stopped). (A step...then another...)

    Right now.

    At that moment, Jack leapt.
    (Jack leaped.)

    Fedor caught a glimpse of some movement,
    (Fedor glimpsed movement,)

    and the next moment,

    a growling and shrieking tangle of the two bodies of the man and the dog rolled on the ground.
    (a growling, shrieking tangle of man and dog rolling around on the ground.)

    The plot may be good, the characters described well, the dialogues and conversations are excellent, but the translation, uh, not so good. I wonder if the Russian version has better style?

  2. #17
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Thanked: 3697
    Quote Originally Posted by Fantastika View Post
    Cool, I didn't know you could do that. But it's not the whole book, just the first part. I suppose if you read it, and liked it, it's like a carrot to get you to buy the whole thing.

    well it was to good to be true... can only read when you stay on the link. saving did not work. and it is indeed a teaser only. though could not tease me. i gave up after a few pages. to weird for me.
    There is no greater treasure then pleasure....

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